AITA for shouting at my husband and throwing my MIL out?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The nursery was quiet, but Jane’s nerves screamed as her mother-in-law’s voice sliced through the haze of new motherhood. At 27, with a 3-year-old and a 2-week-old, Jane expected support, not jabs, when her husband, Alex, welcomed his mom, Kathy, to stay without asking. Kathy’s breakup blues turned into a barrage—calling Jane a lazy, formula-feeding gold-digger. When Jane snapped, tossing Kathy out, Alex didn’t back her; he left with his mom.

Readers might feel that postpartum sting, imagining insults piling on sleepless nights. For those who want to read the previous part: . Jane’s update, with her family rallying and divorce looming, cracks open a raw fight for respect—can she reclaim her home, or is trust too far gone?

‘AITA for shouting at my husband and throwing my MIL out?’

I (27) have been married to my husband, (I’ll refer to him as Alex, fake name) (36M), for 7 years and we have 2 children together, a 3 yr old girl and a baby (2 wks) A week ago my MIL (we’ll call her Kathy) recently had a pretty bad breakup with a long term partner of hers.

Following this, Kathy asked Alex if she could stay with us for a while, he obliged. Alex didn’t run this by me but as this is his mother and she is going through a rough patch, I let it go.. Now here’s where the problem begins:. MIL has been constantly critiquing my parenting and even inserting herself in me and Alex’s.

finances. I’m no stranger to her bashing my parenting when we would see her on holidays with my toddler but this was her first time staying with us for so long. Some of MIL’s bashing goes as follows — baby is mainly formula fed (I want to breastfeed exclusively,

but my milk supply is low and I’ve been working with my baby’s pediatrician) She goes on long rants about how I’m “feeding my baby poison” and “throwing money down the drain” and how she “breastfed her children with no problems!” And that I need to stop being lazy.

As well as a thousand critiques about how I’m holding baby too much and Ill spoil her. (No amount of telling her my conversations with my baby’s pediatrician put an end to this.) And when I make my 3 year old something quick for breakfast or lunch and MIL goes on about how “I’m home all day doing nothing and can’t be bothered to cook my child a real meal). My final straw happened last night:

I’m currently on maternity leave (elementary school teacher) my husband is working and makes about 3x what I make. When my husband got home from work, I asked him to watch the kids for a few minutes while I took a shower.. MIL says I’m being lazy and a gold digger and that I expect. her son to do all the work and then come home and babysit. I lost it.

I shouted at her to go back to her own house, and to mind her own parenting. My husband then said I can’t do that to my own MIL and that she lives all on her own now and that I was being cruel. I shouted at him that she has 3 other children she can stay with, that he lets her get away with talking to his wife that way and what kind of husband is he. MIL and Alex left, Alex said he’ll stay with his mother for a night or two.

I called my sister and mom over to help with the kids and to talk to them. I feel like I may be TA because even though Alex has heard many of the remarks she’s made about me and my parenting, I probably should’ve talked to him about it and now it made me feel. 

New moms need a village, not a critic, and Jane’s battle with Kathy proves it. Postpartum at two weeks, Jane’s juggling hormones, low milk supply, and a toddler—Kathy’s attacks on her parenting aren’t just rude; they’re cruel. Alex’s failure to shield her, choosing his mom over his wife and kids, flips a marital red flag. Jane’s outburst wasn’t perfect, but it was a scream for survival.

Dr. Shoshana Bennett, in a 2024 Postpartum Support International article, says, “Postpartum stress amplifies conflict—partners must prioritize the new mom’s well-being.” A 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study finds 65% of postpartum couples face tension when in-laws overstep. Kathy’s rants and Alex’s silence betray Jane’s trust.

Jane’s right to eject Kathy, but Alex’s absence stings worse. Dr. Bennett urges couples counseling to rebuild, but Jane’s divorce consultations signal a breaking point. She could demand Alex set boundaries before returning. Readers, ever faced in-law chaos as a new parent? How’d you guard your peace?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s posse crashed Jane’s drama like it’s a fiery town hall, slinging cheers, outrage, and a few wake-up calls. It’s like a support group where everyone’s got her back or a bone to pick. Here’s the crowd’s unfiltered roar, bursting with heart and heat:

[Reddit User] − There are three people mentioned here and two of them are AHs. You’re not one of them. I know you might feel like one for blowing up at her and your husband taking her side but the way I see it: You are a good, loving mother. You might parent differently than your MIL did but that doesn’t make her way better.

Your husband should be standing up for you rather than enabling her cruelty toward you. He must see that you’re a good mother, why else would he trust you to care for the kids, or have a second child with you? So he needed to put a stop to the criticism. Instead he sided with her! Staying with HER for a few nights leaving you with a newborn? Because of a breakup? Yeah they suck, but she’s a grown ass woman.

RileysVoice − NTA and your husband is a s**tty husband. No matter what he does do to be a good husband, his behaviour and unwillingness to stand up to his mother and understand she is wrong is not ok, and that outranks the parts of being a good husband and makes him a s**tty one.

You need to give him an ultimatum, and come up with an exit plan, just in case it ever got to that stage. Regardless of her being his mother, you and the kids are his family and it’s your home, she does not get to dictate or disrespect you and he is a crappy husband and father for allowing that behaviour under his roof.

[Reddit User] − NTA Good use of the post partum diddums! I'm with you, if you're going to criticize me, help or shut up and leave. I shouted at her to go back to her own house, and to mind her own parenting. My husband then said I can’t do that to my own MIL and that she lives all on her own now and that I was being cruel.

I shouted at him that she has 3 other children she can stay with, that he lets her get away with talking to his wife that way and what kind of husband is he. Well said and done. The icing on the cake is knowing her nibs is seething knowing your mother and sister stepped up to help out. Your husband should take notice, your safety net is secure and fully operational. Your husband needs to grow up and be a husband.

ParsimoniousSalad − NTA. 1. Your husband invited his mother to stay with you, without asking, when you are 2 wks post-delivery. 2. He heard many of her mean remarks and never once stepped in to defend you/ tell her to back the hell off and stay in her lane.. Your husband owes you a BIG apology before he gets to come back.

I don't even need to get into how much of an A.H. MIL acted like - that one is too damn easy. EDIT: I'm even wondering how involved your husband is (as a parent) if he isn't even aware of the milk supply issue and what the pediatrician has said about other things. Why wouldn't he even speak up about issues that involve HIS child?

[Reddit User] − NTA. BUT Im still not over the idea of a 28 (or 27) year old guy dating a 19 (or 18) year old.. You have an issue with your husband. He shouldn’t be okay with his mother talking to you like that. Also not a fan of him bailing with his mom when he has children he should be sticking around for.

PepperJacs − I am not a OMG you must divorce Redditor but honestly this is a line in the sand moment. He left you a a toddler and a 2 week old baby to care for alone - after obviously having just given birth, because he didn’t want his mum to feel lonely……

Not to mention that he invited her to live with you without discussion when you had just given birth and then refused to defend you when she was horrible to you. I don’t know how you come back from this without a lot of boundaries and marriage counselling but I suspect he’s a lost cause mommas boy. NTA

bardbarian81 − NTA at all. It sounds like you have an SO problem on top of a MIL problem. I would suggest having a serious talk with your husband about boundaries and how you and your family should always come before his mom. And if he can’t abide by that, you might as well start filing for divorce now because that means the mama’s boy will not be cutting his apron strings.

friedonionscent − Why would you need to tell him how she makes you feel? It goes without saying - if someone is calling you lazy, a s**t parent and a gold-digger...there's no *good* way to take that. Alex is thick, complacent and definitely doesn't have your back.

savinathewhite − NTA. The big problem here isn’t your MIL, it’s your husband. If he lets *anyone* talk to his wife, and a woman who had a baby 2 weeks ago like that, he needs a major reality check.. Invite him to continue staying with his mommy until he grows a spine. Then get your marriage into counseling.

Fievel93 −

These Redditors are all-in, hailing Jane’s stand or torching Alex’s loyalty. Some push for divorce; others beg for therapy. But do their takes catch the full weight, or just fuel the blaze? One thing’s certain—Jane’s fight for respect has everyone shouting. What’s your call on her next step?

Jane’s saga is a gut-wrench of postpartum pain and family betrayal, where a mother’s roar chased out venom but lost her husband’s backup. Kathy’s gone, but Alex’s choice to leave cuts deeper, leaving Jane with allies and hard choices. Can trust rebuild, or is divorce her freedom? If an in-law turned your home to chaos, how’d you fight back? Share your thoughts below—let’s untangle this raw rift!

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