AITA for showing my husband the text his mom sent me and causing her to be disowned?

A new mom, already struggling with a strained relationship with her mother-in-law (MIL), received a scathing text that pushed her to the edge. Showing it to her husband unleashed a firestorm—leading to a confrontation, a disownment, and a hospital visit. Now, the family points fingers, leaving her grappling with guilt.

This Reddit tale dives into the chaos of toxic in-laws and loyalty tests. Was sharing the text a necessary stand, or did it fan the flames too far? Let’s unpack this family explosion.

‘AITA for showing my husband the text his mom sent me and causing her to be disowned?’

To start me and my mother in law have never gotten along. She hates my guts and can be oversensitive often times. I tried not to give her the wrong impression about me but we just don't like each other. Sunday, I was feeling sick (I'm a new mom btw) and couldn't eat what she cooked for dinner and she seemeed to take it personal.

She sent me a private message of what seemed to be her final straw with my behavior and it stated the following: 'Oh yes I know and feel your passive aggressive vibe. You keep pretending to be sick so you won't have to eat what I cook? What? You think my cooking is disgusting? You think I'm unhigynec?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR? Apologies I forgot you're a new mom and can't be bothered to even get your hair brushed. You finally trapped our son and now want to use the baby as a pawn.I don’t like the fact you're my grandchild's mother.

I don’t think I'll ever come to terms with it because you bore him. But I’ll pretend. Pretend I don’t know my son's been having chats with his ex every chance he gets. Be mean to his mommy. Me. And you’ll see how far that gets you. Oh and when I watch your shitbeast dog it stays chained to a garage day and night until a half hour before you arrive.

It stinks up my house you know same with your hair and clothes'. My mind was blown and my gut reaction was to immediately go to my husband and show him what his mom sent and he didn't take it well. He tried calling her but she didn't respond. It was 11pm and he decided to drive to his parents house and pick a fight with her about the text.

According to my sister in law #1 who witnessed it he yelled at his mother and berated her and caller her names then disowned her which shocked everyone in the house. My mother in law is diabetic she fainted on the spot and my husband didn't stop he just walked out of there while his family were yelling at him.

I got several calls and texts from them claiming I just caused irreparable damage in my husband's relationship with his mother, jeopardized her health because she was taken to the hospital and worsthe of all making my husband disown her over what? A dinner that i could've gotten a few bites of? A simple misunderstanding? They accused me of causing this shitshow and turning my husband on his own mother and disowning her like that.

Sister in law #3 berated me for sharing the text with my husband saying I should've confronted my mother in law alone instead of escalating the situation. She said I'm responsible for whatever happens next and have to fix the problem I created. I feel awful overall and so guilty since she's at the hospital and the family are feeling tense. My husband is avoiding me.AITA?

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Family dynamics can turn volatile when toxic behavior goes unchecked, and this MIL’s text—laden with insults, animal cruelty admissions, and manipulative jabs—crossed serious boundaries. Showing the text to her husband was a natural response to betrayal; his reaction, while intense, reflects his protective instincts. The family’s blame on the wife, however, reeks of scapegoating.

Dr. Lindsay Gibson, a psychologist specializing in toxic families, notes, “Revealing abusive behavior isn’t escalation—it’s accountability. The real issue is the MIL’s actions, not the wife’s response.” A 2023 American Psychological Association study found 48% of new parents face in-law conflicts, with 25% citing verbal hostility as a trigger. The MIL’s fainting, potentially exaggerated, shouldn’t overshadow her cruelty.

This reflects broader issues of emotional manipulation. Dr. Gibson advises, “Protect your peace—distance from toxicity, and let the instigator face consequences.” The wife’s guilt is misplaced; her husband’s stance shows loyalty.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s family warriors brought fierce clarity to the mess. Here’s what they had to say:

Foreign_Negotiation7 - NTA, you had to show that message to your husband. That was a very disturbing text. I also find it weird that she fainted, my son is diabetic and he has never fainted from being confronted.

Cat_Sicario_2601 - NTA rule number one with toxic families let the related partner handle the own family. You did the right thing by showing him the text and not escalate the matter by yourself. And it was his decision how to react. Mommy dearest was so shocked that her son would chose to defend you she probably fainted out of shock. Edit: thank you all for all the upvotes and awards

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Feeling-Chemist-9394 - I got several calls and texts from them claiming I just caused irreparable damage in my husband's relationship with his mother. Oh, no... You didn't cause that damage and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your MIL caused all that pain and decided that sending a message to purposely hurt you was the way to go.

She probably expected you to be so hurt by that message, especially the part where she threw in about your husband chatting with his ex, that you would end up fighting with him. Instead, you showed him and he got to see just how spiteful MIL is towards you.

It's sad she is in hospital though, but that's not your fault either. Also, being a new mum is f**king *hard!* You're already dealing with enough stress as it is, you don't need this. Good luck and congrats on the new bub!

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xopranaut - ## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE hkl5fcj

PingPongProfessor - OP -- **DANGER DANGER DANGER** -- read this top-level comment by u/xopranaut. Odds are that her claim that she tortures your pet to punish you is absolutely true, and a real insight into her character. and regardless of what reconciliation may take place in the future,

**do not EVER leave your children alone in the care of this woman for a single instant**. ETA perhaps I should have said '*pretended* reconciliation', because I doubt that your MIL will ever truly change the toxic h**red she clearly feels.

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Charlie_Parkers_Mood - NTA. Your MIL thought she could abuse you and get away with it. Her son let her know that wasn’t the case. She experienced the consequences of her own hatefulness. This woman attacked you, admitted to animal abuse,

and thought framing her own son as a cheater was better than you being in his life. You did the right thing showing her little hate manifesto to your husband. She was held responsible for what she did, if the SILs don’t want to acknowledge that, they ought to be cut off as well.

PingPongProfessor - I got several calls and texts from them claiming I just caused irreparable damage in my husband's relationship with his mother,. *You* caused irreparable damage? WTF??. No, OP, *she* caused that. *She* caused the 'shitshow'. *She* 'turned your husband against his own mother.'. Tell your husband thank you. Tell him you're proud of him for standing up to his toxic mother.

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Last part of my advice: this is for your husband. It's his family so it's his call to make... but if *I* were the husband in this situation, I'd show that text to my siblings too, and tell them not to blame me or my wife for what happened, that I want nothing to do with any person who would send a message like that *or* with any person who would *defend* that behavior.. Oh -- almost forgot. NTA, and neither is your husband.

whatsmypassword73 - NTA, your MIL played Olympic level f**k around and find out, and she got the gold. Getting away from that piece of work is a stellar end to 2021.

Quadrantje - NTA. That was one hell of a message! I understand why your MIL didn't say that to you where your husband could hear her. Too bad for her that it backfired. If she didn't want her son to read this, she shouldn't have sent it.

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You are not responsible for her words, nor for your husband's response to them. Furthermore, it's very common for each partner in a relationship to handle the communication with their own family. Good on your husband for sticking up for you.

Dry-Expression - First of all *she* caused *herself* to be disowned.. You were right to show him the text.. Also, the fainting is fake. How does her being diabetic have anything to do with it?. NTA

From condemning the MIL’s cruelty to warning against future contact, these takes fuel the debate. Do they settle the score, or is there more to this in-law inferno?

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This text-message meltdown exposes the cost of unchecked toxicity. The wife’s decision to share was justified, but the fallout—hospital trips and family rifts—shows how deep the wounds run. Should she have confronted the MIL alone, or was transparency the only way? How would you navigate a toxic in-law’s attack on your family? Share your thoughts below!

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