AITA for spending money I saved for a trip with my dad when he wanted to include his stepdaughter?

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Picture a 17-year-old, diligently saving every penny for a spooky Halloween weekend with her dad, dreaming of haunted houses and shared laughs. The plan was simple: just the two of them, a rare chance to reconnect. But when her dad tossed in an unexpected plus-one—his stepdaughter—the dream fizzled. Hurt and frustrated, she spent her hard-earned cash elsewhere, leaving her dad, his wife, and stepdaughter reeling. What was meant to be a bonding moment turned into a Reddit-fueled family showdown.

This tale of a teen’s dashed hopes strikes a chord with anyone who’s craved one-on-one time with a parent, only to feel sidelined. It’s a relatable tug-of-war between personal boundaries and blended family expectations, leaving readers wondering: was she wrong to pull the plug, or was her dad the one who missed the mark?

‘AITA for spending money I saved for a trip with my dad when he wanted to include his stepdaughter?’

Back in February I (17f) asked my dad if we could take a weekend trip for Halloween to this haunted house event the two of us have talked about going to before. He said he wasn't sure he could afford it but if I saved enough money we could go (he was going to cover some of it too).

I actually saved up the money by early September and told him as much. He then brought up the subject about how cool it would be to include his stepdaughter (14) and it would be a nice bonding trip for all three of us. He asked me how I felt about that and I told him I didn't want to include her, I wanted it to be just the two of us.

He asked why and I told him we never do stuff just the two of us anymore and I want that time with him. He said I get plenty of time with his wife. I said she's not him. That I wanted more time for him and me, not everyone together, not me and his wife or me and his stepdaughter. He told me okay it could be just us.

Then his wife blabbed because he didn't tell her I had said no. Then his stepdaughter wanted to go and he told me he couldn't say no to her after that. So I told him to forget it. I bought myself some stuff with the money I had saved. This upset my dad and his wife and his stepdaughter.

My dad and his wife told me I responded like a child instead of an almost adult. His stepdaughter said I was so mean, why would I do that, she was looking forward to spending the weekend with us at the haunted house. I told my dad I saved it for the two of us to go alone.

But he has made it clear he doesn't want that time with just me anymore and since that's how he feels I am sick and tired of time with his family. That he shouldn't worry because I will be gone soon and he can spend all the time he wants to with them and the childish and mean one won't be living here in a few months.

He asked why I couldn't just wait and do something else with him. Why spend the money. Why break the plans like that. It's not the first time I have tried to do something with him and he automatically involved everyone or just his stepdaughter in it.

And I even told him I missed hanging out just him and me. It doesn't do s**t. I know his wife is upset because her daughter is hurt because she knows how badly I didn't want her there and she's also not going now.. AITA here?

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Planning a special trip with a parent can feel like a lifeline for a teen craving connection, but this Reddit user’s story shows how quickly those plans can unravel. The teen wanted a rare moment alone with her dad; he saw it as a chance to blend his new family. Her decision to spend the money elsewhere was less about spite and more about reclaiming control after feeling dismissed.

Blended families often face this tension. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 60% of teens in stepfamilies report feeling overlooked when step-siblings are prioritized. The teen’s frustration is valid—she voiced her need for exclusive time, but her dad’s pivot to include his stepdaughter felt like a betrayal. Meanwhile, his attempt to keep the peace shows the tightrope parents walk in blended households.

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Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, says, “Stepfamily relationships thrive when parents prioritize individual time with their biological children.” Here, the dad’s failure to honor his daughter’s boundary eroded trust. A better approach? He could have planned a separate outing for his stepdaughter, ensuring both girls felt valued. For solutions, experts suggest open dialogue: the teen could propose future one-on-one plans, while the dad should listen without deflecting.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s takes are as fiery as a haunted house scare—let’s see what they said!

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TeenagerFrmMars − NTA. You shouldn't be covering any of the costs of this trip at all and your dad and his wife are being assholes by downplaying your need for one on one time with your father.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Kids in all families are allowed to want one on one time with their parents. It is good and healthy and important. And it’s even more important in blended families. I’m sorry your dad reacted this way.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your dad was a serious a**hole here. To me, the worst part here is that you would have been partially financing her! If they can’t afford to go without you, a 17 year old with a (probably) part-time job, then that is their problem.

[Reddit User] − NTA.. You asked one thing. He couldn't do that. You weren't being childish. But they were being assholes for calling that and for not understanding that you're allowed to want some time alone with your father.. You saved the money. Made a plan. Were clear about the boundaries. And they s**t all over it.. I'm sorry.

Lt-shorts − NTA you saved up your money to spend some one on one time with your dad. Your dad is trying to keep the peace in his family but should have told your stepmother that this was a trip for you guys. Navigating blended families is a hard thing.

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worryaboutYOUhoe − NTA. You can’t invite other people on someone else’s dime, *especially* when they specifically stated the plans were exclusive when you first bring up that you want to invite other people. I’m assuming he lives with his stepdaughter? How is it he understands the importance of bonding with and including her, but can’t manage to spend one on one time with his own daughter?

Sheisty_Lawyer − NTA. You made it VERY clear you wanted it to be just the two of you and your dad agreed. You saved up your own money for it. Then your dad went and lost his backbone and tried to alter the plans YOU made that HE already agreed upon. This is the type of s**t that happens when you don't respect someone's wishes

especially after having expressed the reason why the plans were what they were. You made the plans, you are putting up the money (majority), so it's your decision. They don't wanna respect that, the trip gets scrapped. Now nobody wins. People will either learn to respect your time and wishes, or they will lose you. It's that simple.

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[Reddit User] − NTA.. 'He said he wasn't sure he could afford it but if I saved enough money we could go.' You did so and changed it up on you. This is between your father, his wife, and his wife's daughter. They overstepped plans you were making for daughter-father time. Placing blame on you for backing out due to their overstepping and forceful inclusion of his wife's daughter is not becoming of adults/parents.

Too many times as a kid I've seen a friend's remarried parent push or have a their new significant other push the step child on the other kid/kids. As an adult I've seen it happen with remarried friends. 99% of the time this forcing or push results in driving a wedge between the kids. When in fact if given time, it'd work out on its own.. Sorry you have to go through this.

justchillinghbu87 − He asked why I couldn't just wait and do something else with him. Why spend the money. Why would you wait for something that seemingly isn't going to happen? If your dad just invites his whole other family every time you two make one on one plans then why would it be any different next time.

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Its your money and you can spend it however you want. It honestly kinda sounds like he just wanted to use your money to take out his step daughter if he couldn't afford to do it himself. Sorry you're dealing with this OP.

StHeather − NTA and also sounds like you need a hug! It’s ok to want one on one time with your dad. You did a good job identifying the goal and saving up the money, and your dad let you down. If he is mad, it should be at himself, not you.

One idea is that if your dad and/or stepmom want to spring for the whole family including your stepsister and you, then go along with that. But don’t let them guilt you into feeling bad for wanting your needs met. Good luck! 👍🏻

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From calling the dad spineless to cheering the teen’s stand, these comments are a mixed bag. But do they nail the heart of the issue, or just fan the flames of family drama?

This teen’s story is a gut-punch reminder of how much kids crave their parents’ undivided attention, especially in blended families. Her dad’s push to include his stepdaughter wasn’t malicious, but it stung enough for her to ditch the plan entirely. Who’s really at fault here? It’s a messy clash of loyalty, boundaries, and hurt feelings. Have you ever felt sidelined in a family moment? What would you do in this teen’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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