AITA for saying I (15F) don’t care that a classmate (16NB) has mental illness, and still marking them 0 for a group project?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a high school classroom buzzing with the nervous energy of a major project deadline. The air hums with whispered plans and the faint scratch of pencils as students scramble to polish their work. For one 15-year-old girl, the weight of a group project feels like carrying a backpack stuffed with bricks—especially when a teammate’s absence leaves her hauling the load alone. Frustration simmers as she faces a moral tug-of-war: fairness versus empathy. Readers, brace yourselves for a tale that’ll make you question where duty ends and compassion begins.

This story dives into the messy world of group projects, where one teen’s decision to hold a struggling classmate accountable sparks a heated debate. Did she do the right thing, or was her stance too harsh? Let’s unpack this high-stakes drama and explore the fine line between responsibility and understanding, as shared by a young Redditor navigating school pressures and personal principles.

‘AITA for saying I (15F) don’t care that a classmate (16NB) has mental illness, and still marking them 0 for a group project?’

I am in an advanced class at my school that requires a mini experiment for first semester, and it's 30% of our semester grade, so a big deal. We work in groups, and we each have our own roles, so materials/ethics, design/procedure, etc. We also have a group proposal we have to submit, and then once we turn it in, we also evaluate our group members.

The group evaluation is worth 40% of the project grade, so if all of your group members agree that you did 0 work, you would get 40% off. The classmate in question was the design/procedures lead. They rarely came to our group meetings, didn't respond to texts, and (if) they turned in their section, it was always late and poorly done.

We had two weekly meetings at a set time, every week for two months, and they only came to one of them (the very first, and none other). I even texted reminders the day of the meeting, then ten minutes before the meeting. I would send them the stuff they should complete by our next meeting, and they did not do it.

They were supposed to complete their individual part (design/procedures), so that we could submit it as part of our rough draft group proposal. They did not submit it until over a week AFTER it was due, so for our rough draft I ended up writing their part for them.

I did literally all of their work for them, because each time they submitted the work it was far after the deadline/when we needed it. When they did submit it, it was sloppily done, max one sentence per category with no elaboration, so we still had to rework it.

My other group members and I were obviously irritated by this, so we were in consensus that we would be giving them a 0 on the group evaluation. The class period where we were given the group member evaluation, they finally showed up and begged us to not rate them 0, because it didn't affect us either way, they were struggling with depression and anxiety,

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and they were barely passing and summer school would destroy their mental health. I told them I don't care, and that they should have told the teacher that instead of making us waste our time picking up after them. I still rated them a 0, and my other group members told me they did too.

Group projects can feel like herding cats, especially when one teammate goes AWOL. In this case, the student’s frustration is palpable—she did her classmate’s work to keep the project afloat. The classmate’s last-minute plea, citing depression and anxiety, adds a layer of complexity. Both sides have valid points: the student values fairness, while the classmate seeks empathy for their struggles. But what happens when personal challenges clash with collective responsibility?

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This scenario reflects a broader issue: how schools handle mental health in academic settings. According to a 2023 study by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 50% of high school students report struggling with mental health, yet only 14% receive adequate support (nami.org). The classmate’s failure to communicate early left the group in a lurch, highlighting a gap in school resources.

Dr. John Walkup, a child psychiatrist, notes, “Teens with mental health challenges need structured support, like accommodations through school counselors, to succeed academically” (psychiatrictimes.com). Here, the classmate’s delay in seeking help shifted the burden onto peers, which isn’t fair. Dr. Walkup’s insight suggests early intervention could have balanced empathy with accountability.

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For students in similar situations, proactive communication is key. If a teammate struggles, notify the teacher early to explore accommodations like extended deadlines or solo tasks. This approach respects everyone’s efforts while addressing individual needs, fostering a fairer team dynamic.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s got a knack for serving up raw, unfiltered takes, and this story got the community buzzing like a hive of opinionated bees. Here’s what they had to say:

xophidian − NTA- Their work was not your responsibility. You did your part and they didn’t do theirs. Y’all don’t deserve to be penalized or have extra weight to pull because of that. If they couldn’t get the work done they should have reached out to the teacher for accommodations. They knew the consequences and knew they were leaving y’all to do the extra work.

OrneryFish8 − NTA your teammate should have been upfront about their mental health issues and how it would impact their participation in the project from the beginning, not at the end as the excuse why they didn’t do their part. If they can’t manage the courseload right now, then you wouldn’t be doing them any favors by letting them pass.

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[Reddit User] − They did not submit it until over a week AFTER it was due. NTA - they didn't do the work, they don't deserve the marks. Easy conclusion. Their mental illness is irrelevant. If it's too hard, they can take an easier class.

raccoongutz − my last semester at uni was basically ruined by my mental health - i didn’t have the energy to complete assessments in my depression swings and my manic swings weren’t much better. you know what though? it was still my responsibility to hand in what i could do to the best of my ability. you’re nta. don’t let anyone make you feel that way.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If they could not handle the class due to their mental health issues, don't take it. It did affect the group. You did extra work, which meant extra time on that class that could been spent focusing on other classes. Give them a 0. And I know how hard it can to deal with depression and anxiety. I have bipolar 2 and GAD (general anxiety disorder) and I still made sure my part of a group project was complete and of quality work.

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Fafalle − When you have mental health issues that impact your ability to do schoolwork on time, it should be discussed with the teacher on the VERY FIRST DAY. This is unacceptable, the teacher should’ve either given that student an assignment they could do alone or your entire team extra time,

and extra help for burdening you with someone who’s unable to work as part of a group. And I say this as someone who’s been plagued by mental illness since my early teens. I always *always* made sure my teachers knew what was going on.

NTA - I recommend you bring this up to your teacher, if he ignores you, bring it up to the principal. It’s the school’s responsibility to make sure all students have the same opportunity to learn, and by sticking you with someone who can’t do their part (even if it’s not their fault), they’re messing with that.

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Echos_myron123 − NTA - I am a former teacher. I would have preferred the struggling student to come directly to me rather than put you guys through the trouble. Any teacher with basic compassion would offer an extension or alternative project to a student struggling with mental health issues, but that's the job of the teacher to fix, not other students.

This is also an indictment on the terrible mental health services most schools offer. Young people are in crisis and nobody should expect other teenagers to solve these problems. My last school had 1 counselor for hundreds of kids. So look at it as a systemic problem rather than something you should be expected to solve.

redditor191389 − NTA, I feel for them that they’re struggling and I sincerely hope they get help to improve, but they should have been upfront about this to the teacher, who could have worked with you all to make suitable accommodations such as extensions perhaps.. If they did not do the work, they do not deserve the grade.

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Crazycatlover − NTA. My mental health got really, really bad when I was in a demanding program. I didn't come to my professors until we were 10 weeks into a 16 week long semester, and I was failing all my classes. They all said that if I had come to them about a month earlier, we could have come up with accommodations for me to complete the coursework.

But by the time I did, it was too late. If this young person had talked to the teacher (and not their fellow group members) earlier on, the two of them might have been able to work out an alternative. But they didn't and now must face the music. Your words you choose could have been kinder, but they don't make you TA.

Your classmate is probably right that summer school would be a toil on their mental health, but that's a conversation they need to have with their parents and the school's disability office. In my case, my professors gave me incompletes at 10 weeks, encouraged me to take the rest of the semester off, and helped me find community mental health resources (one of them helped me jump ahead in line to see a psychiatrist).

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Then I retook those classes the next semester and did fine. The first day with my new cohort was a bit awkward because everyone knew I'd been held back a semester. I just said that I'd needed to take time off for my health though, and no one pushed it. Admittedly, all of us in this program were adults, not teenagers, but repeating a year could turn out to be a really good thing for your classmate.

[Reddit User] − NTA/NAH. Their work and their mental health is not your responsibility. If they're struggling, they need to be reaching out. Which can be easier said than done hence the NAH. But it's not on you to take care of that. Having said that, could you have told the teacher ahead of the final deadline that you were struggling with a teammate? Might have prompted a check-in. Again, though...not doing that doesn't make you an AH.

These Redditors aren’t shy, but do their verdicts hold up in the real world, or are they just armchair judges tossing out hot takes?

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This tale of group project woes leaves us pondering: where’s the line between holding someone accountable and showing compassion? The student stood her ground, prioritizing fairness, but the classmate’s struggles tug at the heartstrings. It’s a messy situation with no perfect answer. What would you do if you were stuck carrying a teammate’s load? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar dilemma, and how did you handle it?

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