AITA for ruining my ex’s birthday trip after “our” friends got me to fly there under false pretences?

Under Paris’s twinkling lights, a woman expects a carefree getaway with friends, only to find herself cast as an unwitting “gift” for her ex’s birthday. Duped into crossing borders for a cruel prank, her shock boils into anger, and her outburst shatters the celebration. The betrayal, cloaked as a fun surprise, leaves her questioning her reaction amid a storm of blame.

This tale, laced with deceit and raw emotion, captures the sting of broken trust. Her fiery response, born of humiliation, turns a festive trip into a clash of loyalties, echoing anyone who’s been blindsided by those they trusted. It’s a vivid snapshot of friendship gone wrong, served with a French twist.

‘AITA for ruining my ex’s birthday trip after “our” friends got me to fly there under false pretences?’

Three of my friends invited me on a trip to Paris. As far as I was aware the trip was supposed to be just the four of us and was almost like a pre-bachelorette party for one of the friends. Turns out the whole thing was a lie and they wanted me in Paris because that was where my ex was celebrating his birthday and two of the guys in our friendship group thought it would be funny if I was his surprise present.

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I was angry and felt humiliated when I realised what was going on and I yelled at my ex because I thought he was the one behind it. My friends told me to calm down because I was ruining the party but at that point I was so mad that I wanted to ruin it for everyone. A lot of people are angry at me and now that I’ve calmed down I’m wondering if I acted like an a**hole?

A trip to Paris should spark joy, but for this woman, it brought betrayal. Lured by friends under the guise of a pre-bachelorette party, she was instead paraded as a “surprise” for her ex’s birthday—a prank that humiliated her. Her outburst, though disruptive, was a natural response to being objectified, though yelling at her ex, who may not have known, muddied the waters.

Deceptive pranks can wound deeply. A 2023 study in Journal of Social Psychology found that trust violations by friends cause longer-lasting emotional harm than romantic betrayals. Here, the friends’ lie—treating her as a prop—eroded her sense of agency, fueling her anger. Her ex, potentially innocent, became collateral damage in her hurt.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship psychologist, notes, “Betrayal by trusted friends demands clear boundaries to heal”. The woman’s rage was valid, but a calmer exit might have preserved her dignity while addressing the culprits. Apologizing to her ex, if he was unaware, could clarify her intent. Her friends’ lack of remorse signals a need for distance.

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For her, cutting ties with these friends is a step toward self-respect. Seeking support—perhaps through therapy—can help process the humiliation. This story underscores that trust, once shattered, requires accountability, not excuses, to mend, especially when friends play puppeteer.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the woman, condemning her friends for their cruel deception. Users saw the prank—flying her to Paris as a “gift”—as dehumanizing, with many urging her to ditch these so-called friends. Her outburst, while messy, was viewed as a justified reaction to being manipulated across borders.

Some noted she might owe her ex an apology if he was unaware, but the consensus pinned the blame on the friends’ thoughtless scheme. Reddit’s take was unanimous: true friends don’t treat you as a punchline. The community’s outrage highlighted the betrayal’s depth, affirming her right to feel wronged.

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Hadtosignuptofothis − NTA, I have sooo many questions. Like how are you (an actual human being) a gift ? And why are you friends with people who would put you in this situation?

Fuzzy_Judgment63 − NTA - Real friends wouldn't have lied about the reason to get you to go. Real friends wouldn't have forced both your ex and you to be together without your express permission first, for any reason.

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Chelular07 − NTA. I am assuming you aren’t from France, so they lured you *to another country* as a “prank” and they don’t see how this would be s**tty? I am also assuming you are LC or NC with your ex, so they put you in a situation with a person you have decided is not someone you want in your life in another country, and they *don’t see how that’s not okay????*. Get. New. Friends.

[Reddit User] − NTA and those are NOT your friends.. You are a human being not a “surprise present”

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Grannywine − NTA your so called 'friends' lied to, manipulated, and embarrassed you for their own amusement. While you may, and I stress may, owe your ex an apology but you owe yourself better friends that at the very least respect you and normal boundaries about how to treat people.

GlassSandwich9315 − NTA, you had a right to be pissed, but you owe your ex an apology for yelling at him.. INFO: Did they at least pay for your trip, cause if not, I'd sue them for the money back.

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600nm − NTA. An unwitting surprise 'present'? Are you an object? Hard to imagine how any of them thought this was okay, and if they're angry and not apologetic at least you know: it's time to find some new friends.

kevwelch − You were to be his “surprise present”. His gift. A thing they flew in to present to him. Not a person with feelings. Not somebody who had opinions about how they were being used. A gift. An object.

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This is a text book example of objectification. You were a prop to them. A surprise gag. A joke played on somebody at your own expense. And these were your friends? No. These are cruel jerks. Not friends.

F**k their party and their good time. F**k them. They are bad people. You and your ex got used for their amusement. Why do you care if you ruined things for them?. NTA. They aren’t worth your consideration. So don’t consider them. Ever.

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ProfPlumDidIt − INFO: Did your ex know about it or was he also a victim of the prank?

fred_just_fred − NTA. If you paid for the trip your “friends” need to pay you back.. If your ex didn’t know about this, then you need to apologize and explain what happened

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This story, like a Parisian night gone sour, blends heartbreak with defiance. The woman’s eruption at her ex’s party, fueled by friends’ deceit, exposed the cost of broken trust. It’s a reminder that friendship should lift, not trick. Have you faced a betrayal that turned joy to chaos? Share your stories—let’s unravel this tangle of loyalty and lies.

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