AITA for roasting my sister for not getting into Stanford?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a whirlwind of college acceptance letters and teenage heartbreak, a 17-year-old’s attempt to vent about a romantic rejection turned into a sibling showdown. Fresh off a Dartmouth acceptance, he clashed with his sister, still stinging from Stanford’s rejection, when she lectured him about “entitlement” over his sadness. His sharp analogy—comparing his crush’s rejection to her college snub—hit a nerve, sparking accusations of cruelty. It’s a tale of raw emotions and sharper words, where two teens navigate the sting of rejection.

This story is a lively mix of family friction and youthful angst, with Reddit diving in to referee the spat. Most cheered the brother’s logic, but some winced at his choice of ammo. With humor and heart, this narrative pulls you into a world where feelings run high, and a well-aimed point can cut deeper than intended.

‘AITA for roasting my sister for not getting into Stanford?’

My sister and I, both 17, I’m male, have started receiving results from colleges. She applied early to Stanford while I applied early to Dartmouth. I think about a week ago, more or less, she got rejected, and a little while after that, I got accepted to Dartmouth. So college is a sore spot for her.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but at the moment I’m not really in a mood to be happy about my college acceptances, because I was going through a whole thing with a girl that ended today when she ended up choosing another guy over me. Needless to say I’m a bit sad and annoyed at that, and was telling her about it.

Now, my sister is the type of person to never shut up about her opinions on everything, even when the other person would just like someone to listen to them. This was one of those cases— I was feeling down and I was just trying to rant to her (also told my friends if it matters and ranted to them). But she started lecturing me about how ‘women don’t have to give you love, you’re not entitled to it, so you shouldn’t be sad unless you felt entitled’.

Wtf kinda logic is that? I never said I was entitled to her liking me lol, just that I was sad because she doesn’t which means any chance of us being together is gone. She kept going, so to show her the flaw in her logic, I asked her if she was entitled to get accepted to Stanford.

She was confused, so I asked her if she felt Stanford *had* to give her a spot. She said no, there are plenty of really good applicants. I pointed out she was still sad about getting rejected, so why was she sad unless she felt entitled to it? Because it’s a place she really liked and imagined her going to, right? Similarly the girl that needed things was a girl that I really liked and imagined like doing a lot of cute things with her that’ll never actually happen now. So ofc I’m sad.

She got pissed off at me for apparently rubbing her r**ection in her face. I think she’s missing the point, which is that you can be sad about a college or in my case a person rejecting you without feeling entitled to their love/acceptance letter.. AITA?

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This sibling spat is a classic case of emotions running hot and communication going cold. The brother’s attempt to vent about a romantic rejection was derailed by his sister’s lecture on entitlement, which misread his sadness as arrogance. His Stanford analogy was a clever way to highlight the flaw in her logic—sadness doesn’t imply entitlement—but picking her fresh rejection as the example was like poking a bruise. Both misstepped: she by preaching, he by personalizing.

The broader issue here is navigating emotional vulnerability in family dynamics. A 2022 study in the Journal of Adolescent Research found that 70% of teens struggle to express emotions without escalating conflicts, especially with siblings. The sister’s need to lecture may stem from her own college disappointment, while the brother’s sharp retort reflects his raw heartbreak.

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Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour advises, “Teens need space to feel without judgment, but empathy in responses keeps bonds tight” . Here, both could’ve listened more—her to his pain, him to her sensitivity. The analogy was valid but poorly timed, given her recent rejection.

The brother should apologize for the personal jab, not the point, using tips from Psychology Today on mending sibling rifts, and ask her to listen rather than lecture next time. A heart-to-heart could clear the air.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brought the heat, dishing out a lively mix of high-fives for the brother’s logic and side-eyes for his delivery. From praising his analogy to questioning his sensitivity, the comments are a spicy blend of support and shade. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − NTA You didn't rub her r**ection in her face, you made a valid point. Being sad about r**ection doesn't mean you felt entitled to this girl's time/attention/love or whatever.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It was a really good analogy with a valid point. You were both disappointed, you’re both entitled to feel sad.

[Reddit User] − NTA The ability to explain different situations with great analogies tailored to a particular individual is one of the many reason why you got accepted to Dartmouth!! Congratulations.

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[Reddit User] − NTA you didn't rub it in her face. You were trying to explain your feelings and how she was hurting you.

wrennables − INFO: what do you mean when you say you were 'ranting' to her? I ask because if you were sad in the same way that she was sad about not getting into Stanford then yes, this is a good way to explain things to her. But the way I interpret 'ranting', it does imply a bit of entitlement to me (I'm not American, so this may be a cultural/language thing). [edit: you also said you were annoyed, which implies similar to me]

Your sister acknowledged that the people who got in to Stanford instead of her probably deserved it more than her, and she is just sad about not getting the place. If that is similar to the way you were talking about your feelings then NTA.

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But if you were ranting (in the way that I understand that term) about a girl/woman's decision of who she wants to date, then I think your sister could have been right to point out that you weren't entitled to her, in which case bringing up her college disappointment would be slightly (only slightly) AH-ish.

zingbats − INFO: what did you say in your rant about the girl who turned you down?

[Reddit User] − ESH While your point is a valid one and she was probably overreaching by claiming you were feeling entitled to the other girl, you used a pretty cruel example when you knew that she was feeling sore about not getting into the college of her choice. In life, trying to win every argument/‘expose the flaw in their logic’ is going to bring you a lot of trouble.

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mostlylegal − YTA - without any context of what you were saying, pulling that college comment out of thin air was cruel, because let's be honest here, you couldn't use a different example? She could be much more upset than you think.

You had a breakup, you will have MANY OF THOSE in your life but only one shot to get into a college you like. Be freaking kind to eachother, or in the very least, dont act like saying cruel things is just 'roasting'. That's... a gross dismissal of how you affect others.

JoyFaerie − NAH.. Your sister is misinformed (a lot of that nonsense is online these days) and a poor listener. You were trying to prove a point, but you picked an example that was really really raw. That was insensitive.

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Let her cool off and tell her that you didn’t mean to hurt her. Consider asking her IF she is someone you can come to with your problems. If she says yes, remind her that means she has to listen and not lecture. It’s an opportunity to ask her to be a better listener. Since you’re both young, she might not realize.

[Reddit User] − INFO when you were venting what were you saying? If you were calling the girl who rejected you a b**ch or whore or tease then maybe your sister was right to say those things to you.

These Redditors backed the brother’s point, seeing his sister’s lecture as overreach, but some called his Stanford jab too raw. A few wondered about his rant’s tone, hinting at possible entitlement. Do these hot takes nail the story, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This brother’s tale is a sharp reminder that even the best intentions can backfire when emotions are raw. His analogy cut through his sister’s flawed logic but sliced too close to her college wound, turning a vent into a feud. It’s a story of hurt feelings and missed connections, where listening could’ve trumped lecturing or lashing out. How would you navigate a sibling’s unwanted advice in a tough moment? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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