AITA For Stopping My Boyfriend’s Proposal at our Best Friend’s Wedding?

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At a joyous wedding reception, amid clinking glasses and laughter, a 26-year-old woman’s heart skips as her boyfriend stands, fork in hand, ready to propose. But this isn’t their moment—it’s their best friends’ day. Having warned him against it, she whispers a firm “not now,” stopping him cold. His face falls, and the night sours.

This Reddit tale, laced with love and missteps, pulls readers into a whirlwind of romance and etiquette. Was she right to guard the bride’s spotlight, or did she crush her boyfriend’s grand gesture? It’s a lively clash of hearts and social graces, begging the question of where loyalty lies.

‘AITA For Stopping My Boyfriend’s Proposal at our Best Friend’s Wedding?’

I (F26) and my boyfriend (M25) attended a mutual friend’s wedding. They’re very close friends to us and brought my boyfriend and I together. My boyfriend and I are coming up on our 3 year anniversary and things were getting pretty serious. Enough so that I very much wanted to marry him.

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He’s sweet, chatty, typically considerate and empathetic. He’s the person who I thought was the first to show me what a truly healthy and compassionate relationship was like. He’s very serious about us too. We’ve had long talks about marriage and it seemed we were in agreement with no formal declaration.

We had even gotten as far as looking at rings. So the chance of a proposal was more of a “when” not “if.” A few weeks before the wedding, us and the engaged couple at the time were hanging out. The topic of weddings was very prevalent and my boyfriend had cracked a joke about proposing at our friend’s wedding.

The to-be-groom joked back and said “that’d be funny as hell.” This was followed by me and the to-be-bride both shutting it down; trying to be serious but also not thinking he was serious.. He was. During the reception, everyone had made their speeches and people were getting their food.

While our table was waiting, my boyfriend went up to the DJ, and after, they played my boyfriend and I’s favorite song to scream sing in the car together — Story of my Life by One Direction. I look at him, smiling and he’s looking around. All of a sudden he grabs a fork, stands up and begins clanging on a glass.

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Immediately the whole dining room looks over. I stand up and whisper the words “not. Right. Now.” His face drops and he yells a mix of “I’m sorry, I was just joking.” After he sat back down I verbatim said “let them have their moment, let’s make this our own.” He wouldn’t even look at me.

When it was time to get our food he immediately goes toward the exit. I follow and tried to catch up to him but couldn’t find him. I text him twice and call him a couple times, but got no answer, so I went back to the reception. After not hearing from him for about an hour and a half or so, he returns, sits down, and doesn’t even look at me.

The rest of the night was terrible. He looked like his dog just died and I’m trying to make the best out of the night, but felt like I was just in his shadow. I was prepping for a breakdown or maybe a fight in the car, but the only thing he said was “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” And the drive was just quiet and awkward.

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He sent me a long text about how hard it was to get the ring, how he felt rejected by his closest person and that I embarrassed him. I tried to explain that it’s not that I didn’t want to marry him. It was our best friend’s wedding and they deserve their moment. That we should create our own and not piggyback off theirs. He got offended and said that if I wanted to marry him, I wouldn’t have stopped his proposal in front of everybody.

This situation perplexes me. I’ve never seen the appeal of proposing at someone else’s wedding and tried to handle the situation in a way that I felt was calm and chill. But he’s very adamant that I ruined the proposal, made him look like an a**hole, and thus im the a**hole. Am I missing something? Should I admit I was wrong and have just let his proposal go at our friend’s wedding?

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The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

This wedding-day drama isn’t just about a thwarted proposal—it’s a tangle of respect, timing, and relationship trust. The woman’s quick move to stop her boyfriend’s plan preserved her friends’ moment but left him feeling rejected, exposing a rift in their shared values.

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She saw the proposal as tacky, especially after she and the bride vetoed it. He viewed it as a romantic surprise, misjudging its impact. A 2023 survey found 80% of couples consider proposing at another’s wedding inappropriate, aligning with her stance.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Healthy partnerships thrive on mutual respect for boundaries.” His insight flags the boyfriend’s disregard for her clear objection as a red flag. Gottman advises open dialogue to rebuild trust. She could initiate a calm talk, affirming her love while stressing the need for shared decision-making. Couples counseling might help align their values.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s crowd roared with opinions, from applause for her etiquette save to warnings about her boyfriend’s red flags. Here’s a taste of their fiery takes, blending support with sharp relationship advice:

No_Glove_1575 − NTA. The bride to be is one of your best friends and was NOT down with your man proposing at her wedding. Who cares if the groom thinks it would be “funny”…this is a 2 yes type situation from the married couple.

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Live-Ice7323 − NTA. It was bad taste for him to propose at the wedding. It would have been unfair to the bride and groom not to mention tacky. He needs to get over it and move on. Out of all the possible scenarios to propose he chose the worst options. You did the right thing by stopping him. No one knew he was going to propose so he shouldn't feel embarrassed.

Lunalinfortune − NTA . He is not as empathetic as you think 

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AdAccomplished6870 − Proposing at someone else's wedding is incredibly rude. You saved him from embarrassing himself. If he can't be an adult about this and keeps sulking, you have some thinking to do. That he thought it was allright to do in the first place is a huge red flag

Lurker_the_Pip − 1. The bride said not to do that.. 2. You said not to do that.. 3. He didn’t ask them permission.. 4. He’s selfish.. Take a good hard look at his behavior.. Is he the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral?. What he attempted was incredibly wrong.. You did the right thing.. Show him this post.. NTA

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NYCStoryteller − NTA. You AND the bride shot him down when he floated this idea. You didn't reject him, you rejected the timing of the proposal and the location. This was THEIR wedding day, not a day for him to shine a spotlight on you.

What he was doing was tacky, and you tried to stop him discreetly.. If he looks like an a**hole, it actually is that HE IS THE A**HOLE. Own it, dude.. Maybe he's not as awesome and as good at healthy relationships as you thought he was.

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Intuitive-wisd0m − Girl I noticed you are ignoring the comments telling you that this is a bigger red flag than you think because you want to stay positive and think the best of him, but those people are not wrong. The wording in some of these replies can seem harsh, but that’s not because they are all anti-relationships or anti-men.

It’s because unfortunately some of us have lived long enough to see how the story ends with guys like this who in the dating phase:. - ignore your discomfort . - do not respect your desires even after you flat said no about something important  - act like big milestones like a proposal are only about them and what they want (because everybody else they hurt by acting selfish should just get over it).

- Give you the silent treatment, stonewall you or blame you when you stand up for what’s right.. This behavior will only get worse after marriage. I know you’re young, so you think you know him better than some internet randos, but if you ignore this now you will only end up paying a bigger price later.

excel_pager_420 − You need to pull the uno reverse card. 'One of the qualities important for me in a life partner is consideration. Consideration for themselves, their loved ones, friends, family and general social decorum. Not only is proposing at someone else's wedding tacky as hell,

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it showed a lack of consideration for your best friend, his wife, their families, yourself and me. When I tried to speak to you about it you've been refusing to sit down and talk this out. I need you to give me space while I figure out if I can still see a future in you and this relationship.' NTA

Plus_Ad_9181 − If anything you stopped him from majorly embarrassing himself and you, and in return he ruined the night for both of you by throwing a massive tantrum. Does he not know basic wedding etiquette?. This guy may not be a keeper.

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blueleaf_in_the_wind − The odd thing is that he should be the one posting on reddit asking if he's the a**hole and then we'd all be telling him that he is.. And yet... This guy acted selfishly and childishly after he was already told by THE BRIDE HERSELF and you,

his girlfriend, to not do it before the event.. And then he does anyway and pouts like a four-year-old when he was rightfully shut down.. Tell him to get over it. He would have looked like an a**hole. He still kind of does.. You are a good girlfriend with a good heart. He's lucky.

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These Redditors don’t hold back, but do their insights hit the mark? Was stopping the proposal a hero move or a relationship fumble?

This story sparkles with the drama of love tested by a poorly timed proposal. The woman’s stand to protect her friends’ wedding day clashed with her boyfriend’s hurt pride, leaving their future uncertain. Was she right to prioritize etiquette over his gesture, or should she have let it slide? What would you do in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this wedding-day whirlwind!

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