AITA for saying to my MIL that she needs to get over the idea we would EVER move to Ohio?

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Picture a snowy Boulder trail, perfect for snowshoeing, far from Ohio’s flatlands. For one Reddit couple, their Colorado life of hiking, biking, and skiing is paradise, but the husband’s mother-in-law (MIL) keeps pushing them to trade it for an Ohio house near family. Her latest pitch—complete with a down payment offer—met a fed-up retort: they’ll never move.

Now, MIL’s airing her grievances, calling him rude, while their mountain haven hums with freedom. In this clash of lifestyles and family ties, boundaries are tested. Can the couple stand firm in their Boulder bliss, or will MIL’s Ohio dreams stir more drama?

‘AITA for saying to my MIL that she needs to get over the idea we would EVER move to Ohio?’

My wife and I met in Boulder for school. Housing costs are crazy. Actually being able to afford to buy is out of the question for us for a bit. But we are renting a pretty nice place and are happy for now. We spend the week working jobs we don’t hate, then go hiking, biking, skiing, camping.

MIL hates that my wife moved out here, and hates it even more that nothing she says or does convinces us to move back to be “closer to family.” To be blunt, there is nothing that could convince me to move to a place like Ohio and leave everything worth living for behind just to be near family.

Last week it came to a head when we were on Zoom. I said that we were going to go on a snowshoe adventure in the mountains and stay in a friend’s cabin for a few nights. I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks. She said Well I wanted to let you guys know, there’s a house up for sale nearby that I think you’d really like.

She rambled on and on about all the features of the house, including its “great location,” and mentioned how they would even help us with the down payment. At that point I was just fed up because nothing can get through to this woman. I said “Marlene, there is nothing you can do or say that would ever get us to move to Ohio.

You need to get the fantasy out of your head. It’s never. Going. To Happen.” She said I was being rude and she was just trying to help us, and repeated that they would even help us with the down payment, and it would help us “settle down” finally and be closer to family.

I told her that was manipulative and joked that if they want to be closer to us so badly, why don’t they move out here? And just stepped away to let my wife wrap up the call. Ten minutes later my wife came by and was laughing and said that her mom is pissed because What’s wrong with Ohio? I raised you here and now you’re too good for it?!

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Before I get told I’m pretentious or whatever, I’m sure that Ohio is perfectly fine for the people who live there, but why would we trade our lifestyle and everything we love? Why own a house in a place we don’t want to be? We both had a laugh about it, but MIL wouldn’t let it go and insisted on sharing with everyone how awful and mean her son in law is because we won’t move to Ohio.

People were laying on the guilt trip saying how they’d be so heartbroken if their kids left and they’d feel like failures, a lot of “What’s wrong with Ohio?!?” and things like that. And of course a lot of talk of “kids these days want to live in the big city and have it all and then complain they can’t afford to buy a house.”

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I chimed in with “The offer still stands, if you want to be closer to family you can always move here.” I got angry reacts and told that I was being an ass. Was I? BTW guys... Michigan isn't exactly a step up. 😂 (guys this is a joke based on your comments relating to college sports. please calm down)

This couple’s standoff with MIL over moving to Ohio is a classic boundary battle. Their Boulder lifestyle—outdoor adventures, decent jobs—suits them, but MIL’s relentless push for Ohio, topped with a house offer, ignores their wishes. The husband’s blunt rejection, while sharp, countered her persistence. Reddit’s support calls out her overreach, though her hurt reflects a common family tension.

Family pressure to relocate is widespread. A 2022 Pew Research study found 40% of adults face familial expectations to live closer, often clashing with personal goals. MIL’s offer, though generous, feels manipulative, prioritizing her vision over the couple’s happiness. Her public complaints amplify the drama, casting the husband as the villain.

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Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, says, “Respecting a couple’s autonomy strengthens family ties.” MIL’s fixation on Ohio dismisses their Boulder roots. The husband’s quip about her moving to Colorado, while cheeky, underscores their stance. To de-escalate, the couple could set a firm boundary, politely reiterating their commitment to Colorado and redirecting talks to visits, not relocation. Inviting MIL to experience their lifestyle, as one Redditor did, might shift her perspective.

If MIL persists, limiting contact temporarily could reinforce boundaries. This saga shows family love thrives on mutual respect, not control.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brought bold takes on this Ohio-versus-Boulder showdown. Here’s what they said:

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starvinartist - NTA. She wouldn't take no for an answer, so the kiddie gloves had to come off. Your life in Colorado sounds awesome, by the way.

Maladict33 - NTA. Start sending your MIL real estate listings for places in Boulder. Tell her you're just trying to help.

oforest_fairyo - NTA. My partner and I both left our small east coast towns to live in Seattle with no family out here and both have had some form of this conversation at some point, and again. We may eventually retire back there, but why live there when there is so much here?

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The only leverage you have at this point is your presence. So, I started ending the conversation with my mom immediately when she'd bring it up... why don't you move back? I'm not having this conversation with you, I'll call again soon and hung up. My family finally got it.

My partners family stopped when we brought them out here and showed them our life here. They seemed to value his happiness and dropped it after we took them to all our favorite restaurants, and to the mountains and beaches.. Edit: Thanks pal for my first Award! Much appreciated!! Being helpful is my literal job!

ChewMyFudge - NTA. That's not help. That's constant, blatant pressure. She's the rude one for not respecting boundaries after you clearly told her no. Also gotta love how such people play the victim card by letting everybody who will listen know how they did 'nothing wrong' and it was 'uncalled for'.. Her loss.

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[Reddit User] - Hey as an Ohioan (not by choice) we don’t f**king like it here either. What’s wrong with Ohio? You, Marlene, that’s what. NTA.

Soiree1999 - NTA, she needed to hear it bluntly. However, despite your disclaimer, the fact you said “a place like Ohio and leave everything worth living for behind” does suggest you have a disdain that probably comes through in conversations. I would recommend listening for that in your tone. I say this as unrelated to your MIL’s obnoxious behavior and just unsolicited advice that you can take or leave.

Dszquphsbnt - AITA for saying to my MIL that she needs to get over the idea we would EVER move to Ohio? Oof— I'll read the rest of it but I'll tell you from title alone N T A is yours to lose... HI I'm back. NTA. I don't see anything assholish in saying, '*there is nothing you can do or say that would ever get us to move to Ohio. You need to get the fantasy out of your head. It’s never. Going. To Happen.”*. It's the truth, told in a frank way, but not in an a**hole way.

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GothPenguin - NTA. I’ve lived in Colorado and live in Ohio. Both places have their appeal but she needs to realize what’s appealing to her isn’t what’s appealing to you. Since that’s never going to happen you needed to do what you did.

dinosnore210 - Unpopular opinion apparently- ESH. MIL is definitely being unreasonable but it doesn’t seem like it bothers your wife when she bugs you guys about this and you’re on the same page as the person who matters.. MIL talking s**t about you is totally unacceptable.

She loves her daughter, you, and the future family you may have. Of course she wants to be closer and probably always thought that’s how her daughter would settle down. Blowing up at her was probably really embarrassing for her too. Cut her some slack.

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SirBellwater - NTA at the risk of this not being considered civil I want to say emphatically, F**K Ohio

These fiery comments cheer the couple’s stand, but do they miss MIL’s feelings?

This tale of mountain dreams versus family ties shows how deeply lifestyle shapes choices. The husband’s firm “no” to Ohio protects their Boulder bliss, but MIL’s hurt lingers. Clear boundaries and open visits could mend ties. What would you do if family pushed you to leave your dream home? Drop your thoughts below!

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