AITA for say you are not my mother?

An unexpected Mother’s Day gift request ignited a family feud when a sister demanded her brother buy her an iPhone 15 ProMax . The man, though fond of his sister, bluntly refused, arguing she’s not his mother and he’s not responsible for her child. This left her hurt, and their parents piled on pressure for him to reconsider, escalating into a heated argument.

Was the brother too harsh in saying no? Let’s unpack the full tale and the lively feedback from the online community, sharing takes on entitlement and family support.

‘AITA for say you are not my mother?’

The story starts with a strained family dynamic and an out-of-the-blue request.

My sister Lisa (24) had a baby six months ago. This was a problem for the family because my sister still lives with my parents. Only has worked part time...

My sister contacted me about her mother’s day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment with her baby. I...

The conflict grew when the sister felt insulted and the parents stepped in.

She cried to my mom about how rude I was to her and how I don’t love her or my nephew. My parents tried to convince me to go half...

My mom also offered to get the new phone through her carrier and we could do monthly payments. I said no again stating my sister is not my responsibility.

The argument turned fiery when the brother pointed the finger at the baby’s father.

My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price and I told my mom it took two people to...

My mom called me an a__hole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument. I do not...

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A Mother’s Day gift can become a flashpoint when family boundaries are tested.

The brother’s refusal to buy an iPhone is reasonable, as he has no financial or moral obligation for his sister’s choices. His blunt delivery, especially calling her decisions “stupid,” likely deepened the hurt and fueled the conflict.

Family therapist Dr. Susan Forward notes, “Unclear expectations in families can spark conflict, especially when money is a sensitive issue” (Toxic Parents). The sister seems to seek emotional and financial support, but demanding an expensive gift is unrealistic, particularly given the family’s struggles.

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The parents’ push to keep the peace by pressuring the brother creates unfairness. Society often expects siblings to support each other unconditionally, but this isn’t practical when personal boundaries are crossed. Suggesting child support from the father is logical, though his delivery may have felt judgmental.

The brother should have a private talk with his sister, expressing care for her and her son while clarifying he can’t meet large financial demands. A small, thoughtful gift like a photo frame or album for Mother’s Day could be a kind gesture. Encouraging the family to pursue legal child support could ease long-term financial strain.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The online community jumped in, with most backing the brother’s stance on personal boundaries.

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Many users found the sister’s demand absurd, especially given the family’s financial strain.

KBD_in_PDX − INFO if your parents and sister are having a hard time financially, why would they shell out $$$ for a new, unnecessary iphone? NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA My sister contacted me about her mother’s day gift and told me she wanted a iphone 15 max pro so she can capture the special moment...

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Huh? She thinks her sibling has to buy her a mother's day present because she had a baby? I have never bought my siblings or siblings in law a gift...

My parents tried to convince me to go half with them on a phone to make it up to my sister and I said no. My mom also offered to...

My mom admitted that my parents and my sister have had some money issues because everything is up in price. .. And so is everyone else. It's the reason why...

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My mom called me an a__hole for that and said she doesn’t even want to see me this weekend and I’m ok about it after this argument. .. Fair enough....

YouthNAsia63 − Your sister isn’t your mother or the mother of your child. She is a mother, yes, as are, ya know, billions of other people in the world that...

If your sister wants an iphone she can get an older one or a used one or whatever she wants-but how she gets it is not your responsibility. Your sister...

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Some focused on the parents’ role in indulging the sister’s demands, putting unfair pressure on the brother.

Accurate-Ad-4905 − NTA, your sister sounds super entitled and your parents sound super enabling

glimmerseeker − NTA. It’s wild that just because your sister got pregnant she’s expecting you to give her a mother’s day gift. She sounds ridiculously entitled and your parents are...

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Their life will now be supporting her and her kid. You owe her nothing and she and her baby are not your responsibility.

Others emphasized the brother’s right to set boundaries and suggested realistic fixes, like seeking child support.

secondarytrash − NTA The entitlement and expectation is wild. iPhones aren’t cheap to buy outright, or even go halves on. And yeah, I’ve allowed people on my plan/monthly payments,

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but with the confidence they’ll pay 100% of their own - I’m not paying s__t for them. It’s a risk you willingly take though when you allow it.

rationalboundaries − NTA. Good job nipping that b.s. in the bud!

PD_31 − NTA. Baby's daddy can buy the Mother's Day gift

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somewhat-sane-in-NYC − NTA! ! Your sister is a huge entitled AH. .. and your parents are insane. ..

surfinforthrills − NTA. Good for you for not indulging your spoiled sister. If she needs a phone, she better get working. I don't even understand the logic behind a sister...

The community largely agrees the brother isn’t responsible for his sister’s unrealistic demands, stressing the importance of personal boundaries and practical responsibility.

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Personal boundaries shield you from unreasonable expectations, but gentle communication can preserve family ties. Support doesn’t mean shouldering others’ burdens—it’s about balancing care with independence.

What would you do if a family member asked you to fund an expensive gift you found unreasonable? Share your thoughts!

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