AITA For Taking A DNA Text Against My (Paternal) Family’s Wishes?

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When a loved one passes, what’s left behind is often more than just grief—it’s the truth. For one 21-year-old woman, her grandfather’s death didn’t just unlock inheritance papers; it unraveled a decades-old family secret that no one dared to say aloud. The will wasn’t ordinary—it demanded DNA tests to prove who truly belonged in the family line.

While her aunts, uncle, and grandmother urged everyone to stay united and avoid the test, she made a bold choice. She got tested, alone—and what followed was a dramatic storm of accusations, emotional chaos, and quiet vindication. As the money rolled in, so did the guilt. Was she wrong to go against the grain, or was she simply following the last wish of a man who had already seen too much betrayal?

‘AITA For Taking A DNA Text Against My (Paternal) Family’s Wishes?’

I (21f) had a rich grandfather who died recently and I didn't know him very well. He divorced my grandmother when my dad was 13 and barely spoke to him or his siblings for a few years after that. My aunts and uncle never why and felt really rejected by my grandfather's lack of interest in seeing them on a regular basis.

When my dad was 18 he reached out to my grandfather and reconnected with him. Eventually, my grandfather was able to somewhat mend his relationship with my dad's other siblings and he even paid for their college. However, my grandfather and grandmother were still pretty bitter towards each other but never told anyone why or the reason for the divorce.

They didn't really stop being openly hostile to each other until my dad died when I was 4. Now that my grandfather's dead the secret came out when the will was read. Apparently my grandma had an affair and when she was pregnant with aunt she didn't know who the father was but choose my grandfather because he was the most financially stable.

My grandfather didn't know for the longest time until he caught my grandmother in another affair and found an old letter her first lover sent that she kept. He was furious and filed for divorce and used every legal although not very ethical trick in the book to hoard as much of he assets and resources as he could.

The will stated that before each child could claim their share of the inheritance they would have to take a DNA test to prove that they were his biological child. To any child that refused the test or they were proven not to be biologically related to my grandfather,

then they would just be given $5,000 while the rest would be allocated to the children who were proven to be his biological child. We were all shocked and grandma was livid. There were a lot of fights but in the end everyone wanted to present a 'united front' and just try and find some kind of loophole, claim the money and then take a DNA test.

I never agreed to that and resented being told what to do as a legal adult. I tried to talk to them about it but they shut me down twice. My uncle's wife even accused me of not really being my dad's kid so I shouldn't get any money anyway. That pissed me off so I just took the DNA test outta spite and I am my grandfather's biological grandchild so as of right now I'm getting most of the money.

My paternal side was really angry with me. It's now started this domino effect where everyone is starting to fight with everyone and now that the euphoria of showing up my uncle's wife is wearing off I'm starting to feel guilty because of how it's effecting my cousins so AITA?.

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Edit: Okay I stepped away for a little bit and I just wanted to clarify somethings.. A) Already stated this but, my dad died before my grandfather so his opinion doesn't matter. B) My grandmother, aunts and uncle never liked my mom and were always passive-aggressive towards her. Even after my dad died they still weren't very nice to her. What my aunt said was the final straw that broke the camel's back.

C) I wasn't apart of the decision to not take the DNA test. Everyone else had been having meetings and just told me in a very Authoritative way what was going happen. Like my opinion didn't matter. If they would've asked me to join their choice I would've done so.

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D) If I turn out to be the only one who ends up getting the money I have no problem setting up a small trust with my cousins at the very least. The only person I would 100% not give a solid dime to is my uncle's wife. Pretty sure that chick is r**ist and I'm biracial.

E) Because someone asked, while I did like my grandfather and care about my cousins I am much more closer to my maternal side than my paternal side. Again, a lot of that has to do with the fact that they didn't like my mom..

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Edit 2:. F) From my understanding combining the money, properties, and other assets the appraised value is around $4.2 million. G) Everyone has up to a year to comply to the DNA test. If everyone had refused, assuming there wasn't a loophole to exploit, each person would get just the $5k and the rest would've gone to charities that my grandfather felt deserved it..

Edit 3: H) The reason why they haven't all taken the test yet was because my grandma doesn't want them too. She denies everything that my grandfather is accusing her of and says that the letter provided is a fake. She's too insulted by the mere accusation and thinks that if her children do it then they're doubting her integrity while also giving into my grandpa's manipulation 'from beyond the grave.'

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When family meets inheritance and DNA tests, things rarely stay simple. In this case, the OP found herself in the middle of a delicate storm—caught between fulfilling her grandfather’s final request and upsetting an entire branch of her family tree. Her grandfather’s will made one thing clear: only biological descendants would inherit, and proof through a DNA test was required. While most of her paternal family balked at the condition, OP followed through—uncovering uncomfortable truths and securing her inheritance. To her relatives, this felt like betrayal. To her, it was just honoring a promise.

Situations like this are becoming more common. With the rise of consumer DNA testing, family secrets are increasingly hard to bury. A 2019 Pew Research study found that nearly 1 in 3 users discovered unexpected results, sometimes uncovering affairs, misattributed paternity, or hidden siblings.

As Dr. Leah Richmond-Rakerd, a behavioral scientist at the University of Michigan, points out: “Information about our biological ties can shake the foundations of our identity—but it also gives people a chance to rebuild on truth.” That’s what OP did: she accepted the truth, however messy, and made peace with it.

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Could she have handled it differently? Maybe. But it’s hard to fault someone for doing what was legally and ethically allowed. If anything, the situation underscores the importance of transparency, even in families that would rather keep things under wraps. In the end, inheritance isn’t just about money—it’s about family dynamics, identity, and trust. OP made a choice, and now the emotional aftermath is hers to manage.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here are some hot takes from Reddit—honest, spicy, and straight to the point:

yay_darkness − NTA. This was a stupid game and everyone won the stupid prize. The family sounds ridiculous and your aunt opened her yap and got a mouthful of her own crap to chew on. It sounds like there's a lot going on, but if they want to fight over the will,

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it's likely because some of them already know they don't fit into the terms and just want the money. They could all be related, for all they know. You're just abiding by the terms of the will and in the end, you also got a little back at someone who was unnecessarily cruel to you. Too bad for her.

LittelFoxicorn − NTA, It was your grandfathers wish, so if anything he is the A. And your aunt sounds like a n**ty piece of work.. Also, the rest of your family has the choise to do the same and get tested. If it is a f*ck ton of money however,

you might concider setting up a college fund for your nephews and nieces, one that the aunt can't touch.. It would be a nice gesture from you that might unify the family while respecting your grandfathers wishes.

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Dangerfyeld − NTA. Your grandmother had repeated affairs and faced consequences. Now they'd much rather find a loophole than come together as a family and pool what money they get. Shows they neither trust nor really like each other. They viewed you stepping out as a threat and showed them are reprehensible people.

Hellbound_Life − NTA you don’t need their permission to get a DNA test.

ruiva1 − NTA no one is entitled to his money. Had grandpa chosen only some of his children to give money to, that would have been his choice. He made a choice. I do have a feeling your aunt knows she's not his bio kid and therefore is pressuring the family to not comply

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WaDaEp − How many children did your grandmother have? Has anybody asked your grandmother which child might not be your grandfather's bio child? She should know after all. I'm thinking they already asked her and thus the reason why your uncle's aunt tried to make you think you weren't your father's child as they knew from grandmother that your father was indeed a bio child of your grandfather's.

My uncle's wife even accused me of not really being my dad's kid so I shouldn't get any money anyway.. I tried to talk to them about it but they shut me down twice.. This makes me wonder if she knows her husband is not a bio child. And it all sounds suspicious to me that they wouldn't talk to you about it.

It sounds like your uncle's wife gave away their plan against you. Since your father isn't here to claim his portion of the inheritance, they might have thought it was then easier to keep you from getting any of the money. And they probably knew that you couldn't afford legal fees for however many years to get your fair share of the inheritance if they stiffed you out of it.

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So, imo, it was a good idea and self-protection for you to take that DNA test. Good on you. That was a smart thing to do, imo. Make sure the lawyer(s) for your grandfather's estate and the executor(s) get copies of your DNA test. NTA, since it was your grandfather's money to stipulate how he wanted to disperse it.

$5k to his non-biological children isn't something to sneeze at. It's still a lot of money. Also, if your aunts and uncles (bio or not) had been on good terms with your grandfather, he might not have written his will this way. If any of them had gotten to be on friendly terms with him, he could have made a special gift to them. I don't know what happened between them all, but that was on them, not you.

horsendogguy − I don't understand all the n**ty comments about grandpa. We regularly see posts on here from men who found out their SO cheated and they are not the father of a child, and the overwhelming majority of commenters consistently assure the poster it's ok to kick the kid to the curb unless a relationship has developed,

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in which case the kid should only be kicked to the curb gently. I've never seen Redditors tell the devastated not the father told he should still treat the children who are not his equally with his own. 'Not your kid; not your problem.' That's all gramps did; he provided for the kids that are his progeny but not for those who are not. So what's your problem?. NTA

Amara_Undone − That's a pretty messed up will and spiteful thing your grandfather did, look what it's done to your family. The ethical thing to do would be for all those that are his blood relatives to claim the money then split it evenly with the ones who aren't. Not that you have to but if you want to put your grandfather's bitterness to rest with him, rather than tear the family apart...then I think that's how you do it.. NTA.

StretfordEnderWiggin − NTA. Your grandpa rolling a grenade into the family before going into the void is pretty legendary.

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Stuffnthings1840 − NTA. None of this is on you. Get that cushion.

These commenters don’t hold back—but do they reflect the complexity of the situation?

Was she selfish, or just brave enough to face the truth? This family saga isn’t just about inheritance—it’s about identity, loyalty, and justice from beyond the grave. With millions on the line, the emotional cost may be even higher than the dollar signs. What would you do if a loved one’s will forced you to choose between family and truth? Would you comply—or walk away to preserve the peace? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear your perspective!

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