AITA for skipping out on my in laws visiting to go camping with my other son?

A father’s heart swells as he plans a special birthday camping trip with his 12-year-old son, newly welcomed into his life after years apart, only to face his wife’s dismay when her parents announce a last-minute visit. Choosing to keep his promise to his son, he sparks a family rift, with his wife feeling sidelined and her parents’ disapproval echoing in their home.

This isn’t just a scheduling snag—it’s a tug-of-war between new family bonds and old expectations. His commitment to his son wins Reddit’s praise, but his wife’s hurt lingers. Like a campfire flickering under tense stars, the story probes loyalty, blended families, and the weight of keeping promises.

AITA for skipping out on my in laws visiting to go camping with my other son?’

My wife and I have been married for over a decade. We have 2 boys (9 and 6). A year ago i met my eldest son Liam (12), whom I previously didn’t know about thanks to my ex wanting to keep me from him. It took a lot of time to adjust because I wanted to be part of my son’s life, then taking time with my family to adjust to this too.

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Both my boys enjoy spending time with him now and he’s staying with us most weekends. My wife was shocked and we all have been doing some family therapy. She treats Liam with respect (he does too) and treats him like the rest of the kids minus trying to parent him. A few months ago Liam found out about this tradition I do with each of my boys on their birthdays.

Where we spend some one on one time together camping for a couple days. And I had asked him if he’d like to do that at some point, he said yes, then when his birthday was coming up he asked me if we could still do that and I promised him he would. This would be the first birthday I get to spend with him.

Then we found out last week my in laws were coming to town to visit last minute. I already had these plans with Liam which my wife knew about but she thought I’d reschedule the trip so that both of us could host them. But since I already made a promise to Liam we’d go camping on his birthday, she’s been at me for not wanting to cancel it.

We did argue about it, she thinks it would be extremely rude to avoid seeing her parents when they come to see us too not just the kids. And then I argued we can see her parents anytime but this is a special. For one it’s my son’s birthday and our first one together. These plans we had made weeks prior to them announcing their visit.

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Ever since I got back I’ve heard it not only from my MIL that my wife was upset the entire visit (she told them what happened) but my wife says I choose my eldest over spending family time not just with her parents but our kids too.

Around the kids she acts normal but when it’s just us she’s more serious and all she tells me is her feelings are hurt for leaving after she asked me to stay. This isn’t like I’m gonna all the time spending it with my son. This is a tradition I’ve done with all my kids and wanted to make him part of it too. AITA?

The father’s choice to honor his camping promise to Liam was a commendable act of building trust with a son he’s only recently known, especially for their first shared birthday. His wife’s expectation to cancel for her parents’ unplanned visit, however, reflects underlying tension, possibly insecurity about Liam’s integration, which her serious demeanor suggests she’s struggling to process.

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A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 55% of stepfamilies face conflicts over prioritizing time with biological versus stepchildren, often requiring open communication to resolve (APA, 2023). Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Blended families thrive when spouses validate each other’s parental commitments without forcing choices” (StepfamilyResources.com). The wife’s push to reschedule, despite knowing the plans, and her parents’ last-minute visit, show poor timing, not malice, but her hurt feelings need addressing.

The father’s argument that in-laws can visit anytime holds weight, but dismissing his wife’s feelings risks escalation. Her normalcy around the kids but coldness privately signals unresolved resentment, possibly testing his loyalty, as Reddit suggests. The in-laws’ judgment, fueled by her disclosure, complicates matters.

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He should initiate a calm talk, ideally with their therapist, to explore her feelings about Liam and set boundaries for in-law visits (PsychologyToday.com). Planning a future family event with her parents could ease tensions. Reaffirming his commitment to all his children, including Liam’s unique place, can rebuild trust.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s firing up with bold takes on this family face-off, cheering the dad and tossing shade at the timing—get ready for the spark!

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thirdtryisthecharm - NTA. The plans with Liam predated the visit. If the in-laws wanted time with you, they should have asked when it was a good time to visit the whole family.

redcore4 - NTA - you need to have a serious conversation with your wife, possibly with your therapist present (minus the kids) about her real feelings towards finding out she has a stepson. It sounds like she’s trying to be accepting but it’s just more of a struggle for her than she wants you to know.

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It’s all very well saying she wants you to be good hosts to your parents but it’s not good etiquette to insist on arriving last-minute and causing pre-existing plans to be rearranged. It sounds like your wife has agreed to this visit from her parents partly because she’s been feeling insecure about the time you’re giving to your newly-found oldest son,

and she wants to test your loyalties, and is now upset because that test didn’t go her way (because it’s objectively mean to deny a kid his birthday treat to test your partner). Her feelings on this aren’t what makes her the a**hole (her insecurity is natural),

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but trying to test and manipulate you in this way at your son’s expense rather than just talking to you about how she feels a little rejected in this scenario and looking for ways you both can make her feel more secure and trusting is a somewhat a**hole-ish move.

Front_World205 - NTA - not at all. your son will alway remember this. this is an amazing bonding activities. the in law can wait.

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sponch_cake - You should ask your wife: if it was one of your other two boys bday camping trip, would she expect you to skip it for her in laws, or would she understand that it is a special birthday tradition for you to uphold? NTA, and it sounds like your wife and her folks are trying to claim they deserve to dictate your relationship/time because they've known you longer.

That_Contribution720 - NTA. ​. YOur wife is an AH.. ​'Then we found out last week my in laws were coming to town to visit last minute.' ... And you have no boundaries. Why would yu allow that? And why cancel plans for it? - The reasonable approach would be to tell them: Please ask to be invited.. ​. YOur kid certainly is more important than your AH inlaws.

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OrcEight - NTA. This date can’t be moved as it is your oldest sons birthday and this is the first camping trip with this son You can have a visit with your in-laws anytime and they can visit with your wife and other sons this time.

[Reddit User] - NTA. It has nothing to do with who is more important— you had the plans with your son before the plans with your in-laws, and that’s what matters.

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ShibeDogeBork - NTA. But your wife and inlaws are. I think you and your wife need couples counseling. I get the feeling she hasn't accepted your son as much as she claims. Your ex hid your son from you. You and Liam are innocent in this and you are doing right by him by being a father.

Keziah_70 - Of course NTA. You promised your son. He can’t move his birthday. Your wife and in laws are being unreasonable and hoping their sulking will dissuade you in the future. Don’t be.

MissionRevolution306 - NTA. He is family, you weren’t choosing him over family time, he is part of family time. I would really watch her when she’s around your eldest, it sounds like she’s not made peace with all of this.

These are Reddit’s fiercest opinions, but do they light the full path to family harmony?

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This tale of a birthday campout and a spurned in-law visit is a gripping lesson in juggling new bonds with old ties. Reddit backs the father’s promise to his son, urging his wife to face her insecurities. It’s a stark reminder that family grows through trust, not tests. How would you handle a spouse’s push to sideline a child’s milestone? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this blended family blaze!

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