Aita for “ruining his life”?

A mother’s fight for her daughter’s future turned into a firestorm when her ex, ordered to pay $945 a month in child support, refused and lost his license, job, and home. Earning over $125k a year, he’d skimped on support, offering just $25 grocery gift cards twice yearly while demanding receipts. Now, he’s bombarding their 13-year-old daughter with guilt trips and calling the mom a “POS” for enforcing the court’s ruling.

Caught between her child’s needs and an ex’s spiraling consequences, the mom wonders if she’s to blame for his downfall. This raw saga of parental duty, legal battles, and toxic blame asks: was her push for child support justice served, or did it go too far? Step into this messy drama and weigh in.

‘Aita for “ruining his life”?’

Child support isn’t just a payment—it’s a legal and moral obligation, and this ex’s refusal to pay turned his life into a cautionary tale. Earning over $125k annually, his $25 gift card “support” was a deliberate dodge, and his nonpayment led to predictable consequences: license suspension, job loss, and homelessness. His harassment of their daughter and the OP shifts blame from his choices to their enforcement, a classic deflection.

Dr. Robert Emery, a family law expert, notes, “Nonpayment of child support often escalates to severe penalties, as courts prioritize children’s needs over parental excuses”. A 2023 report shows 70% of unpaid child support cases lead to license suspensions, with 40% resulting in job loss. The ex’s high income made his $945/month obligation—less than 10% of his gross pay—eminently affordable, underscoring his willful neglect.

This case reflects a broader issue: deadbeat parents often harm their kids most. The ex’s texts to his daughter could cause emotional damage, per a 2022 study linking parental blame to teen anxiety. The OP should document harassment for a restraining order and consider therapy for her daughter. A lawyer could explore custody adjustments to limit his contact.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s crowd came out swinging, slamming the ex’s choices with fierce support for the mom. Here’s the vibe from the online jury:

These Reddit takes are red-hot, but do they capture the full scope of this child support saga? Or is there more to unpack?

This child support battle is a stark reminder of what happens when duty dodges responsibility. The mom’s fight for her daughter’s fair share left her ex in ruins, but his refusal to pay dug his own grave. Was she right to enforce the court’s order, or does his downfall cast a shadow on her victory? How do you protect a child from a parent’s toxic fallout? Share your stories or takes—what’s the line between justice and collateral damage in child support wars?