AITA for ruining my sister in laws gender announcement?

In a sun-dappled backyard, the scent of roast lamb still lingered from Sunday lunch when a family gathering took a sharp turn. A proud father of three daughters, our protagonist found himself at the center of a storm, sparked by a seemingly innocent gender reveal. His sister-in-law’s balloon-popping moment was meant to be joyous, but her pointed jab about his “girl-only” family lit a fuse, leading to a fiery exchange that left the party in stunned silence.

This tale isn’t just about a ruined celebration—it’s about standing up for love, family, and the kids who make your heart sing, no matter their gender. Readers, brace yourselves for a story that’s equal parts heartwarming and infuriating, as we dive into a Reddit saga where one dad’s clapback stole the show.

‘AITA for ruining my sister in laws gender announcement?’

So I (31m) have three beautiful daughters (7,5,2) which for some reason people in my life think I’m not completely happy with. If I had a pound for every time I heard “I bet you wished you had a son” or “are you ever gonna try again for a boy” I’d be a millionaire.

Look if my (30)wife got pregnant again and had a boy My reaction would be the same as the other three imo as long as your child is healthy who honestly cares? The worse and most annoying people towards my wife “given me a son” are my sister in law (29)who has 4 now pregnant with the 5th boys and my(57)mother in law.

Btw I should mention nether of are cultures (Irish/English) care about about gender. Last Sunday we were at my mother in laws for Sunday lunch and my sil said after desert to come out to the back garden as they had a ballon to announce the gender of their new baby.

Well long story short she is having another boy after everyone congratulated her, she made her way to us and said. “I bet you wish just once it would be blue for you guys” than turned to my wife and said “it’s never to late to try again”. It royally pissed me off because my oldest was in ear shot.

I turned to her and said “well actually Alice I wouldn’t give one of my daughters dirty socks for what boys were in Europe and the fact you base your love on your child’s gender says a lot about you as a mother, I don’t need a son so I suggest you take your advice and stick it”.

She stuttered for a second than burst out into tears saying I was putting her and her kids down. The mood was ruined after that and we left. Since than my in laws said she deserves and apology as it’s been along running joke so I shouldn’t have driven my sister in law to tears.

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Family gatherings can be a minefield, especially when gender expectations creep into the conversation. This dad’s story highlights a clash of values—pride in his daughters versus his sister-in-law’s fixation on boys. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Respect and acceptance are key to healthy family dynamics” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the sister-in-law’s remarks undermine that respect, subtly implying the dad’s family is “lesser” for lacking a son.

The dad’s frustration is understandable. His sister-in-law’s comments, though framed as a “joke,” carry a sting of judgment, especially when said within earshot of his daughters. This reflects a broader societal issue: gender bias in family planning. A 2021 study from Pew Research shows 40% of parents face pressure to have a specific gender, often rooted in outdated cultural norms (source: Pew Research). The dad’s retort, while sharp, defends his daughters’ worth and challenges this bias head-on.

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Dr. Gottman’s advice to “turn toward each other” could guide this family. The dad might consider a calm conversation with his sister-in-law, expressing how her words affect his daughters. For her part, she could reflect on why she feels compelled to make such comments. Open dialogue, grounded in mutual respect, could mend this rift.

For readers facing similar jabs, try redirecting the conversation with humor or confidence: “My kids are perfect as they are—full stop.” Setting boundaries early prevents resentment from festering, keeping family gatherings joyful rather than tense.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s verdict? Oh, it’s spicy! The community rallied behind our dad, serving up opinions with a side of sass. Here are some of their hottest takes:

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Foxykid09 − NTA. I come from a culture (African American and muslim) where they prefer boys and hearing other family members only dote on my older brother it leaves you feeling unwanted. You were only sticking up for your daughters and your wife. As long as kids are healthy and its a safe pregnancy is all that matters. People need to stop preffering one gender over the other

bamf1701 − NTA. As an uncle of four beautiful nieces, I feel for you. This was not a joke, it was a dig. The fact that your SIL used her gender reveal announcement (really, why is this even a thing?) to make this dig at you says a lot about her character. It really does sound like she was bragging that she has boys and that boys are somehow superior to girls.

This kind of internalized misogyny cannot be healthy (and it not good to say these things in earshot of your girls). All she had to do was make her gender announcement and leave it at that. By making the dig at you she left herself open to a response by you. This is a classic case of someone who can dish it out but can't take it.. Don't apologize. Hold out for an apology from her for all the years of the digs at you.

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Ok_Pumpkin174 − NTA. Your sil has been making rude comments all throughout the years. She shouldnt make hurtful comments and not expect you to stay silent. Baby genders do not matter - and girls are defn taking taking over the world. Edit: absolutely. My sister and I will stand up for our brother no matter what.

And at the end of the day, so long as kids are brought up in a loving home and have strong relationships and values, what else matters? Someone commented below and mentioned that your girls need to know you stand up for these comments and I 100% agree. And you did that.

Consume_the_Affluent − Nta don't be alarmed but your in-laws might be possessed by the ghost of Henry the 8th

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[Reddit User] − NTA your daughter doesn’t need to think she was an oops on the way to a boy like her aunt apparently thinks she is. It’s not a “long standing joke” it’s them being misogynistic

fractaldawn − NTA She has spent *years* insinuating your wife is 'not good enough' for not giving birth to a cis boy. Not only that, but insinuating in front of your daughters that they are less worthy of your love than a brother would be. God. I don't care that it was her day. For that matter, taking that moment to actively continue to verbally abuse your wife (that's absolutely what it is) makes her even more an a**hole. I don't care, she deserved it.

SnooWords4839 − MIL & SIL are toxic. I bet SIL would love to have a little girl. You need a shirt our one neighbor has - He is tall and very athletic; he has a pink Tee shirt - Girl Dad and proud. Now they walk the neighborhood, older daughter rides a pink bike,

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wife pushes the stroller with the 2nd daughter and dad holds the pink leash for the little girl dog wearing fluffy dog outfits. We happened to get our boosters at the same time and the shirt he was wearing, you don't scare me, I have 2 daughters.

Hi_Im_Dadbot − NTA. It’s only a running joke if the people it’s directed towards think it’s funny. She was being an a**hole to you for a long while and then got all offended when you called her on it.. She’s at fault here, not you.

Slugdirt − Down vote me all you want, 'gender reveals' are as unnecessary as 'save the dates.' Just another gimmick to make the manufacturers of merchandise money.. Edit: Based on a response to my comment, I am not referring to gifts.

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Escape_Overlander − NTA, She should not have been poking the bear. She sounds like a massive sexist, her comments are not cute or funny. Good for defending your daughters

These Reddit gems show a mix of empathy and outrage, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe the sister-in-law thought her jab was harmless, but as Redditors point out, intent doesn’t erase impact.

This dad’s story reminds us that family love shouldn’t come with a gender checklist. His fierce defense of his daughters turned a gender reveal into a moment of truth, but it also left tears and tension. Was his clapback a justified stand or a party-ruining overstep? What would you do if a family member’s “joke” crossed a line with your kids? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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