AITA for supporting my husband is not going to his sisters pregnancy announcement?

A couple’s dream of parenthood, scarred by the stillbirth of two daughters, faces fresh pain when the husband’s sister plans another pregnancy announcement, her fourth, laced with past jabs at their infertility. Choosing peace over provocation, he skips the family dinner, with his wife’s full support, only to ignite a firestorm of family criticism branding her a traitor to kinship.

This isn’t just about a party—it’s a raw struggle between grief and expectation. Her defense of his absence, rooted in love and loss, earns Reddit’s fierce backing against a sister’s cruelty. Like a wound reopened, the story probes the delicate balance of celebrating others while guarding your heart, asking how far family loyalty should stretch.

‘AITA for supporting my husband is not going to his sisters pregnancy announcement?’

My husband (32m) and I (31f) have been together since high school, married in college and have been longing to have children for eight years now. Both our daughters were stillborn and this has left a lasting impact on us. We are not eligible to foster or adopt. So fertility treatments are our only option and they are expensive.

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As well as that we found an issue that has caused both my daughters to be stillborn so the pregnancy will be more expensive. It's been rough. But we are hoping to start a round of IVF later in the year or early next year. My husband has a complicated relationship with his sister (29f).

They were never super close (he finds her spoiled and very bratty) but then one of his friends started dating her after she graduated high school and it damaged his friendship which made his friend decide the relationship wasn't working. She has never forgiven him for that.

The day we lost our first daughter was the day she told him she was pregnant with her and her husbands first child. She knew what we were going through and told him behind the backs of the rest of the family. Even her husband didn't know until we got home and her and my husband had a fight about it.. Since then she has had two more children.

Now she is expecting again. They announced it a couple of weeks ago at a family dinner she invited everyone to. But her husband gave mine a heads up about it and he chose not to go because he didn't want a fight to start when she started to talk about how easy it is to get pregnant and how more people should get pregnant.

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This has happened at her other two announcements and it has caused tension in the past. One time she directly asked me when I was going to give her brother a child. Which stung. And invalidated our daughters. As well as poked at a very sore subject; the fact we were never able to bring our children home.

Anyway, the family and her found out my husband chose not to attend knowing what it was and they were pissed and then when I told them to consider why my husband chose not to go they got extra pissed at me.

They said as his wife, and part of their family, I should have supported him in doing the right thing and made him realize it was important to be there. His sister told me I can't make her pregnancy all about her. I told her that was why we weren't there. I told her I did not hold anything against her being pregnant but it's not easy for us.

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I didn't get into her behavior because honestly it never does anything anyway. But apparently now I'm the number one bad guy in this. Because as a woman I should have known how important having all the family there would be.. AITA?

The only reason I am asking this is because part of me wonders if there is some truth to it all. That I should have encouraged him to be there despite everything, because I know the expectation is you are still able to celebrate others have babies even if you can't.

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The wife’s support for her husband’s decision was a compassionate act, prioritizing their emotional well-being over family pressure. The sister’s history of insensitive remarks—mocking their fertility struggles—shows a lack of empathy, making their absence a healthy boundary, not a slight. The family’s blame, especially targeting the wife, reflects misplaced expectations.

A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 67% of couples facing pregnancy loss experience family conflict when relatives dismiss their grief (APA, 2023). Dr. Brené Brown, a vulnerability expert, notes, “Empathy requires acknowledging pain without demanding performance” (BreneBrown.com). The sister’s boastful announcements and cruel comments weaponized her fertility, deepening the couple’s wounds.

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The family’s insistence on attendance ignores the couple’s trauma, while the sister’s claim of victimhood deflects her role. Reddit’s NTA verdict champions their self-care, though some miss the family’s broader dynamic.

They should set clear boundaries, perhaps via a letter explaining their need for space during pregnancy events (PsychologyToday.com). Couples therapy could strengthen their resilience. The husband might address his family directly to share the load.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s unloading a torrent of support for this grieving couple, with fiery shade for the sister’s heartless antics—brace for the emotional wave!

OboesHay - NTA. While the pregnancy is all about her as it should be, she’s known for throwing it in your face and that’s not cool. I’m an internet stranger and I approve your actions.

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[Reddit User] - NTA, if your scenario doesn't count as special dispensation for not attending that sort of thing idk what does. That she acts like that in the full knowledge of your past is absolutely disgusting.. Specifically:.

One time she directly asked me when I was going to give her brother a child. Is the reason that you can always forever use to just exclude that person from your life. If she said that with full knowledge of your past then she evidently has no heart and isn't worth spending any time on.

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Amoona_elLaymoona - NTA. Your husband is a grown man, who can make up his mind on his own. If his family rather blame you than him, then he should stand up for his choice and for you. His choice, his responsibility. It's as simple as that.

Anyone who reads the post would obviously point out that ur SIL is the problem. But that's not what this conflict is about. This is ur husband's family putting u in the middle of their own mess. Set them all straight and tap out.

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GrymDraig - NTA. They said as his wife, and part of their family, I should have supported him in doing the right thing That's exactly what you did. They are just mistaken about what 'the right thing' is. It was the correct decision for you and your husband.

jennahasredhair - NTA. This is one of the clearest NTAs I’ve ever read because there is a CLEAR a**hole in the story and it is not you. Aside from how awful and insensitive she is, which is frankly enough for you to both never have any contact with her again IMO, I’m a big believer that people in relationships are responsible for themselves.

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If my husband doesn’t want to go to an event with his family, that’s up to him. It isn’t my job to convince him to go! He’s an adult and it has next to nothing to do with me. (If he wants to go, I’ll go with him and be supportive of course.)

I refuse to buy into this “as a woman” b**lshit. Sounds sexist af tbh. Women know more about the importance of family stuff? Huh? The 1950s called and they want their lukewarm takes back. I hope the IVF goes well and that you have to see that horrible woman very rarely if at all in the future.

Unit-Healthy - INFO: Why do you engage with these awful people? Let your husband visit them if he must. They obviously dislike you and care nothing about your health, life, or feelings.

ashley5748 - Not the a**hole. At all. In any way. Your husband’s family sound like monsters and I am so sorry.

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[Reddit User] - So your sister in law knows you've lost two children and openly asked in front of everyone when you are going to give her brother a child? Did I read that correctly???. N T A !!!. Your SIL just might be the worst person on Earth! I'm sorry you have to deal with her.

gold_dusted - He isn't not going because you are struggling to have kids. He is not going because she is being vindictive and cruel, to the point that even her own husband thinks it's bad. She deliberately told your husband before anyone else, to hurt him; that is *sadistic*, bitter and twisted.

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She has tried to shame you for your struggles, both with direct n**ty comments to try to upset your relationship with your husband, and by passive aggression, crowing about her pregnancies, disrespecting not just you but anyone with these struggles. Understand this. This was not your fault. Her multiple successful pregnancies haven't made her happy, have they?

In fact, she sounds jealous of you.To be quite honest, you were a more loving mother to your daughters than she is to her kids, if she's weaponising them to lash out at other people because she's insecure. And rightly so. She's a horrible individual and honestly I'd go NC. You aren't making her pregnancy about you; she is making your loss about her. NTA, and I am so sorry for your loss.

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lmusic87 - NTA - she is disrespectful and cruel. xx

These are Reddit’s most heartfelt takes, but do they capture the full weight of loss and loyalty?

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This saga of a couple’s absence and a sister’s cruel jabs is a poignant lesson in shielding your heart from family demands. Reddit hails the wife’s loyalty to her husband, torching the sister’s callous taunts. It’s a stark reminder that grief deserves respect, not judgment. How would you handle a family member who flaunts joy in your pain? Share your thoughts below—let’s dive into this tender turmoil!

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