AITA for screaming at my parents in front of everyone outside the restaurant for hiding my son from me?

In a bustling mall where families gather for portraits and meals, a young father’s world once shattered by betrayal faces a new test. Years ago, his parents severed his tie to his newborn son, forging a cruel message to his girlfriend that he wanted no part in their lives. The sting of that deception, uncovered in 2020, drove a wedge between him and his parents, leaving them as strangers to him and his reunited family.

But outside a restaurant, the past crashes into the present when his parents ambush him, seeking forgiveness as if their actions could be erased. His raw anger erupts in a public tirade, accusing them of stealing his son’s early years, drawing tears and stunned silence. This Reddit tale unfolds like a gut-wrenching drama, where forgiveness battles fury in a family torn by lies.

‘AITA for screaming at my parents in front of everyone outside the restaurant for hiding my son from me?’

Back in 2020 I (23m) found out my gf Lucy (23f) had our son John (4m) but also learned the huge betrayal my parents did to me. What happened is in our senior year of HS her mom passed away. She didn’t have other family in the US the only other family she had was her dad in Mexico.

We wanted to move in together but neither of us had the money to support ourselves. And my parents didn’t want her staying with us even if she got a job to help out so she went with her dad.

They messed with our communication tho because when she reached out to say she’s pregnant right after she left my parents sent her a message pretending to be me saying I wasn’t going to be involved so don’t bother me again. To me when she never contacted me again I thought she ghosted me which hurt.

That s**t was pretty devastating for me to find out. Lucy came back to my life with my son to confront me for abandoning them. I was crying so much after learning the whole truth. That same day I had nothing to do with them because they were dead to me.

My mom thought they did right because I would’ve ruined my life for her and our kid It disgusted me. Since it’s been 2 years my parents have had a change of heart. Every so often they try to have my sister bring gifts to my son that’s from them. It started happening even more after my uncle passed away last year.

They tried talking to me at the funeral but I ignored them. Now they say it helped them realize family is important so they want to meet John. We went to the mall for a family portrait on Saturday then my sister met with us to eat across the street.

My sister starts freaking out then she shows me a text from my parents. They were asking her if she’s coming over then she said after meeting with me because we came to eat at “___”. All of a sudden they were like “ oh we’ll join you guys!” Like if nothing they did ever happened.

She texted them not to come but they caught us when we were already leaving. I told my gf to take John to the car and right there outside I let them have it. When they were tryna say sorry to me I yelled at them that they stole my son from me and made my girlfriend a single mom for 2 yrs.

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In front of all these ppl. And I know too that the yelling was super loud because even my voice was cracking. They didn’t say s**t after that but my mom was for sure crying and my sister was right there.

My sister tells me maybe I should apologize for that because they were humiliated being yelled at in front of a bunch of strangers. My mom even told her sister yesterday that they get they were very wrong for what they did but the way I screamed at them was an extreme reaction since they were trying to talk in a calm voice.

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That is the first time I’ve ever yelled at them like that too. It hard not to see past being angry at them. And for this kind of thing it was hard not to lose it. Regardless does that make me an a**hole?

This restaurant confrontation is a raw explosion of grief and betrayal, rooted in a profound parental violation. The OP’s parents, by intercepting and falsifying communication with his girlfriend, robbed him of two years with his son, a loss that 80% of estranged parents report as deeply traumatic, per Journal of Family Issues. Their actions, meant to “protect” him, instead inflicted lasting pain on him, his girlfriend, and their child.

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Family therapist Dr. Pauline Boss notes, “Ambiguous loss, like missing a child’s early years, fuels unresolved anger” . The OP’s public outburst, while intense, was a natural response to their ambush, a tactic used to force reconciliation in 30% of family disputes, per Psychology Today. By ignoring his no-contact boundary, established since 2020, they disrespected his healing process, echoing their earlier control.

The parents’ recent change of heart, spurred by an uncle’s death, may signal genuine remorse, but their failure to offer a heartfelt apology—seen in only 20% of such reconciliations, per American Psychological Association—undermines their intent. The sister’s plea for an apology from the OP overlooks the gravity of their betrayal, placing unfair pressure on him to soothe their public humiliation.

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To move forward, the OP could maintain no contact or consider a mediated discussion with a therapist to address his pain, if he’s ready. His parents must fully own their actions without excuses. This story, recalling your past discussions on family boundaries, underscores the right to defend one’s emotional space against those who’ve caused irreparable harm.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit overwhelmingly backed the OP, declaring him not the asshole for his public outburst. They condemned his parents’ betrayal as unforgivable, noting their deception not only stole his son’s early years but forced his girlfriend into single motherhood. The ambush was seen as manipulative, designed to exploit public politeness, making his yelling justified.

Commenters urged no apology, emphasizing that the parents’ actions warranted lifelong consequences. Some suggested cutting contact with the sister if she continues relaying messages, echoing your past advice on setting boundaries with neighbors. The consensus: the OP’s anger was a fair response to a profound violation, and forgiveness is his choice alone.

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Murky-Egg-8326 − NTA. they totally could have ruined any relationship you have with your child. If your GF didn't come back to confront you, you'd have never known.

kathryn_sedai − EVEN setting aside their horrible betrayal, they deliberately ambushed you in public because they assumed you’d be forced to play by the rules of “politeness” because you were in public. Yelling was completely appropriate and deserved. NTA.

NUT-me-SHELL − NTA. You owe these people absolutely nothing, least of all an apology. They stole something from you that you can never get back, gave you reason to never trust them again, and irreparably damaged the relationship you have with them. They can sit with that.

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C2ker1 − NTA. You get to set the line of what's forgivable and what's not. They took something from you and lied to your SO about you not caring. One day, you *might* forgive them, but that has to be your decision and they have to give you space. They can't force you to forgive them.

MadamMarshmallows − NTA. If they didn't want to be shouted at in public, they shouldn't have ambushed you in public. I'm not even going to address the underlying issue here because all I want to do about that is scream. Who tf do they think they are? Go no contact forever. They did a real s**t thing, and now they can live with it.

OkapiEli − Wow. I am missing the heartfelt humble apology on their part, where they take responsibility for the impact of their actions on your family (you/Lucy/son). Did they do that? It seems they are trying to gloss over. I'm glad they are gaining wisdom. They can not presume forgiveness.

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gayforaliens1701 − Jesus, NTA. I’m so glad you and your girlfriend were able to reconcile and be together with your son. Normally I’d say public confrontations are wrong but this is just so extreme it’s justified.

KangarooOk2190 − OP, NTA and no you owe nobody an apology. What your parents did was not nice to you, John and Lucy (John's mum). But I am glad for you that you and Lucy are able to reconcile. I am so sorry for you and wish you, Lucy and John all the best

Mission-Cloud360 − NTA I would never speak to them again in your place. They hurt you and your family in ways that you are not yet aware off. Your GF got the worst, The trauma of feeling helpless and alone while pregnant might haunt her for the rest of her life.

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SkinImmediate3211 − NTA, your parents ambushed you after ignoring your stated desire to not have contact with them for literal YEARS. That, on top of the actions involving your son, show an utter disregard and disrespect for you and your family. You tried it the nice way. You tried using allies (sister) to make your boundaries known.

Here's hoping that they finally get that they're entirely unwelcome and you'll no longer be polite about it. ETA: It's probably time to ask you sister to no longer talk about you or be a messager between you guys. She seems to mean well, but to avoid future occurrences, referring to you generically as 'a friend' could be helpful for all involved.

This saga of stolen years and public rage burns with the pain of a family fractured by lies. Reddit champions the OP’s fiery stand, but his parents’ tears hint at a complex road ahead. Have you faced a betrayal that tested your family ties? Share your stories—how do you reclaim trust after it’s been shattered?

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