AITA for saying a little kid ruined the youth group trip?

The thrill of a Los Angeles youth group adventure—Disneyland, Universal Studios, and beach days—turned sour for a 16-year-old when an unexpected 8-year-old joined the teen-packed trip. Dropped off by a mom who vanished on vacation, the child clung to the group, forcing kid-friendly plans and babysitting duties. Frustrated, the teen vented to a friend that the “little kid” was ruining everything—only for the child to overhear and burst into tears. Now, with a chaperone’s disapproval and a tense vibe, she’s questioning her words.

This Reddit tale dives into the messy clash of teen frustrations and unintended hurt. Readers feel the girl’s irritation but wince at the child’s pain, wondering if her complaint was cruel or just a teen slip-up. Can a moment of honesty go too far when a kid’s involved?

‘AITA for saying a little kid ruined the youth group trip?’

My (f16) church youth group just spent 4 days in LA. We went to Disneyland for 2, Universal Studios for 1, and spent a day at the beach. This trip was supposed to be for kids between 14 and 22 years old with the 18-22 year olds chaperoning but they made an exception for 2 kids,

a 13 year old who will be turning 14 a couple months after the trip and is pretty responsible and can take care of herself, and what was supposed to be another 13 year old about to turn 14. The second kid was really 8 and nobody found out until her mom dropped her off at church. By the time anyone realized she wasn't someone's sibling her mom was already gone. The priest was also there but he didn't really do anything.

They tried calling the kid's mom, who said she couldn't pick the kid up because she was on her way to the airport to go on vacation and that the kid's dad will be picking her up at the end of the trip. There wasn't a name or phone number for the dad on the paperwork and the kid said she didn't know her dad's number because he just got a new number. They ended up letting her go because there wasn't anyone to pick her up.

Basically, the way the trip worked was one of the 18-22 year olds would drive 2-3 14-17 year olds and we'd share a room at the hotel. I ended up sharing a car and room with both the 8 and 13 year olds and Emma (22). Emma's the oldest of 10 so she knows how to take care of kids

and took care of the 8 year old the entire time but everything had to be child friendly all the time except after she'd go to bed the 13 year old would babysit so we could go out (we had a midnight curfew and the kid was in bed by 8).

I was talking to my friend and I said there's a little kid in the room and she's ruining the trip. Well, the kid heard me and wouldn't stop crying. Emma was pissed and said it's ok to feel that way but I can't say stuff like that in the room because she technically didn't do anything wrong and this is her mom's fault. Things were pretty tense after that and Emma was a lot less cool after that so I wanted to know if I was the a**hole.

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This youth trip turmoil highlights the emotional complexity of blending age groups under poor planning, compounded by a shocking case of parental neglect. The teen’s complaint, though insensitive, reflects the natural frustration of a 16-year-old thrust into an unexpected role.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a teen psychology expert, notes in Untangled that “adolescents often lack the filter to express frustrations tactfully, especially under stress” (Psychology Today, link). The 8-year-old’s presence, a result of her mother’s deceit, disrupted the teen-focused itinerary, leaving the girl feeling cheated. Her words, though hurtful, weren’t meant for the child’s ears, but the impact was undeniable.

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A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 35% of teens struggle with empathy in high-pressure group settings (APA.org, link). The mother’s abandonment, leaving no emergency contact, is the true catalyst, with the church’s lax oversight enabling the mess.

Dr. Damour suggests teens learn from such moments through reflection. The girl could apologize to the child, framing her frustration as about the situation, not her, to mend the hurt. The church needs stricter policies to prevent such abandonment cases, protecting all involved.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, mixing sympathy for the teen with sharp jabs at the mom and church. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, fresh from the comments:

HPnerd1026 − Info: why did no one call the police for child abandonment? The mom obviously lied on the paperwork so she could go on vacation herself with no emergency contact information

whimsical-and-witchy − Sounds like your church is the a**hole for allowing the trip to continue past that point when they realized the child was 8! Also what church sends only children on any trip? Sorry 18-22 year olds are still developing their brains too… Anyways, you didn’t intend for the child to overhear what your honest opinion was. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sounds like lessons learned for next time.

sassyangelkiwi − YTA.. Emma nailed it. 'it's ok to feel that way but I can't say stuff like that in the room because she technically didn't do anything wrong and this is her mom's fault.'. 100% That poor kid was ABANDONED by her uncontactable parents, and was the ONLY kid her age there,

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don't you think she was acutely aware of that? What if something happened to her on that trip? Nobody could even contact the parents, soooo not ok!! Poor kids parents really need to be investigated by CPS

She didn't ruin anything, her mother and father did ...and you were insensitive and unkind by saying that the front of her. It wasn't her fault and she was probably feeling really hurt and really alone and abandoned.

Fritemare − Yeah, YTA. The 8 year old has an irresponsible mom, that isn't their fault. You can control yourself and not talk badly in the same room you are sharing with the 8 year old. What you said was mean and s**tty.. Edited because apparently it's mom, not parents.

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sarahlampi − YTA for saying that. Her mom literally lied and dumped her off.. Mom is a huge ass Priest should have demanded the mom take the child to her father and not allowed her to go on the trip.. And church should never have had the 18-22 year old chaperoning the children. This whole trip sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. ESH

[Reddit User] − YTA Emma already outlined why. It's not 'because you made the kid cry and Emma was pissed' that you are TA, by the way; it's because you complained about the kid *within earshot of her*, which is downright rude no matter if she started crying or not.. Don't badmouth people when they're within earshot. Preferably don't talk s**t about them at all.

[Reddit User] − Yeah, YTA. This kid didn't ruin your trip : the kid's mother did. This poor kid was abandoned by her own mother, just take a second to imagine how she must have felt. Then you told her she ruined the trip... poor kid

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Pavlock − NTA Speaking frankly like that in ear shot wasn't the best idea, but I don't expect a 16 year old to have the same level of experience or emotional maturity as an adult. I would encourage you to learn from this, but you're not the root cause of this.. I feel bad for the little kid, none of this was her fault.

The real AH in this situation is the mom. *Hard* AH. The adult leaders in this were stupid/s**tty for allowing the kids to come.. Edit to add: I noticed the actual plan was to have 18 - 22 year old driving kids around. That's a time bomb waiting to go off. An 18 year old is no where near mature or experienced to be carting a bunch of only slightly less mature kids. I'd be interested in hearing what your church's insurance company thinks of it.

Flashy-Promise-6915 − YTA It wasn’t the kids fault and you can probably admit that your words will stick with the child for a long time. They probably realised that they shouldn’t have been there due to age and to top it, their mum refused to come back. Instead of making a good thing out of a difficult situation on a church trip, you made that kid feel more unwanted.

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Moon96Moon − Their mother really abandoned the kid like nothing?? She's the real* ah here

These Redditors split on the teen’s fault, with most slamming the mom’s abandonment and the church’s negligence. Some called the girl out for her harsh words; others saw her as a kid caught in a bad spot. But do these takes capture the full dynamic, or are they just stoking the drama?

This story of a misspoken complaint shows how a teen’s frustration can wound an innocent child, especially when adults fail to set boundaries. The girl’s slip, rooted in a botched trip plan, raises questions about empathy, responsibility, and the weight of words. How would you handle a kid crashing your teen plans? What’s the line between venting and hurting? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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