AITA for snapping at my brother cause he is mad at me for how I fed his kids for the 2 weeks I was looking after them?

In a lively suburban home, a pregnant woman stepped up to care for her brother’s three energetic kids for two weeks, only to face his ire over their “unhealthy” meals. Exhausted and budget-conscious, she fed them affordable dishes like mac and cheese alongside veggies, but her health-focused brother wasn’t pleased.

His complaints about disrupting their diet led to a heated exchange, leaving family ties strained. This Reddit tale explores gratitude and family expectations. Was the woman wrong to snap at her brother’s criticism, or was his reaction ungrateful? Let’s dive into this sibling spat.

‘AITA for snapping at my brother cause he is mad at me for how I fed his kids for the 2 weeks I was looking after them?’

For the past 2 and a half weeks I was looking after my brother's kids, they are 9, 7 and 5 and I love all three of those brats so much. He was going back to work and his wife had to go back to work, since they aren't in school they needed to be with someone. I agreed to look after them every day they needed me to and it ended up practically living with me for about 2 weeks.

I am pregnant right now so its not the easiest for me to move around right now. My brother and sister-in-law are very active and sporty people, they go on runs with the kids daily, have all the kids playing sports and have these weird healthy dinners. Me and my BF is very athletic too but I can't really move and he's exhausted from work most days.

The kids play in my back and front yard most days (I have a lot of grass). I am also not the richest so the healthy stuff he likes them to eat were replaced with mac and cheese, hotdogs, and burgers. I also had a veggies side for them to eat so they did get veggies too.

After the 2 weeks of staying with me and my brother got some time off they went to go live back when them, and I LOVE my nieces and nephew don't get me wrong but I was exhausted from how hyper they can be (pretty sure the baby has something to do with that too). But I guess they have been fussy going back to healthier foods cause they got used to burgers, hotdogs and mac and cheese.

My brother called me pretty upset that I fed them 'unhealthy foods', I was pretty annoyed too cause not only did I look after his kids for free for 2 weeks AND drive them a full hour to his house and he wants to get upset at me? I told him to relax and that they are kids, I wasn't about to spend hundreds on healthy food just for them.

He told me I completely messed up their diet and that I'm 'unresponsible'. (this is where I maybe TA) I said 'I did the best I could with them and they are fine. Next time call up someone else to watch them cause I'm not dealing with your ungrateful ass again' and then I hung up.

My sister texted me a couple hours later asking if everything is alright between us and when I told her the full story she's on my brother's side saying that I should know that he's a health freak and what I fed them was wrong. AITA?

EDIT:I made other dishes for the kids like clam chowder, soup, chili, casserole, and ramen. Just my brother was upset about the junk food.

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Family favors can spark tension when expectations aren’t aligned, and this woman’s clash with her brother highlights the strain of unappreciated efforts. Her brother’s criticism ignored her generosity in providing free childcare while pregnant, and his focus on diet over gratitude feels entitled. The inclusion of varied dishes like soups shows she made an effort within her means.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Gratitude is key to maintaining family harmony during stressful favors”. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found 35% of sibling conflicts arise from misaligned expectations during caregiving. The brother could have provided food or funds to meet his standards.

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Clear communication about dietary needs beforehand or offering to cover costs could prevent future disputes. Family mediation might help mend ties.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s response was a fiery mix of support and shade, with users calling out the brother’s attitude. Here’s what they said:

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Fleetdancer - NTA and holy crap is he an ungrateful asshat. Send him the bill for your gas and the food you bought for them. Also, figure out why you agreed to be taken advantage of the way you were. Are you too much of a people pleaser?

[Reddit User] - Did he give you money for food? Did he make his expectations on what you were supposed to feed them clear? Were you being paid for this?. Your brother sounds like a giant a**hole.. NTA.

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BatterSlut - NTA, they should have paid for their kids to eat while they were with you or packed food for them. Expecting you to pay for their meals to begin with is unreasonable, and expecting you to pay for expensive meals is even worse.

lightwoodorchestra - NTA. What an ungrateful jerk. If he wants his kids to eat specific food, he can buy it, prepare it and deliver it to you. Imagine dumping your kids on your pregnant sister for two weeks then whining that she didn't feed them your preferred type of food.

cannabisqveen - NTA if he has such a strict diet with his children then I'm sure he wouldnt mind paying more to send those expensive foods he prefers to your house when he wants you to baby sit. Otherwise its crazy to expect you to change up your entire pantry to accommodate their diets. I'd understand if it was a medical thing or an allergy but based on your post it seems to just be a healthy lifestyle.

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Bambie-Rizzo - NTA. If he wanted specific food, he should’ve given you money to buy that food or send food with them. He’s gonna come crawling back once he can’t find a free sitter.

ChocolateChipShame - Pregnant and with Social Isolation going on? NTA. If he wants you to take care of them again AND adhere with he strict dietary plan HE has, then he has to send the pre-prepared food along with the children. They may be fussy now with the food, but wait until they become teenagers.

q1001q - INFO: Did your brother give you any money to feed his children for 2 weeks? And was there previous talk about what he expected they would eat for lunch?

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cpl5809 - NTA. You were very kind to watch them for free but if he wanted them to follow a certain diet he should have (a) made that clear and (b) paid for the food.

NachosPrecarioso - NTA and his ungrateful ass can find someone else to watch his damn kids next time.

These Redditors didn’t hold back, but do their takes on gratitude and entitlement hit the mark?

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This story of a pregnant woman’s childcare favor turning into a diet dispute shows how quickly gratitude can sour. Her snap at her brother defended her efforts, but left family bonds frayed. What would you do if a sibling criticized your free help over picky preferences? Share your thoughts or family stories—how do you navigate ungrateful relatives?

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