AITA for snapping at a colleague that tried to one up my friend’s death?
In a bustling office where coffee cups clink and keyboards hum, a woman’s world crumbles with the sudden loss of a dear friend. Still reeling from the shock, she steps into work, only to have her grief interrupted by a colleague’s tone-deaf tale. Cheryl, the office’s notorious one-upper, swerves the conversation to a local tragedy, leaving raw emotions in the dust. This isn’t just about workplace chatter—it’s a clash of sensitivity and self-absorption.
The sting of loss meets the sting of insensitivity in this gripping tale. With colleagues split on whether the grieving woman’s sharp retort was justified, the story pulls readers into a whirlwind of empathy, frustration, and the unspoken rules of mourning. It’s a vivid snapshot of how grief can collide with everyday interactions, sparking a debate about when to speak and when to listen.
‘AITA for snapping at a colleague that tried to one up my friend’s death?’
Navigating grief in the workplace is tricky, especially when colleagues miss the mark on empathy. Dr. Susan David, a psychologist and author, emphasizes in her work with Harvard Business Review that “empathy in conversations requires presence, not competition.” Cheryl’s attempt to pivot from the OP’s loss to another tragedy reflects a lack of emotional attunement, escalating the OP’s distress. While Cheryl may not have meant harm, her timing was jarring.
The OP’s snap was a raw response to grief compounded by insensitivity. A 2023 study in Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that 70% of employees feel unsupported when grieving at work, often due to colleagues’ awkward responses. Cheryl’s one-upping, whether intentional or not, shifted focus from the OP’s pain, amplifying her frustration.
Dr. David suggests, “Active listening is key to supporting grief.” Cheryl could have offered condolences or simply listened, rather than redirecting the conversation. For the OP, addressing Cheryl calmly later—perhaps explaining how her actions felt—could foster understanding. Workplace training on empathy, like resources from Mindful, can help colleagues navigate such moments. This story highlights a broader issue: workplaces need better tools for supporting grief. Readers can reflect on how to balance empathy and awareness in their own interactions.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
The Reddit crowd rolled in like a storm, tossing out support and witty jabs at Cheryl’s misstep. It’s like a virtual watercooler where everyone’s got a take and no one’s holding back. Here’s what they had to say:
![[Reddit User] − Nta. Sounds annoying frankly. On that note, I recently learned that people with ADHD can tend to use examples of similar things happening to try and relate in the conversation. I learned this because I have ADHD and had a tendency to do this… not to one-up but because it’s what I instinctively did.. It’s good you called her out because now she can show some awareness around doing it next time.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/229844cm-02.png)
These Redditors backed the OP’s outburst, calling Cheryl’s behavior a masterclass in missing the point. Some wondered if ADHD or autism played a role, but most agreed her timing was off. Do these spicy opinions nail the issue, or are they just piling on the shade?
This story of a grieving woman and an oblivious colleague shines a light on the delicate dance of workplace empathy. The OP’s sharp words were a cry for space to mourn, while Cheryl’s fumble shows how easily grief can be sidelined. It’s a reminder to listen before leaping into our own stories. Have you ever faced a tone-deaf response to your pain? Share your thoughts below!
