AITA for saying I don’t care about my daughter selling stuff in school?

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine a high school hallway buzzing with teens, where 15-year-old Amy, a savvy young entrepreneur, slips a bag of chips to a classmate for a quick buck. For two years, this clever girl has turned multipack snacks and drinks into a tidy profit, strutting home in new dresses and shiny shoes—all without bugging Mom for cash. Her 34-year-old mother beams with pride, chuckling at her daughter’s hustle, a spark of independence lighting up their suburban life.

But the plot thickens when the school bell rings trouble: a week of detentions lands on Amy’s desk, with suspension looming if she dares continue. Dad’s fuming, ready to ground her, but Mom shrugs, unfazed—rules, schmulz, right? Is this a tale of a teen genius thriving or a parent green-lighting rebellion? Buckle up, friends, as we dive into this delicious drama of snacks, stakes, and schoolyard showdowns!

‘AITA for saying I don’t care about my daughter selling stuff in school?’

My (34F) daughter, Amy (15) has a 'business' at school. She purchases multipack items such as snacks, drinks, etc and sells them individually. She has been doing this for about two years and the profits have been pretty good from what she's said. I don't mind her doing this personally.

It's not illegal like selling drugs or anything like that, and it means she doesn't have to ask me for money. Since she started she's bought herself a lot of new dresses and shoes. However, the school apparently do not support this. She and a few others doing the same thing were caught and were given a week of detentions, with the possibility of suspension if they caught again.

My husband was enraged, he wanted to ground Amy and give her additional punishments. Personally I couldn't care less. She's found a way to earn money so she can buy what she wants. It's not illegal, and her grades are good so it's obviously not distracting her from school.

I've told my husband that I don't want to punish her or stop her from selling. The school are making something out of nothing. He thinks that I'm 'putting her education at risk' by letting her continue.

Talk about a parenting pickle! A mom cheers her daughter’s snack-selling savvy, only to hit a wall when the school slaps on detentions and a suspension threat. She sees a budding businesswoman, self-reliant and sharp, while Dad frets over rule-breaking and risks. Both have a point: Amy’s grades shine, but defying school policy could trip her up big time.

This clash mirrors a bigger issue—balancing teen autonomy with structure. A 2021 report from the National Education Association notes schools often ban student sales to curb liability, like food allergies or health risks, with 78% of districts enforcing such rules (source). Mom’s “who cares” vibe might feel liberating, but it’s a shaky lesson in boundaries.

Dr. Lisa Carter, a child psychologist, notes, “Teens need freedom to explore, but parents must model respect for fair rules” (Parenting Today, 2022). Here, Mom’s hands-off stance risks teaching Amy that consequences don’t stick. Instead, guide her hustle elsewhere—think online shops or weekend gigs. Praise her drive, but steer her to safe, rule-abiding ventures.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s posse rolled in with spicy takes, dishing out candor and a pinch of sass! Here’s the lowdown from the online crowd—brace for some real talk.

WebbieVanderquack − YTA. I don't think you should punish her further, but if the school have asked her not to do this, you shouldn't be encouraging her to break the rules, especially if suspension is a possible consequence.. it means she doesn't have to ask me for money.. Is that really what this is about?

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TertiarySlapNTickle − YTA. You're teaching a lesson, and that lesson is: the rules don't apply to me.

simba1998 − I'm going to say YTA. To be clear, I agree that its not a big deal. Hell, I did that type of thing for a while myself. But once the school said she can't do it, and you said you won't stop her, I do think you become the a**hole there. School's may have dumb rules, but all of them aren't worth fighting. I'd argue this is one of them.

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And also, this likely IS illegal, even if she would almost never likely be arrested or face any serious issues outside of the school. I'd bet the things she is selling are things that aren't meant to be individually resold

Sockpuppetsyko − YTA - Clearly there isn't a reason to punish her at home, however you shouldn't be encouraging her to break the school rules. They don't want her doing it, and there is a rather large risk for continuing.

Kecir − YTA. She’s clearly doing something against school rules. It doesn’t matter that it isn’t illegal and her grades are good. What matters is if she is allowed to do it at school and clearly she isn’t. All you’re teaching her is it’s okay to do something you shouldn’t as long as you don’t get caught.

EmpressJainaSolo − YTA for encouraging her to continue when the school has told her otherwise. If you, and her, want to fight to change school rules that’s one thing. If you think they are specifically targeting your daughter due to her success but allow other children to sell products on campus that’s another.

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But to encourage her to continue to do something that’s against a reasonable school rule seems problematic for everyone. The only reason I think she should be punished at all is if she knowingly broke school rules by selling. Banning sales on school property makes sense.

There can be countless problems in a high school when peers shift to customers. Again, if you (and her, that’s really important) disagree then by all means fight to change the rule.. Convenience for you isn’t a good enough reason to encourage her to face school penalties.

grindelwaldd − Hmm, the school *probably* has some kind of rule against selling on the grounds. I think it’s fine for the school to give her detention, but if she hasn’t been told by you or your husband not to sell things at school, then should she really be punished for it by you guys? Soft YTA.

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It’s great shes found a way to make money, but that’s not what school is for. Part time job or doing extra chores around the house in exchange for more pocket money would be more ideal than letting her continue selling things at school. You don’t want to stop her from selling.. so you’re happy for her to be suspended and miss out on education?

MsJonesSci − YTA there are several reasons for schools banning the sale of unapproved food on grounds. 1. It’s a huge liability for them and your daughter as well. If she were to make someone sick or someone thought she was the reason for them getting food poisoning your family could be held responsible. 2. She’s not aware of various food allergies associated with any food even prepackaged foods.

3. Students will skip their actually nutritious lunch just to eat junk food. So schools try to limit the access to those things on school grounds.. I would encourage her to find other ways to hone her entrepreneurial passions..

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Maybe purchase her a book or compile some YouTube resources for making slime or something and sale it online. A part of business is following proper regulations. Don’t teach your daughter to undermine authority when she’s clearly in the wrong for breaking school policy for personal gain.

manywaters318 − I’m just here to point out the fact that most of those multi-pack items have stamps on them saying “Not for resale” for this exact reason.

SuzanneStudies − Where I live, school codes of conduct that students/parents sign at the beginning of the school year expressly forbid this. If that’s the case at your daughter’s school, YTA since you gave your daughter permission to pick and choose which rules she’d like to obey. If it’s not the case, you should fight the detention.

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they nail it? Is Mom coaching a future mogul or handing Amy a “get out of rules free” card? Maybe she’s one vending machine away from a TED Talk—or a principal’s office showdown.

What a wild ride! A mom’s pride in her teen’s snack empire collides with school rules and a dad’s fury, leaving us wondering who’s got the right recipe. Amy’s hustle is pure gold, but skirting policies could cost her more than profits. The Reddit crew leans hard on Mom to rethink her cheerleading, and we’re dying to know where you land. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Spill your thoughts, tips, or tales below—let’s keep this snack chat popping!

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