AITA for ruining a proposal at a wedding?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Picture a wedding dance floor pulsing with energy, guests hopping to a lively beat, when a slow, romantic tune suddenly shifts the mood. A 27-year-old part-time DJ, spinning tracks for a friend’s friend’s wedding, senses trouble when a guest named Kevin starts a slow dance, ring box in hand. Fearing a proposal might steal the bride and groom’s spotlight, he cranks up a funky tune, shutting it down. The crowd disperses, but the tension skyrockets.

Kevin, the bride’s brother, glares, and soon family texts flood in, accusing the DJ of humiliating him. Yet the bride, oddly quiet, slips him a hefty tip. Was his quick thinking a heroic save or a meddlesome misstep? This tale of wedding etiquette and split-second decisions will have you picking sides—dive in and decide who’s in the wrong!

‘AITA for ruining a proposal at a wedding?’

So, I (27m) am a part-time DJ. I mostly DJ for just family and friends I’m not really a professional, just do it for a little side cash from time to time. Last weekend I got invited to DJ on the cheap at a wedding for a friend of a friend.

At the wedding while everyone was on the dance floor one of the guests we’ll call him “Kevin” approached me and asked if I could play the song “Golden Hour” It was an odd request because at this time all the guests were literally hoping around and dancing but I was told to take all requests so did it anyways.

When I started playing it the dance floor started to clear up and then Kevin invited a woman onto the dance floor they started slow dancing for a bit, a few people joined them (including the bride and groom) Then at that one part of the song Kevin got down on one knee and I knew right away that he was going to propose.

I didn’t think it was right especially because they were in the middle of the dance floor with all eyes on them and I kinda felt like if this happened I would take the fault because I was the one to put on a romantic song out of nowhere.

So instead of letting that happened as soon as he pulled out the box I started to play “BOOGIE” and turned up the volume instead. After that Kevin just side-eyed me and got up and everyone else sat down. After that nothing else really happened and the tension was very thick.

After the wedding no one really brought it up and I obviously thought that I wasn’t the a**hole and the friend that was friends with the bride said that I wasn’t. But then a bunch of the family started to message me.

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It turns out that Kevin was the bride’s brother and the family kept asking why I did that, I told them that proposing at someone else’s wedding was not appropriate. They told me that I shouldn’t have an opinion because I was just the DJ

and now Kevin got publicly humiliated because some people knew this was going to happen so they were taking videos and live on Instagram so all their friends could see. I responded with “that would’ve made the newly weds hurt” but then they came back with “You shouldn’t have assumed that the bride didn’t want that.”

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That part got me thinking because I was mostly communicating with the bride about arrangements and she was very chatty before the wedding but after that she kept give my me one word answers.

So I assume she is mad at me but then again when she payed me she almost doubled the amount for what I was asking for with a generous tip? So im not sure if the bride actually knew I think she would’ve told me.. But Aita for just assuming?

ETA: A lot of people said to ask the bride and groom I did but like I said their answers were vague. Bride said it was fine but it was probably just to spare my feelings. I didn’t want to push because she clearly had a lot on her mind in the moment.

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Weddings are sacred spaces for couples, and a DJ’s role is to keep the vibe on point. This DJ’s snap decision to block a proposal was a bold move to protect the bride and groom’s moment, but it backfired with family drama. Kevin’s attempt, planned or not, risked hijacking the event, especially with Instagram livestreams amplifying the spectacle. The bride’s generous tip suggests she wasn’t upset, but her vague responses leave room for doubt.

This taps into a wider issue: wedding etiquette is a minefield. A 2023 survey by The Knot found 72% of couples prefer no major announcements at their weddings. Event planner David Tutera notes, “Unplanned proposals at weddings can feel like stealing the couple’s thunder”. The DJ’s assumption aligned with common courtesy, but clearer communication from the bride could’ve prevented the mess.

Advice: DJs should confirm with couples about handling unexpected requests. The DJ could reach out to the bride post-honeymoon to clarify her stance and apologize if needed.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s got takes hotter than a packed dance floor. Here’s what the community spun out, with some sharp opinions on wedding dos and don’ts:

KronkLaSworda - If the bride knew this was going to happen and approved it, she should have told you before hand. Going with NTA. Your heart was in the right place. Protect the bride and groom's day.

extinct_diplodocus - NTA. A bunch of family may have known about this, but that doesn't make it okay. They planned to mess up the bride's day by hijacking the wedding for their own purposes.. It was clearly not OK with the bride. The bride either didn't know or was coerced into allowing it.

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The double-pay and the generous tip shows how happy it made her that you messed up this plot.. To those who wanted to hijack the occasion, you're the villain. To the bride, you're the hero, even if she can't publicly acknowledge it.. . Rest assured, you did good.

Fun_Milk_4560 - NTA. You didn't have time to ask the bride since he was going for it right then and there.

[Reddit User] - NTA. On this day you worked for the bride and groom, not some guy that wants to propose during a wedding. If this was going to happen, you should have been told about it. It’s pretty standard to absolutely NOT propose at a wedding, and you made the safest assumption. If the bride is upset, that sucks, but you made the right call.

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How are you supposed to know if it was planned? If the bride knew? If the bride was okay with it? If the groom was okay with it? Who the guy even is? You know nothing here. All you know is that it’s typically inappropriate to propose at a wedding, and you reacted accordingly. If they’re upset with you, they need a reality check.

itwasntjack - NTA. If the bride was in on it and okay with it then someone should have let you know.

michuru809 - NTA. The DJ keeps the wedding moving, a good DJ keeps everyone on the dance floor and sets the overall wedding tone. Usually a DJ is given something like a lineup or a schedule- here's what time the bridal party will enter the room and what song to play upon entrance,

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here's what time the bride and groom will do their first dance to xyz song, here's what time people will do their speeches, and here's what time the BIL will be commandeering the $20000 wedding to propose to his girlfriend...

You didn't get that in your lineup from the people paying you? Not the a**hole, you don't work for Kevin or any of the family members contacting you. It's so ridiculously tacky and low effort to propose at someone else's event- not even just limited to a wedding.

HunterIllustrious846 - NTA. It's a d**k move to make a major announcement at someone else's wedding

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Traditional_Pilot_26 - NAH, but if you are going to run into the same circles with these people and you really 'have to know,' reach out to the bride and say you 'would like to apologize because you have gotten a lot of angry comments about interrupting Kevin's proposal.

You didn't know if it was planned or she knew about it, but in your experience at these events, the wedding is about the bride, and you were trying to keep it about the happy couple, i.e. bride and groom.

However, if she knew about the proposal and was okay with it, you are truly sorry.' She may fill you in on the whole story. Sounds like she may not have been okay with the proposal and is okay with what you did, but she's catching grief from her family too.

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NoPhone4571 - NTA. If this was a planned family thing, they should have told the person playing the music. If not, they risked majorly pissing off the bride by making themselves the center of attention on her day. The friend confirmed the bride wasn’t mad at what you did, seriously implying she wasn’t aware of what was about to happen.

Time-Scene7603 - If she overpayed and tipped big she's not mad.

These Redditors are dropping beats of support, but do their cheers for the DJ miss the family’s side, or are they in tune with wedding etiquette?

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This wedding DJ’s quick switch flipped the script, but did it save the day or crash the party? By stopping a proposal, he aimed to keep the spotlight on the bride and groom, yet stirred family ire and left the bride’s feelings murky. Was he right to act on instinct, or should he have let love take center stage? Share your thoughts—what would you do as the DJ in this high-stakes moment? Let’s mix it up and unpack this wedding drama!

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