AITA for splitting chores between my daughters equally?
In a bustling household, where dishes pile up and laundry looms, a father’s quest for “equality” turns the home into a battleground. With one daughter, a 23-year-old lounging post-college, and another, a 15-year-old juggling school and piano, his decision to split chores evenly ignites a firestorm. His wife, caught in the crossfire, calls foul, accusing him of coddling the older daughter while overburdening the younger.
The air crackles with tension as fairness becomes a four-letter word. Readers feel the sting of Hannah’s frustration, her schedule stretched thin, while Sadie’s Netflix marathons fuel the family divide. This story, raw with clashing priorities, pulls us into a debate about equity versus equality, where a chore list reveals deeper cracks in family harmony.
‘AITA for splitting chores between my daughters equally?’
Dividing chores in a household can feel like splitting a pizza—everyone wants a fair slice, but not all slices are equal. The father’s insistence on identical chore lists for his daughters, despite their vastly different responsibilities, misses the mark on fairness. Sadie, 23 and jobless, has time to spare, while Hannah, 15, juggles school, piano, and therapy. The wife’s objection highlights a key distinction: equality isn’t equity.
A 2021 study from the Institute for Family Studies found that 62% of teens with household chores report better time-management skills, but overloading them risks stress (Institute for Family Studies). Hannah’s packed schedule demands lighter duties, while Sadie’s idle days call for more. The father’s low blow about his wife favoring her biological daughter only deepens the rift, ignoring Sadie’s need for accountability.
Family therapist Dr. Becky Kennedy advises, “Fairness means meeting each child’s needs, not treating them the same” (Good Inside). The father could adjust chores based on time availability—Sadie taking the lion’s share, Hannah a lighter load. Couples counseling might help him and his wife align on parenting
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit’s posse rolled in with pitchforks and wisdom, calling out the father’s misstep while urging fairness over rigid equality. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:
![[Reddit User] − YTA. You say you’re trying to establish equality but all you’re doing is punishing Hannah for Sadie’s laziness. You tell your wife she’s favouring her daughter, what do you think you’re doing.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/284647cm1-01.png)
![DevilsAbicus − You need equity in your home, not equality. YTA. [equity vs equality ]](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/284647cm1-12.png)
These Redditors didn’t hold back, slamming the father for punishing Hannah’s diligence to appease Sadie’s complaints. But do their YTA verdicts oversimplify the dad’s intent? One thing’s clear: this chore saga has everyone debating what’s truly fair in a family.
This chore list clash reveals how “equal” can feel anything but fair. The father’s push for identical duties ignored Hannah’s packed life and Sadie’s idle one, splitting the family into warring camps. Reddit’s near-unanimous call for equity over equality begs the question: how do you divvy up responsibilities when lives differ so starkly? Share your thoughts and experiences on balancing household duties below.
