AITA for telling my brother he can’t raise his child in my house?

Imagine sinking every penny you’ve saved since your teens into a dream home, a sanctuary where you can kick back, crank up the video games, and live life on your terms. For one 27-year-old homeowner, that dream came true—until his brother and sister-in-law moved in, rent-free, to save cash. Now, with a baby on the way, the house is about to get a lot noisier, and he’s drawing a line in the sand. Is he wrong to want his space back?

This Reddit tale is a rollercoaster of family loyalty, personal boundaries, and the chaos a newborn can bring. The original poster (OP) loves his brother but isn’t ready to trade his gaming haven for a nursery. As tensions rise, we’re left wondering: can you put your own dreams first when family needs you? Let’s dive into this domestic drama.

‘AITA for telling my brother he can’t raise his child in my house?’

A young man’s hard-earned home becomes a temporary haven for his brother’s family, but a new baby threatens to change the vibe. Here’s the story, straight from Reddit:

I (27M) have had dreams of being a homeowner for as long as I can remember. I actually started saving for a house since I was 18. I bought a 3/2 house 3 years ago and while it's not the best house I am beyond blessed to own my own house and homeownership is everything I always hoped it would be.

To be able to come home and have everything exactly where I left it, to be able to play video games all day and have no one tell me otherwise, it feels like I am free and in control of my own life which is all I've always ever wanted. About a year ago my older brother (36M) and his wife (30f) asked to move in with me because while they can afford rent they do not want to pay $2000 a month for an apartment.

While I did not want them here I reluctantly agreed because I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have 2 empty rooms in my house knowing he would let me live with him if I had ever asked and I was also fortunate enough to have family to live with while I was saving to buy my hosue.

I do not charge them any rent or ask for anything, but they give me around $400 a month to help out. My brother and his wife had been trying to conceive a child for a long time and are finally successful in doing so. They are expecting in a few months. While I am extremely happy for them I also do not want them living with me.

I did not buy my house for them, I bought it for me. I did not sign up for having my living room filled with baby toys and having my gaming room turned into a kid's bedroom. I did not sign up for my fridge being full of milk for a kid that isn't mine. This leads to today where I have asked them to move out before the birth of their child.

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They were both extremely offended and hurt that I told them this. My family also seems to think it is wrong of me to ask them to find their own place when they are expecting a child.. AITA for asking my brother to move out?
This homeowner’s dilemma is a classic clash of generosity versus personal space. The OP’s been a saint, letting his brother and sister-in-law live rent-free, but a baby changes the game—think midnight cries and toys underfoot. Is he wrong to reclaim his home?

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes in a Psychology Today article, “Boundaries in family dynamics are essential for maintaining individual well-being and mutual respect” (Source). The OP’s decision to ask his brother to move out reflects a need to protect his sanctuary, especially since the couple can afford rent but chose not to pay it. Their assumption that they could stay indefinitely, even with a baby, overlooks the OP’s autonomy.

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This ties into a broader issue: family entitlement. A 2022 Pew Research study found 43% of young adults live with family to save money, but this can strain relationships when boundaries aren’t set (Source). The brother’s hurt feelings are valid, but planning a family without securing housing suggests poor foresight.

Gottman advises, “Clear communication prevents resentment.” The OP could’ve set expectations earlier, like a move-out timeline. Now, he might offer a firm deadline with support, like helping them find a place.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer BBQ, and they’re serving up some real talk on this family feud. Here’s what the community had to say:

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SpareImagination132 − NTA, your home is your sanctuary. You have been generous to let them live with you and save money for their own place. A baby completely changes the everything in the house. They are loud, will have to eventually baby proof, parents will tell you to be quiet and not wake the baby, etc..

You could have given them a warning that if they had a baby they would have to move out. But it is your home and you have every right to control what happens in your home. It somewhat sounds like they are planning to spend years living with you. I wouldn’t want a baby invading my space.

It is kinda disrespectful of them to just assume you would be okay with them having a baby. Plus they shouldn’t have been trying to have a baby when they don’t have their own roof over their heads. Plus if people are upset with you asking them to leave, then those people should house the soon to be family of 3.

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Sloppypoopypoppy − NTA. `I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have 2 empty rooms in my house knowing he would let me live with him if I had ever asked`

You absolutely can. You were very kind to take them in in the first place - if you didn’t have your own place, what was their plan, exactly?. Their poor planning is not your fault, or your problem.. 9 months is plenty of time to find somewhere.

SadFlatworm1436 − NTA they’ve had the ability to save $1600 per month since you let them move in so they should be in a good place to secure their own place. This is your home…not theirs. If your family are so upset let them open their doors.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You have been more than generous to them and they should have had time to build up savings. Did they really think this arrangement would be permanent? 'My family also seems to think it is wrong of me to ask them to find their own place when they are expecting a child.' Guess what? Mature people usually have housing arranged before starting a family.

ForeverNugu − NTA - It's not like they couldn't afford to live on their own. They just didn't want to fork over that much money. Hopefully they saved up all that cash that you allowed them to not have to pay in rent. And ultimately, they're not your responsibility. They shouldn't have been trying for a kid if they couldn't afford to support themselves.

ExpressionMundane244 − they can afford rent they do not want to pay $2000 a month for an apartment.. This. Your first mistake was accepting their request knowing this.. They dont want to pay rent? Neither do I and still have to do it!

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Put them out soon! If not, the baby will be born and they will guilt trip you and you will be living in a house with a a crying baby 24/7. Soon, this house will be theirs and you will only be the guy who pays for almost everything!. The rest of the family think you are wrong, well they can host them if they want.. Give them a deadline! Dont let them stay longer tha, that!. NTA.

Floydfan − NTA. Where does the sponging stop. Are you to provide them housing for the rest of their lives? Their child/children’s lives? In perpetuity?? They should be looking to get their own place before adding to your burden of other people. For those here asking if you said anything about this before they moved in, I ask did they tell you they were going to expand their family?. Where does that stop? 1 kid. 2? 3? 15?

[Reddit User] − This seems a light version of other sub without all the narc parents telling their son to give up a house to his brother, wife and kids. NTA, but you are dumb. Your family will gang up on you and asking you to give your house for free evil laughs hahahah. Be ready to go NC with the rest of your family and be blamed for your brother fk ups.

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srslyeffedmind − You’re an AH to yourself. Check eviction laws where you live because you probably need to follow them. If they’ve been saving $1600/mo in rent living with you they should be able to get a place.

In the future don’t let anyone move in with you without a signed agreement and collecting a fixed amount of rent - even if it’s a very low amount because you’re helping them. NTA for wanting them to move out but you very well may have bigger issues to deal with

Responsible_Diver140 − Why would they have a child if they can’t afford rent? 😒

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These Reddit takes are spicy, but do they nail the heart of the issue?

This story of a dream home turned family crash pad shows how fast generosity can spark conflict. The OP’s heart was open, but his house isn’t a free hotel—especially with a baby on board. Have you ever had to set boundaries with family crashing your space? Share your thoughts or stories below—what would you do if your home was about to become a nursery?

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