AITA for sabotaging my brother’s plan to cheat an exam?

Ellen Andrade Hours
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The dinner table was a mess of crumpled school papers, a silent battlefield of a busy household. Amid the chaos, one sheet stood out—girly handwriting and heart doodles framing what looked like a science exam. For one sibling, this wasn’t just clutter; it was a gut-punch revelation about their 11-year-old brother’s plan to cheat. The discovery sparked a whirlwind of emotions—disbelief, worry, and a nagging sense of responsibility to set things right.

What do you do when someone you love is about to cross a line? The sibling tried reasoning, pleading, even bluffing, but the brother’s stubbornness left them with a tough choice. The fallout was messy, trust was bruised, and Reddit’s armchair judges weighed in with fiery takes. This tale of family loyalty and moral dilemmas pulls you in, making you wonder where you’d stand in the heat of the moment.

‘AITA for sabotaging my brother’s plan to cheat an exam?’

My little brother (11) has a terrible habit of leaving his school papers all over the table. I was clearing them away so we could eat and noticed a paper really out of place with girly handwriting and heart doodles in the margins. I was curious and on autopilot so pulled it out and looked at it and realized it was a copy of his upcoming science exam.

I know, because I had his science teacher and it was one of the exact same exams I took. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize he’d bought a copy to cheat off of. I still can’t believe it. That’s really not like him, I swear. I went to his room and confronted him with it and told him all the reasons cheating is ultimately not worth and that I’d help him study.

But I wasn’t getting through so finally I tried telling him the exams change every year, but he knew I was lying about that, because everyone knows about this teacher. (The exams come with the textbook and the teacher is too lazy to mix up the letters from the original answer key.)

I really didn’t want my brother to get into the habit of cheating but I knew if I told my parents anything they did would just teach him to not get caught, it wouldn’t teach him not to cheat. So I figured experience is the best teacher. I went to the science teacher and told her I’d come across a copy of her exam for sale so she should be careful.

Surprise surprise, my brother failed his exam. He’s in huge trouble and he knows somethings up with my finding out and the exam suddenly changing. The “cheating isn’t worth the risk” lesson didn’t sink in and all he got was “my brother is a two faced d**k.”. I feel awful, but I wouldn’t have wanted to just not do anything, either... AITA?

Teaching a child not to cheat is like steering a ship through a storm—tricky but crucial. This sibling faced a classic moral tug-of-war: protect their brother or uphold integrity. According to Dr. Michele Borba, a parenting expert, “Kids cheat when they feel pressured to succeed at all costs, but long-term, it erodes self-confidence and learning” (source). Here, the brother’s shortcut was a cry for help, not just rebellion.

The sibling’s choice to alert the teacher was bold but risky. It ensured fairness but strained trust, as the brother felt betrayed. Borba suggests guiding kids toward accountability, like offering study support, which the sibling tried first. Statistically, 74% of middle schoolers admit to cheating under academic pressure, highlighting a broader issue of performance-driven stress.

Dr. Borba’s advice—fostering open dialogue—could’ve softened the blow. The sibling might’ve involved a trusted adult to mediate, preserving their bond while addressing the cheating. Still, their intent was noble: to teach a lesson about consequences. This story reflects a universal struggle: balancing loyalty with ethics in family ties.

For others in similar spots, experts recommend clear communication and modeling honesty. Resources like Character.org offer tools to build integrity in kids. The sibling’s heart was in the right place, but rebuilding trust now is key to mending this family rift.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and jeers for the sibling’s tough-love tactic. It was like a virtual family reunion where everyone’s got an opinion and no one’s shy about it. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

endableism − NTA. You didn't even directly implicate your brother. You just made it so he couldn't cheat. Now he's going to actually have to learn the material in order to do well. Frankly, I'm proud of you. Hard choice, but the right one.

lavenderrabe − NTA. Even if it didn't sink in for him I bet it did for some other kids, and at least the teacher now knows to switch up the exam!

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Jimbo_myboi − Even in college. I had a guy tell me. 4.0 are not for the smartest people. They are for the people willing to cheat.

YardageSardage − Let's be clear about this: he didn't fail because you sabotaged him. He failed because he **didn't learn the material**. He was planning to cheat in order to get away with not learning a damn thing the teacher had been trying to teach him,

and that's just letting him waste his own time.One of the most important lessons he needs to pick up from school at this age is *how to learn* in order to set himself up for future academic success, ans that means not letting him cheat his way into the easy road.

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You may have lost some of his trust for doing this, because he's a kid and kids are dramatic and short-sighted, but you did it for the right reasons and tried your best to communicate with him. It was a little bit of tough love, and hopefully he forgives you soon for not taking his side. NTA

[Reddit User] − YTA and here is why: you said the exams come with the textbooks, and the teacher is too lazy to change the order of the answers. Therefore, we can assume that every student has access to the questions at the very least. And the teacher is most probably aware of it, too. To be honest, I'd think he'd be dumb not to get a correct answer sheet and study from it.

Paying money for it is another thing, but I only see your assumption that he did so. I'm not from the US, so my experience at university differs. For students, it is basic knowledge that professors will use similar, if not the same exam every semester. In med school, we almost exclusively do multiple choice tests,

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and a student not studying the previous variants would have to be a genius to just pass them on the first attempt. It would be better to know the material he's studying, especially since he's only 11, and not to pay money for it.

But looking at previous exams and studying the topics mentioned there? That's not cheating, that's spending your time wisely. As long as he doesn't take the sheet with him into the exam room, and his class mates have the chance to use the same ressources, I don't really see a problem.

peepopsicle − NTA if he didn't want to get in trouble he shouldn't have cheated

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standragula- − NTA. you taught him a good lesson and i think in the future he’ll be grateful you did. in the long run, cheating is not only not going to benefit him it’s going to harm him. if he were to have made a habit of this behavior, he’d be learning little to nothing from going to school. and if he had aced his exam, but then did poorly in the class overall, his teacher would probably have caught on.

Florence_Fae − YTA - Having morals is great but intentionally causing your sibling to fail an exam is a d**k move regardless and realistically all it’s going to do is make him resent you. Cheating is obviously wrong and I’m not advocating it but there are plenty of ways you could have taught them an actual lesson and helped them instead of teaching them not to trust you.

I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but I have a younger brother and have been in this situation and other similar ones many times over the years and you doing this in his eyes doesn’t come across as “my big brother is trying to help me and better me as a person” it’s more “my big brother is a chode and a snitch who I can’t rely on or trust”.

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biddyboi − You might not be an a**hole ethically. But your a d**k head brother.

[Reddit User] − Idk man. I don't wanna say YTA but this is definitely not the way to get somebody to stop cheating lol.

These Redditors swung from applause for the sibling’s ethics to shade for their “snitch” move. Some saw it as a masterclass in accountability; others called it a trust-busting fumble. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This story leaves you chewing on a big question: where’s the line between teaching a lesson and breaking trust? The sibling rolled the dice on tough love, hoping to steer their brother straight, but the fallout shows how messy family dilemmas can get. It’s a reminder that doing the “right” thing doesn’t always feel good. What would you do if you caught a loved one cheating—talk it out, step in, or let it slide? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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