AITA for shitting on my cousin’s plan to go to law school?

Family gatherings can ignite like a spark in dry grass, and for one 21-year-old, a weekly chore at his grandma’s turned explosive. His cousin, Taylor, a devout Christian, shared her dream of law school to fight abortion, but her shaky grades and cluelessness about the LSAT drew his blunt scorn. Calling her plan “dumbass,” he urged her to stick with nursing, leaving her in tears and their grandma fuming, accusing him of a “godless agenda.”

Now, with threats of a minister’s visit looming, he’s questioning his harsh words. Was his honesty too brutal, or did her unrealistic goal invite critique? This Reddit saga dives into the clash of beliefs, family ties, and tough love, where a cousin’s ambition and a sharp tongue collide. Can differing views coexist without burning bridges?

‘AITA for shitting on my cousin’s plan to go to law school?’

I (21 M) have this cousin, “Taylor” (20F). She is really Christian and she’s considers herself an “anti-a**rtion activist.” I don’t really care about political stuff, but she’s rude to me all the time because I’m not Christian and so we have some bad blood.

This summer, I’ve had to see her every week when I go to my grandma’s to help her take out her trash cans and other household stuff (Taylor lives with my grandma). Taylor told me that she is planning to go to law school, and that she wants to try to make a**rtion illegal for her career.

She isn’t a good student — she hadn’t even heard of the LSAT before I told her — and she doesn’t have a solid plan for how she’s going to “make a**rtion illegal.” I told her it was a dumbass idea, and she should stay in the Major she’s currently in (nursing). She started crying and wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the time I was at my grandma’s.

My grandma was also mad, and she said I was pushing my godless agenda on Taylor. She said that next time I came over, she would invite her minister to drop by and talk to me about it. I don’t want to see her minister, and I told her I would leave and stop helping her if she did that.. AITA? Was I too mean to my cousin?

Words can cut deeper than intended, and this 21-year-old’s blunt takedown of his cousin’s law school dream left wounds. Taylor’s anti-abortion goal and weak academic prep sparked his harsh “dumbass” jab, but the tears and family backlash show the cost of his approach. Their rocky history—her rudeness over his lack of faith—set the stage, but was his critique fair or cruel?

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, says, “Honesty without tact can fracture relationships.” His point about Taylor’s unpreparedness for law school—unfamiliarity with the LSAT and poor grades—was valid, as law programs are brutally competitive. Only 40% of LSAT takers score high enough for top-tier schools. Yet, his delivery, fueled by personal tension, turned advice into an attack. Her nursing path, while practical, also raises concerns; her activism could clash with patient care, as Reddit noted.

This reflects a broader issue: family debates over career and beliefs often ignite when respect falters. His frustration with Taylor’s judgment mirrors her push to impose her views, creating a cycle of resentment. Dr. Lerner suggests “I” statements to soften critiques: “I’m worried law school’s demands might overwhelm you without LSAT prep.” This could’ve opened dialogue, not tears. For repair, he might apologize for his tone, not his point, and clarify his intent to help, not hurt. Boundaries with grandma—refusing the minister—protect his autonomy but risk family ties.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, offering a mix of cheers and jeers on this cousin clash. Here’s what they had to say:

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YorkshirePug − YTA for encouraging her to continue studying to be a nurse.

sms1974 − YTA for one reason only. If she moves across to law she isn’t going to make a lick of difference but she sounds like the last person who should work as a nurse. Encourage her to move to... well anything else.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. If she wants to trample on the civil rights of others, she needs to develop a thicker skin. And learn what she has to do to become a lawyer.

[Reddit User] − YTA, but for a reason you probably don’t expect... Please don’t encourage this person to stay in her nursing program. She can become a political activist, Fox News expert lawyer, assistant to a conservative state house representative, you name it.

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Plenty of people with legal degrees advocating to make abortions illegal who are not very intelligent (which is probably why it still is and will remain a right..) I’d be more concerned about her practicing medicine and harming woman or making their life hell by trying to “convert” them.

carolinemathildes − NTA. If she plans on making a career out of stripping away women's civil rights, she's gonna have to deal with people calling her a dumbass.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You were being honest. People like the idea of being a lawyer but don't understand how tough/competitive it is. Nursing programs can be super competitive too (I'm a nurse) based on how good of a school it is. Also as a nurse, she should probably lose that whole 'open anti-a**rtion activist' thing

because she is going to be floored with how many patients she has with abortions in their H&P. She says one wrong thing to one patient and she could get fired. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but if she's going to be a nurse she's going to have to learn to keep that opinion to herself for the most part.

mia-oklan − NTA, but I agree that her being a nurse is also a terrible idea

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Paniqattacke − ESH but you were justified in what you said. She sounds unbearable. And to all the YTA comments: Crushing her dreams doesn't matter. She'll get her dreams crushed in law school with the goal she's chasing and you don't see someone walking around saying they'll make a career making child labor legal.

I_Hate_Nerds − Regardless of political ideology, law is just about one of the worst careers you could get into right now. The market is utterly oversaturated and will be for decades. There’s so many lawyers willing to work for scraps that even *if* she gets a job she’ll be 200k in debt and lucky to make 50k a year.

BergJatte79 − NTA regarding law school but definitely YTA for telling her to be a nurse. That field doesn't need her type of crazy in it.

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These takes are spicy, but do they miss the mark on mending family ties?

This man’s sharp words to his cousin didn’t just bruise her ego—they cracked family bonds. Calling her law school plan “dumbass” was honest but harsh, driven by her shaky prep and their personal grudges. Her tears and grandma’s wrath show the fallout of mixing tough love with bad blood. What would you do when family dreams clash with reality? Share your thoughts below—how do you balance honesty with kindness in family feuds?

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