AITA for skipping my uncle’s wedding after his fiancée shamed my body?

Jonathan Hours
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A sparkly engagement ring and wedding plans should spell joy, but for a 16-year-old Reddit user, her uncle’s fiancée turned the celebration sour. Olivia’s blunt demand that the teen lose weight to join the wedding party—lest she “ruin” photos—stung deep. When the OP, already on her own weight-loss journey, faced Olivia’s attempt to claim credit for her success, she drew a line: no wedding party, no wedding attendance.

This AITA post serves up a raw tale of body shaming and family fallout. The OP’s bold stand led to cousins rallying behind her, but her mom’s siding with Olivia added salt to the wound. Was her refusal to play along dramatic or deserved? Let’s unpack this wedding drama, where personal boundaries clash with family expectations.

‘AITA For Skipping My Uncle’s Wedding After His Fiancée Shamed My Body?’

What started as a wedding invitation turned into a battle over body image and respect. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

I'm 16. My uncle Barry (35) is getting married to Olivia (31). They announced their engagement 18 months ago and the wedding is in a few of months. Apparantly uncle Barry wanted me to be in the wedding party and Olivia told me that I can't be unless I lose a good amount of weight because I'd ruin the pictures otherwise.

At that time I was a little on the heavier side but I was already losing weight (had lost about 30lbs). I didn't like what she said but I didn't care, I never asked to be in the wedding party anyway. I have since lost more (bmi 21), Olivia didn't know as they live in a different city.

She texted me asking if I've managed to lose some weight because she needed to know if she can include me or not. I didn't reply as I thought she was mean, and they were going to visit us the very next day. When Olivia saw me she told me she's so excited that I can be in her wedding party which sounded weird because she was the one coming up with the arbitrary exclusion rule.

Later that day she told me that she's happy that she could motivate me to lose weight and said it's a great feeling when you see how you've influenced someone to better their lives and she hopes that I get to influence someone this way too. At that point I figured she was probably a narcissist trying to take credit for my weight loss!

Anyway, I politely thanked her for the consideration but told her that I won't be part of the wedding party because she makes me uncomfortable and I don't enjoy being in her company. She seemed offended, but asked why? I said I'm just not comfortable. She said 'Barry wanted you there, not me and anyone in your position would've been thrilled, you're weird.'

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Later that day I decided to not participate in any wedding related activities at all because I didn't like how she treated me. So I said that in a text to my uncle and Olivia. Uncle Barry called me immediately asking me what's going on and I told him that I felt bullied by Olivia (both back then and now) and if we don't get along then what's the point of being there if it makes both of us uncomfortable.

When he asked for specifics I told him everything (both her ultimatum from last year and then now trying to take credit for it). Uncle Barry agreed she was wrong on both counts, but asked me to forgive her for him. I told him that he can't apologize on her behalf and after all of this I've lost all excitements so what's the point.

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Apparently uncle Barry and Olivia had a fight because he was upset, and Olivia called my mom telling her that I lied to uncle Barry that she mistreated me. Word of this has spread, and now my 3 other cousins have also said they won't participate in solidarity with me (I never asked them to do this) but Olivia accused me of organizing it anyway.

My mom has taken Olivia's side and believes I'm being too dramatic and I should apologize to her and just participate like a normal person would, and said that all this is my fault and I'm ruining my uncle's wedding.

This wedding drama exposes the sting of body shaming, especially when aimed at a teenager. Olivia’s ultimatum to the OP—lose weight or be excluded—reflects a toxic focus on appearance, while her attempt to take credit for the OP’s weight loss reeks of narcissism. The OP’s refusal to participate shows remarkable self-respect for her age.

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Dr. Charlotte Markey, a body image expert, states, “Body shaming, especially from family, can deeply impact self-esteem, particularly in teens” (Source). Olivia’s comments likely hit hard, given the OP’s youth and vulnerability. A 2022 study in Pediatrics found that 65% of teens facing weight-based criticism report lower self-confidence, often from family or close relations (Source).

This ties to broader issues of appearance-based judgment and family dynamics. Olivia’s behavior, unchecked by the OP’s mom, risks normalizing harmful standards. Advice: The OP should maintain her boundaries, calmly reiterating to her mom and uncle, “Olivia’s comments hurt me; I need space from her.” Therapy could help process family pressure. A family meeting, with cousins’ support, might clarify her stance.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit dove in with fierce support, dishing out spicy takes on this body-shaming wedding saga. Here’s what the community had to say about the OP’s stand:

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CaptainJeff − NTA.. She is for insisting you lose weight to join a family wedding party. That's awful. And good for you on taking healthy actions FOR YOU and not for anyone else, who is so selfish that they claim your own accomplishments as their own.

noname_with_bacon − NTA and shame on your mother for telling you otherwise.

AccessibleBeige − NTA. If you were 26 instead of 16, no one in your family would be treating you this way, Olivia included. She thinks she can push you around because you're a kid, and your mother is probably trying to make you act like nothing is wrong because she thinks your behavior reflects badly on her as a parent.

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But she should be thinking the exact opposite, that she has done well in teaching you to stick up for yourself rather than be a doormat to keep other people happy. Stick to your guns on this. Your parents may in the end require you to attend, but you do not have to be in the wedding party, and you don't have to pretend like everything is okay when it isn't.

Also if Olivia tries taking credit for 'motivating' you to lose weight again, say LOUDLY for anyone to overhear, 'You DID NOT shame me into losing weight, Olivia. I just started eating better and grew some and it came off naturally, so stop taking credit for things that have nothing to do with you.'

arrowsdeluxe − NTA, oh and I hope he breaks off the engagement bc that’s foul she’s treating her fiancés niece like that. go out and eat a nice meal on their wedding day if it’s still happening, you deserve the best!!

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squeakylittlecat − NTA. And your mom should be on your side. Kudos to your uncle for being on your side. He sounds wonderful!

stacity − NTA. It’s your uncle’s funeral not yours.. Remain firm on your decision.

salmonberrycreek − NTA. It is not Olivia's responsibility nor place to try to regulate the weight of someone else's minor child. Completely innapropriate for her to now try and take credit for your hard work.

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The fact that she didn't want someone heavier in her wedding pictures because it would 'ruin' them just speaks to the kind of person she is. She's made her own bed, now time for her to lay in it. And shame on your mother for siding with her.

KnitStitched − NTA She is totally out of line and seemingly not remorseful for how she's treated you. As for you causing 'huge family trauma', I call b**lshit. You didn't create this situation, bigoted Olivia did. Furthermore, you're not in control of how other people react so don't see how you can be held accountable for your cousins' decisions.

Lastatt45b − NTA. F her and her b**lshit. You're losing weight for your own well being and don't ever let anyone take credit for your accomplishments. And your mother is just reinforcing the stupidity your future aunt is trying to project.

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It's nice to see some of your family has your back and fully supports you and your feelings in this matter. And NEVER even consider apologizing to her and her s**tty attitude until she apologizes to you for shaming you in the past and thinking she played any role in your weight loss journey.

Rhuthbarb − NTA. I'm impressed that you're able to see how unacceptable her comments are. I'm impressed that your Uncle believed you and called Olivia out. I'm impressed your cousins also have your back.. Why, of all people, doesn't your mother believe you? That's really strange and quite sad.

These Reddit roasts torch Olivia’s cruelty, but do they miss any nuances? Is the OP’s boycott a power move or a teen’s rebellion gone too far?

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This wedding tale weaves a thorny mix of body shaming, family loyalty, and a teen’s fierce stand. The OP’s refusal to bow to Olivia’s toxic demands sparked a family rift, with cousins in her corner but her mom playing for the other team. Reddit cheers her on, but what’s your verdict? Have you ever faced judgment over your appearance? Would you skip a family event to stand your ground? Spill your thoughts below and keep the convo rolling!

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