AITA for saying our home is no longer a ‘hotel’ because we are expecting our first child?

Imagine the glow of a long-awaited pregnancy announcement dimmed by an unexpected family squabble. The OP, brimming with joy after nine years of hoping for a child, shared that their home’s spare room—fondly dubbed a “hotel” by their parents—would soon transform into a nursery. But what seemed like a practical update sparked a firestorm. The parents’ playful “is the hotel open?” quip turned sour, replaced by accusations of rudeness and selfishness. Suddenly, a moment of celebration felt like a tug-of-war over family ties and space.

This tale hits home for anyone navigating the shift from child-free life to parenthood. The OP’s blunt “the hotel is closed” remark, meant to set boundaries, unleashed a wave of guilt and misunderstanding. As Reddit weighs in, we dive into this cozy-turned-chaotic family drama, unpacking the clash of expectations and the art of saying “no” with love.

‘AITA for saying our home is no longer a ‘hotel’ because we are expecting our first child?’

For 13years we've had a spare room and my parents have always been able to stay overnight when they want to visit. They jokingly always said 'is the hotel open' to ask/say they'd stay the night. After 9 years of trying for a baby we finally have one on the way. We announced and I said 'the hotel is closed'.

The spare room is being turned into a nursery. My parents said they would turn up with a blow up mattress to keep staying the night when they want. I said it wasn't going to work as we have no room for one unless we maybe sell lounge furniture. To which my parents have now said I'm rude, insulting, selfish and I'm apparently saying they are not welcome.

They've also said it's my fault their grandchild won't see them very often as they can't afford the trip to only stay a day at a time. (It's a 2hr car drive between us and we've made day trips to them and them to us often before with no hassles).

My in-laws have no problems travelling 5hours by plane to rent a real hotel, there's one across the road from our house. So I hadn't expected this to be an issue with my own parents. AITA and should be apologising for saying the 'hotel is closed' and finding a way to get a mattress down for them to stay after baby arrives?

Setting boundaries during life’s big changes, like welcoming a baby, can feel like walking a tightrope. The OP’s decision to repurpose their spare room is practical, yet their parents’ hurt reaction reveals a deeper issue: unspoken expectations. Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundary expert, notes in her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace (quoted via Psychology Today), “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” The OP’s “hotel is closed” comment, though blunt, aimed to prioritize their growing family’s needs.

The parents’ pushback—calling the OP selfish and guilt-tripping about grandchild access—suggests entitlement. A 2021 Pew Research study found 26% of grandparents expect frequent visits, often overlooking logistical shifts like new parenthood. The OP’s parents, used to 13 years of free stays, may feel blindsided, but their refusal to consider alternatives, like a nearby hotel, leans manipulative. The OP’s in-laws, traveling five hours and booking hotels, show adaptability the parents lack.

For the OP, clear communication is key. Dr. Tawwab advises restating boundaries calmly: “We’re excited for you to visit, but overnight stays won’t work with the nursery setup.” Suggesting nearby lodging or day trips can soften the blow. The parents’ financial concerns, if valid, deserve empathy—perhaps offering to help research affordable options. Ultimately, the OP should stand firm, ensuring their home supports their new family while inviting parents to visit on new terms.

This saga underscores a universal truth: boundaries protect relationships, not end them. The OP can foster closeness by planning regular day visits, preserving family ties without sacrificing space. New parents deserve room to breathe, and grandparents can adapt with grace.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit didn’t mince words, dishing out support for the OP with a side of shade for the parents’ pity party. From boundary cheers to sarcastic jabs at entitlement, the comments are a spicy mix of wit and wisdom. Here’s the raw take:

[Reddit User] − NTA.. It's a good thing the hotel is closing. Your parents don't seem to understand the word 'boundary'.

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photosbeersandteach − NTA. The needs of your family are changing and you no longer have the space to host overnight guests. It’s nice that you have your parents a heads up so that they can take that into account when planning further visits. If they chose to let it impact their ability to have a relationship with their grandchild, that is their choiceS

[Reddit User] − NTA what a joke, that was all they had to say?? after 9 YEARS they aren’t excited for a grandchild? they had to make this moment all about how visiting you isn’t worth paying for an actual hotel? wtf no

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Ok_Smell_8260 − NTA. Your parents are being ridiculous. Maybe put them in the nursery once and they'll remember they don't want to share a room with a baby.

100percentthatmitch − NTA good parents would offer to sleep there if you needed help with the baby, but if not they'd be wanting to get a hotel to give you and your baby peace. Your parents are entitled and seem manipulative with their whoa is me attitude and counts about it being your fault they won't know the baby.

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Kitchen-Ad5250 − NTA! Your parents should’ve been grateful for all of the times you’ve had that “ hotel is open” policy and I find them to be the selfish ones. You think they’d be so excited you’re having a child, but they seem more worried about their “free hotel vouchers” no longer being valid.

TisThee_Reason − NTAH the free ride is over for granny & gramps. Maybe you should have not said it to them in the same way they’ve always “rented a free room” from you but it’s not that serious for that dramatic type of response from them either.

I’d have a conversation with both of them (video chat is best) where you say you were only joking in the same way they always have but that when the new baby arrives you’d like your time And space to adjust to those changes. It will be too chaotic with an air bed in the living room along with toys, baby bouncers and a playpen.

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Say “I’ve enjoyed you staying here for 13 years but all good things come to an end. You’ll be minutes away from us and that’ll give our new family some privacy along with dad & you as well.” Suggest an Air B&B or the hotel. Don’t take no for an answer and don’t cave to the pity party….

If mom starts that just say you have to go but that you hope to see them soon. If she pushes further let her know it’s not up for debate. You love them but you need this to be comfortable and she has to respect that 💛 good luck!

owl-bee − NTA, if you have no room you have no room.

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HomeJamesStepOnIt − Laugh at them for being so entitled

Sad_You_1392 − Need more info. A 2 hour drive round trip can be difficult on elderly parents depending on their health. My Mom can barely make the 2 hour one way. She would be terrified to stay in a hotel. Has some dementia. Also, are your parents able to afford the hotel? My Mom can but would be a complete wreck just making the reservation.. If parents can afford and aren't having issues with drive then you're NTA.

These Redditors backed the OP’s right to prioritize their baby, roasting the parents’ over-the-top reaction. Some saw manipulation; others urged a gentler delivery. But do these fiery takes miss the parents’ perspective, or nail the real issue?

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This family flap shows how quickly joy can tangle with hurt when expectations clash. The OP’s bid to carve out space for their baby is fair, but the delivery stung, turning a boundary into a battle. With clear communication and a dash of empathy, this rift can heal, keeping grandparents close without crowding the nursery. Have you ever had to redraw family lines during a big life change? What would you do in the OP’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the chat going!

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