AITA for ‘ruining’ my friend’s art collection because she stole from me?

Picture a cozy apartment buzzing with creative energy, where paintbrushes dance and Instagram feeds glow with vibrant art. A young woman, thrilled to receive a box of vintage clothes from her grandmother, steps out for the day, only to return to a shocking scene: her roommate, an artist, has claimed the clearly labeled box as her own canvas. What unfolds is a clash of boundaries, apologies, and a canceled art collection, leaving her wondering if she’s the villain in this colorful drama.

The tension simmers as she reclaims her belongings, sparking a silent standoff with her roommate. Readers are drawn into this tale of mistaken packages and bruised egos, questioning who owns what when art and personal property collide. Let’s unpack her story, the Reddit hive mind’s reactions, and what experts say about this sticky situation.

‘AITA for ‘ruining’ my friend’s art collection because she stole from me?’

So my roommate (Jess-19f) is an artist and a good one. I'm an actual fan of her style and I try to be as supportive as I possibly can. She sells her art online and has a pretty good following on instagram. My gran is moving house and she sent me a huge box of clothes she thought I'd like.

It arrived as I was halfway out the door, so I left the box by the front door but it clearly has my name on it. When I get back from work, I see the box is missing. I assume roommate put it in my room, but as I'm walking past her studio, I see the box. Jess has emptied the box and is doing her usual art on the more plain looking t shirts.

I ask her what she's doing with my clothes and she acts surprised and said she thought the box was for her because she's been expecting a box of fabrics for her new collection. I point out my name written on the box and she goes a little red. This is where I may be the a**hole:

I go into her studio and put all the clothes in the box and take it to my room. Jess gets all annoyed and said I'm 'stealing from her' because I took some of the shirts that she had done art on already. I told her 'too bad'. Now she won't talk to me (but I can't tell if that's because she's embarrassed by her actions or she's mad at me).

I also saw a post on her shop account saying the 'vintage collection has been cancelled' and in the comments she tells an upset follower that the 'fabrics guy backed out' so it's clear she's trying to inadvertently pin this on me.. AITA?

EDIT: Wow I just woke up and saw all your messages. I can't respond to all of them, but I've read them all. Since making the post, Jess' mystery fabric box arrived and it is the same size as mine. Jess apologised and offered to remove the art from the shirts, but I said no (because there's no point, the damage has already been done).

ADVERTISEMENT

We're not going to drop each other over this.. There also seems to be confusion around the fabric mystery box so let me explain: Jess ordered a a mystery box which contains a bunch of old/vintage items of clothing but Jess has no idea what's actually in the box. She knows it's mostly t shirts and jackets, but no idea what they look like/materials, etc.

Mistaking a roommate’s package for your own is an honest blunder, but painting on someone else’s clothes? That’s where this story splatters into murky territory. The Reddit user faced a violation of her personal space, yet her roommate, Jess, doubled down, framing the incident as a theft of her art. This clash pits personal property against creative expression, revealing a deeper issue about respect and accountability.

ADVERTISEMENT

The situation reflects a common roommate struggle: blurred boundaries. A 2021 survey by Apartment Guide found that 62% of roommates report conflicts over shared spaces or belongings. Jess’s assumption that she could use the clothes, despite the clear labeling, suggests a lapse in mutual respect, escalating the tension.

Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist specializing in relationships, notes, “Clear communication and respect for personal boundaries are essential in shared living spaces”. Jess’s failure to immediately apologize and her online blame-shifting highlight a defensive stance, complicating resolution. The Reddit user’s decision to reclaim her property was justified, but her blunt “too bad” may have fanned the flames.

To mend this, both could benefit from a calm discussion, acknowledging the mistake and setting clear rules for shared spaces. Jess should replace or compensate for damaged items, while the Reddit user could soften future confrontations to rebuild trust. Respecting boundaries prevents these colorful conflicts from staining friendships.

ADVERTISEMENT

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s verdict came in hot, with users serving up spicy takes and a dash of humor. Here’s what the community had to say about this artistic mix-up:

BoredAgain0410 − NTA - she stole from you. You took back your property. That’s not stealing her art. Did she not remember what she ordered? She just *happened* to order all the exact same items that were in the box, same color, style, size,

and ignored the name? I don’t believe it.. She knew what she was doing and trying to be sneaky. ETA: it’s the fact that she doubled down instead of admitting that she messed up that makes her solidly the AH.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA - if the fabrics were really on the way she would just wait for them to arrive, not passive aggressively cancel the collection.

RoseTyler38 − 'Jess, you swiped a box of shirts with **my** name on them, painted on some of them, and when I take them back, you act like I'm stealing from you?' I would flat out bust out laughing in her presence. NTA.

ElderberryFearless86 − NTA. Her posts are telling - she could have said the fabric is delayed, to see what would arrive in her box but instead she called you the provider and said you backed out, clearly showing she knew they were yours and expected she could keep your stuff if she got her art on them fast enough.

ADVERTISEMENT

xInsomniCatx − NTA and technically she stole from you you didn't steal from her, you might want to remind her that it is completely illegal to open another person's mail without their consent and she could get into a lot of trouble for that.

karskipellis − NTA If you never get packages, and she was expecting a box about the size of your grandma's gift, then I could sorta overlook her opening it up without checking the label. But saying you were 'stealing'? Not apologizing, not speaking to you? Dude. She's totally the AH.

frenziedmonkey − BRB. Off to sharpie a landscape on the bonnet of my neighbour's car because I'm pretty sure it becomes mine then. Honestly... NTA and WTF roommate.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lumpy_Parsnip3060 − NTA. It's your stuff....if she is upset she lost the work she already did (ruining your stuff might I add) that's her problem not yours.

Aedion9850 − NTA - You just took your property back. She had no right to them.

talibob − NTA. She stole from you and is mad she got caught. Ignore her hissy fit. You did nothing wrong.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit roasts paint a clear picture, but do they capture the full canvas? Some call out Jess’s sneaky tactics, while others see a simple mistake gone wrong. Either way, the comments are as bold as Jess’s brushstrokes.

This apartment fiasco shows how quickly a mix-up can spiral into a masterpiece of drama. The Reddit user stood her ground, but Jess’s brush-off left lingering tension. It’s a reminder that respect for boundaries is worth more than any Instagram post. Have you ever faced a roommate who crossed the line with your stuff? What would you do in this artsy standoff? Share your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *