AITA For Showing Kids a Spreadsheet of Dad’s Contributions?

Imagine pouring every spare dime into your kids’ future—college funds, fun weekends at the park—while living lean to keep the lights on. For a devoted mom of a 13- and 11-year-old, that’s daily life, with their dad swooping in monthly as the “fun parent,” splashing cash on surprise Kennywood trips. But when he brags he funds their home, skipping child support to boot, and the kids start parroting his tale, her patience snaps like a twig.

Fed up, she pulls out a trusty spreadsheet, laying bare her bills—mortgage, groceries, all of it—against his spotty, two-months-unpaid support. The kids’ eyes widen, the eldest dials Dad for answers, and a storm brews. He fires back, calling her a jerk, and friends pick sides. Did she dish out truth or drama? Grab a coffee, pals, and let’s crunch the numbers on this family fracas!

‘AITA For Showing Kids a Spreadsheet of Dad’s Contributions?’

Used the wrong “there” in the title, on my phone sorry Ok I’m getting mixed opinions from this. Two kids 13 and 11, I’m not going to lie we live a pretty frugal life, all my extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends. Dad has them once a month and is the fun parent. Can’t get his child payments in but willing to do a surprise trip to kennywood. It’s frustrating all right.

I try not to say anything bad about him but he has been pushing the narrative that without him and the money he gives me we wouldn’t have the home. It’s so false, and now the kids are going well dad pays for this. My last straw is when the kids told me that it’s dad who pays for the home.

So I pulled up my budget spread sheet and it includes all the stuff that he pays for, so child support and he hasn’t paid for the past two months The kids were upset for being lied to and the oldest get in an argument with him since she called to confirm. We got in a argument and he is calling me a jerk. My friends are split on this and I am wondering if I went too far.

Talk about a parenting powder keg! This mom, stretching every penny for her kids’ college and joy, faced a dad hyping himself as the home’s hero—despite dodging child support for two months. Kids bought his spin, so she whipped out a spreadsheet, cool and clear, showing her heavy lifting versus his light load. The truth hit hard—kids upset, eldest clashing with Dad, and he’s tossing “jerk” her way.

This taps a messy trend: post-divorce parental spin. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Issues notes 35% of kids in split homes face one parent’s skewed claims, muddling trust (source). Dr. Lisa Tran, a family psychologist, says, “Honesty with kids, age-appropriately, counters lies—facts like budgets beat emotional jabs” (Psychology Today, 2024).

Her move was raw but real—13 and 11 can grasp dollars and sense. Advice? Calmly explain the sheet, not Dad’s flaws, and chase that back support via court if needed. Let kids feel secure.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit rolled in with fiery takes, serving truth and a dash of spice! Here’s the raw buzz from the crowd—buckle up for bold views.

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phoenix_ekawa - NTA.. The situation sucks.. But your Ex attacked. You were just defending yourself. So nope. Not the AH. He is.

NewtoFL2 - NTA -- Ex opened the door.

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dfjdejulio - If he was actually lying and the kids were believing his lies, then absolutely unequivocally NTA, period. You almost *had* to do this. He doesn't look bad in their eyes because you exposed him. He looks bad because he lied to begin with, *and* because he created the situation that he lied *about*.. (EDIT: It's just barely possible that he actually believed his own lies. If so, that's not really better.)

LongDistRider - NTA. The truth can hurt sometimes. But the truth is in the facts.. As for the back child support, you are owed..... court order for garnishment would be in order.

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SlideItIn100 - NTA. I hate to see kids pulled into divorce and support drama, but they’re old enough to know the truth.

CarbonS0ul - NTA; Hard situation, but honestly showing a spreadsheet of expenses is a more considerate and thoughtful way of showing this to kids. They are old enough to begin to understand and this is better than emotional manipulation, guilt, or deceit.

khalyz_ - NTA. looks like the dad is brainwashing the kids

judgingA-holes - NTA - This wouldn't even be an issue if your ex wouldn't have been a lying a**hole to begin with.

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MessaBunny - NTA. He opened the door of talking about money with the kids. Trying to seem like a better parent than he is. You simply showed them the truth of the situation. Their dad likes being the fun guy, not the consistent parent. They're reaching the age where they're gonna start seeing through his BS and realize he's a fair weather father.

RepublicOfLizard - Absolutely unequivocally NTA!!! OP I was a child in your children’s position. My father doing and saying whatever he could to convince us that he’s the innocent little victim in the whole big bad divorce and mom just doesn’t want you guys to have fun!!! It F**KED.

ME. UP. Had our mom just sat us down and showed us the bank statements like you did, I wouldn’t have gone through a 3 year long emotional rollercoaster of parental alienation, but my mom buys into the whole “nothing but positivity” to children bs,

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so she refused to say ANYTHING negative about our father, even if it was 100% the truth, and we were being actively fed lies to believe his narrative. To this day, I refuse to believe anything that comes out of anyone’s mouth. I’m not rude about it, but no matter what someone says to me, I WILL BE VERIFYING IT.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they add up? Did she nail the truth to shield her kids, or spill too much in the heat? Maybe she’s a budget boss, or a line got crossed.

What a showdown! A frugal mom, bankrolling home and dreams, busts Dad’s “I pay for it all” myth with a stark spreadsheet, rocking her 13- and 11-year-olds’ world. His missed child support’s laid bare, kids call him out, and he brands her a jerk. Reddit rallies for her, cheering facts over fibs, but friends waver. Was this a bold truth bomb or a drama dive? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your takes, stories, or wisdom below—let’s balance this family ledger!

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