AITA for running away from my Dad’s family after I found out that I was gonna have another sibling?

Caught in a suburban storm, a 14-year-old girl faced a life no teen should endure. Buried under endless childcare and chores, her dreams of school success faded as her dad’s demands grew heavier. When news of another sibling hit, her frustration boiled over, pushing her to flee to her grandmother’s haven.

Her Reddit tale grips the heart, sparking debates on family roles and fairness. Readers rally for her fight to reclaim her youth, proving kids shouldn’t play parent. Let’s unpack her bold escape and the wisdom it unveils.

‘AITA for running away from my Dad’s family after I found out that I was gonna have another sibling?’

I (14F) grew up with my dad and stepmother (aka. my dad's official wife). 5 years ago, my dad cheated on my stepmom and he got his mistress pregnant, let's call her Emily. I left both of my dad and Emily since I knew that I will be taking care of the baby. I was 9 that time

As far as I remembered, my dad barely spoke to me and give me monthly allowance. Which is why I moved in my grandma (mom's mother). Last year HE texted me and insisted that I move back in with them, so I decided to give it a go. I wanted to be involved my stepsister's life aswell since I thought that it would be great. But oh boy I was so wrong.

For the next few months I live there, it was a nightmare. Dad expected me to clean the house everyday while taking care of my sister. (ps. I have online classes and need to answer my modules to pass it on time) my schedule was to get up 8 in the morning and babysit my sister the whole day.

At 9pm-4am I would answer my modules which was exhausting, I never got the chance to attend any of my online classes because of it. So when my dad announces that Emily is 4 months pregnant. I was furious knowing that I would be the one taking care of the baby.

I had an argument with my dad and confronted him about the situation and he said 'You are free to go back to your useless mother. I don't care anymore'. I thought that my dad's family side was gonna be angry at him. But instead they told me that 'I have to accept it' and play the role of a good sister.

But I wasn't having it. I immediately texted my mom and since it was lockdown, it took her days to find a ride for me to go back in my grandma's place. It was a good time for me to go since they would be at the hospital for checkups. But before I left, I texted my dad saying 'Dad I'm going home'

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And at 11pm I received a message from my dad saying how Emily nearly died last night, and he left my sister in the house for 3 hours thinking I was there. But I couldn't care less anymore. We don't talk anymore but I'm starting to question myself, was I in wrong?

This teenager’s ordeal screams parentification, where a child is thrust into adult roles. Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes in her book Untangled that “when children are asked to take on responsibilities beyond their years, it can disrupt their emotional and academic development.”

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This girl’s struggle to juggle childcare with online schooling is a glaring red flag. Her father’s expectation that she act as a live-in nanny while dismissing her education isn’t just unfair—it’s neglectful. The news of another sibling only fueled her fear of being trapped.

The conflict is clear: her dad views her as free labor, while she’s fighting for her childhood. Parentification often stems from parental overwhelm or entitlement, as seen in her dad’s dismissive “go back to your useless mother” retort. His family’s push for her to “accept” her role reflects a troubling norm in some households, where older siblings—especially girls—are expected to sacrifice. Studies show parentified children face higher risks of anxiety and depression, highlighting the stakes.

Dr. Damour’s perspective fits perfectly: this girl’s academic struggles and exhaustion are warning signs. Her escape was a brave act of self-preservation. Experts recommend setting firm boundaries and leaning on trusted adults, like her grandmother, who provided a safe space. For others in similar situations, documenting incidents and contacting school counselors or child welfare services can help.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community came out swinging with candid, fiery takes on this family saga. Here’s what they had to say:

Veilchengerd − NTA. Your father abused you by having you 'look after' (more like raise) your sibling.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Cut off all contact with him till he apologizes to you. Even after that, **DO NOT GO BACK TO THAT HOUSE** no matter how much they try to convince you. Your dad, stepmother and his family are major assholes and they do not deserve you in his life. What they are doing is parentifying you.. Also info: How much custody does each parent have?

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reyballesta − NTA. if he's so neglectful of his household and his child that he couldn't even check the f**king house to make sure someone was there to WATCH HIS CHILD, then-well, first off, he needs to be investigated for criminal n**lect, Jesus Christ doing cartwheels, that's ridiculous-then he needs to actually step up

and be a f**king parent for two seconds and at least maybe PAY for childcare. you are not a live-in babysitter just because you're an older sibling. that is not your job, it is never your job, it is HIS and the mother's job as parents. do not ever feel bad about the fact that you aren't stepping up for them. that is *their* responsibility.

winesis − NTA call CPS & report him for leaving a small child home alone for hours.

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[Reddit User] − OK kiddo. Listen. You didn't 'run away from home'. You left your father's house to *go back* to live with your grandma who has been taking care of you and acting as a parent for you. Your father was taking advantage of you by making you watch your younger half sister all day, resulting in you missing school.

That's called 'parentification', making a kid into working like a parent for their sibling. You did the right thing. Your schoolwork was suffering. Another infant was on the way, and it's likely your father would have required even more caretaking from you. Your schoolwork (and personal life, and social life) would have gotten worse.

When the house was empty, you texted your dad that you were leaving. Later, your dad dropped off his 4-5 year old child *without bothering to make sure someone was home*. He was stupid and didn't do basic parenting to make sure his kd was safe. That was completely his fault, not yours. It's time to block your father and his wife on your social media and phone.

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It seems that all they want is a full time babysitter. You have school. You shouldn't listen to them blaming you or calling you names. It's time to ignore them and focus on high school and being a teenager. It's OK to do that. You could talk with your grandma about your dad. Only if you feel comfortable about discussing it with her. But that depends on your relationship between you and grandma.

blairwaldorfbass_ny − NTA. Neither of that is your responsability.

[Reddit User] − NTA - None of this ever should have been your responsibility. But consider having your grandmother call cps to share your story with authorities.

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FunnyRingaling − And at 11pm I received a message from my dad saying how Emily nearly died last night, If that's true, what a useless person. Couldn't even figure out how to keep breathing after their child slave left

Deucalion666 − NTA your father is a failure of a parent.

happybanana134 − NTA. You're not his free help. Don't go back there. You gotta focus on school and your own future.

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These opinions pack a punch, but do they tell the whole story? The crowd’s united in slamming the dad’s neglect, but real life’s rarely so simple.

This teen’s escape from a house that demanded too much is a stark reminder: kids aren’t mini-adults. Her courage to prioritize her education and mental health over family pressure inspires, yet it raises questions about forgiveness and boundaries. Should she ever reconnect with her dad, or is cutting contact the only way? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments—let’s keep this conversation alive!

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