AITA for “running away from home” at 18?

In a cramped suburban home buzzing with five siblings, an 18-year-old dreams of freedom from a grueling hour-and-a-half bus ride to school. Sharing a room with their sister, they’ve pleaded with their parents for years to move out, only to be met with Mom’s firm “You’re not ready.” Dad’s silent nods offer no relief. Tired of waiting, they seize their legal adulthood, pack their bags, and slip out at dawn, leaving a note to explain their leap to independence.

Hours later, Mom’s tearful call floods their phone, begging them to return. Guilt creeps in, but so does resolve—they’ve earned this shot at a less crowded life. Was leaving without a face-to-face goodbye too harsh? This Reddit tale unpacks the tug-of-war between family ties and personal freedom.

‘AITA for “running away from home” at 18?’

I've been talking to my mom (49F) and my dad (51M) about wanting to move on my own for years now, since we live pretty far away from my school and I have to ride the bus for one and a half hours every day. I have 5 siblings and we're pretty crowded: I had to live in the same room with my sister (15F).

My mom has always refused to even talk about it, she just says that 'I'm not ready for it' and my dad just nods along with her. So a two days ago I finally decided to go through with my plans, because I'm a legal adult now. I've been preparing for the move for a while now, but now I went through with it.

I have a side-job to pay for the rent and food and my friend let me stay at her place (she lives on her own) until the place I'll move to frees up. I left a note explaining what I had done and packed my bags and left early in the morning. What do you know, my mom calls me crying almost immediately she sees the note and begs for me to come back.

I'm thinking of cutting contact to her altogether since I don't want her to inhibit me any more. I've set this up myself and I have every right to do it. I think I deserve this independence and plus I'm even doing her a service by clearing up the house. But I still feel sort of bad for her since she seemed so desparate for me to come back and talk to her. AITA?

The teen’s move reflects a bold step toward autonomy, but their mom’s distress highlights a communication gap. Family therapist Dr. Susan Stiffelman notes, “Transitions like moving out challenge parents’ sense of control, often triggering emotional outbursts” . The parents’ refusal to discuss the move left the teen feeling dismissed, pushing them to act unilaterally.

This taps into a broader issue: navigating independence in tight-knit families. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Issues found 63% of young adults face parental resistance when seeking independence . The teen’s note was a courtesy, but a prior conversation might have softened the blow. Dr. Stiffelman suggests setting boundaries while maintaining empathy. The teen could reassure their mom of their love while standing firm on their decision.

For solutions, the teen might try low-contact for now, giving their mom time to adjust . A calm sit-down later could clarify their reasons, fostering understanding without sacrificing their new life.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit cheered the teen’s bold move, but urged caution on cutting ties completely. From praising their hustle to suggesting kinder communication, here’s what they said:

SeePerspectives - NTA for moving out YWBTA for jumping straight to the idea of going no contact rather than learning how to set boundaries like an adult.

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SuddenlySarah_ - NTA From the sounds of it they were just refusing to talk to you about moving out. This gave you no choice but to just go. Sure you could have given them verbal notice but I have no idea how that would have gone for you.

I think you should explain to them why you went about it the way that you did, set some boundaries with them and have a sit down to weigh the pros and cons of going no contact.. It's a serious decision to make that takes serious thought. Maybe try low contact and see how that goes?

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NoxWild - NTA. You didn't 'run away.' Stop using that phrase and don't let anyone else use it to describe your action. You simply made a plan to move out and then did so. You do not need your parents permission or blessing to live where you want.

Your mother is responsible for handling her own emotions about this. You gave her the opportunity to discuss your impending move with you, but she rudely dismissed you by announcing 'You're not ready for it.' That's not her call to make, obviously. Give her a week or two to get used to the idea that you are gone and you are not coming back before you converse with her about it.

wee_idjit - TLDR: Grownups talk about s**t. You don't say whether you have finished high school, but I am guessing not because you got a side job to pay rent/food. For most adults we just call that a job. So if you are not planning any further education I guess you can do as you choose, being 18, but is the question really AITA or is it was I kind?

Your mom just said she thought you weren't mature enough to move on your own, and you moved out without notice. Now you are thinking to go no contact because...she cried? And you don't mention any abuse or mean behavior, just sharing a bedroom and having a long bus ride.

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If you are old enough to move out and support yourself from now on, then go ahead, but keeping good relationships is important enough to be worth talking to your folks. You have to learn that skill some time because it is crucial in adult life. Spouses, bosses, etc will need communication, even when you feel emotional. Maybe I missed something, but it sounds like you could be a bit kinder to your mom. So maybe NTA, but not kind either.

[Reddit User] - NTA It's not even running away, it's just moving out. You're a grown adult. How you live your life on your own is your business. And you don't owe anyone a relationship either.. Your life is your own. Live it.

ree1778 - You're not an AH for moving out, but I wonder if you're ready to be an adult when you snuck away instead of just telling them what you're doing. Cutting contact with your family is usually reserved for bad situations and all your Mom is concerned about is that you're not ready yet. I get that you're nervous about talking to them and them trying to talk you out of this, but that's what being an adult is, you deal with uncomfortable situations and do what's best for you.

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Andante79 - NTA. You didn't run away, you moved out : this is what adults (usually) do. Your mom is way, WAY overreacting. I'd say it would would a nuclear option to go no contact, but maybe an information diet for now, with contact happening at *your* convenience, not hers?

suss-out - NTA- I feel like I am talking to someone from a different planet. I have 4 siblings and I was given a map and told I could find my way when I started University. I saw all the kids being dropped off at dorms and apartments by tearful parents and I was just there by myself.

You need space. Parents do not have to be nearly so hands off as mine, but I think being able to make your own choices, and above all, your own mistakes, is what a good parent does. You will have some problems as you live on your own and you will learn from them.. Give your mom time to adjust, but stand your ground.

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HeavyGogs - Something is off with this story. Feels like there's more to.it

Pawpricez - NTA for moving out - I moved out (closer to 'running away') at 18 as well. My mother threw a fit when she found out and tried to take all of my money, but that's a different story. I was made to live in a hoarder's house and had all my boundaries stomped all over. But this was an abusive relationship, so I had no choice but to cut the cord and go no contact.

Moving out is just a part of growing up - they'll need to accept it can happen to any and all their kids when they grow up. I wouldn't go completely no contact - that would seem a**hole-ish and unwarranted from what I can read, as I assume there isn't abuse and things are okay aside from the issues laid out here.

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Maybe wait a week or two for the dust to settle, and then talk to them about it. Depending on how they act towards you in that call, figure from there if you want normal contact, lower contact or no contact.. Congratulations for moving out, by the way!

These Reddit insights back the teen’s freedom, but do they overlook the emotional weight of family bonds?

This story of a quiet exit and a mom’s tears shows how independence can strain family ties. The teen’s move was their right, but their mom’s pain deserves a nod. A little more talk might have eased the sting, but their hustle is undeniable. How would you balance family feelings with your own dreams? Share your thoughts below!

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