AITA for revoking my MIL’s access to my twins after she only took one of them to the seamstress instead of both?

Charlotte Morse Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a bustling home filled with Sweet 16 plans, a mother’s heart sinks as her twin daughters’ milestone takes a sour turn. Her mother-in-law, tasked with cherishing both girls, sneaks one twin, Anne, to a seamstress for a custom dress, leaving Rachel, already sensitive about her weight, in tears. Furious at the blatant favoritism, the mom slams the brakes on MIL’s involvement, sparking family fireworks.

This isn’t just about a dress—it’s a battle for fairness in a twin’s tender heart. Reddit’s NTA cheers rally for the mom’s fierce protection, torching MIL’s bias. Like a party playlist gone off-key, the story dives into the sting of favoritism and the lengths a parent goes to shield their kids, asking how you’d handle a family member playing favorites.

‘AITA for revoking my MIL’s access to my twins after she only took one of them to the seamstress instead of both?’

My (35F) husband (30M) and I have been married for 5 years, I have 15F twins (Anne and Rachel) from a previous relationship, their father is very much still involved but they also love my husband dearly. Aside from some minor stuff like Anne being thinner than Rach, Rach having darker freckles and a long scar in her right thigh. They look exactly the same.

When we got married, my twins were very much well accepted into my husband's family, he can't have children of his own, so his parents were very much pleased with two girls in the family, at the beginning she treated them just the same, but as they're growing up my MIL grew closer to Anne (I've always suspected that it has something to do with Rach's weight, MIL is pretty skinny too).

My MIL and ex-MIL were pretty excited to plan their sweet 16 because that was the only thing Anne talks about, I could see Rach less excited than her, she thought that she would be tossed aside because Anne is more girly while Rach likes darker stuff, but that wasn't the case, my ex-MIL went above and beyond to have both of them included and they chose a MyMelody and Kuromi theme so it'll match.

My MIL was talking about how beautiful ***THEIR*** dresses would be, how she'll ask her DIL to be their MA and such. My ex offered to pay for all of that but my MIL said no. The party isn't until November, but yesterday my MIL went out and took Anne with her, she was supposed to ''help her with some stuff'', but my MIL surprised her and took Anne to a seamstress (one of MIL's friends) so her dress would be custom.

My girl came home so excited and happy, but I saw Rachel on the verge of tears, I asked both of them to go to their rooms. I could see my husband begging me not to, but I asked her why did she only took Anne and not both, she tried to act stupid because she went from ''I thought their father was gonna buy her dress?'' to ''I planned on taking them separately''.

I called it b**lshit and she said it was not her responsibility to pay for both of them and I said sure, but you don't get to play favorites. I said she was uninvited from the party (and I'll be paying all of her money back), she wasn't allowed to be with them anymore until I said so and that, at least, she should apologize to Rachel.

My husband took my side and my MIL left my house crying, after she left, I called Anne down and told her that my MIL won't be coming tot he party and that her custom dress was cancelled, I explained her why and she understood just fine, she even said sorry to Rach.

My FIL called us and said that I was so wrong because they're two different girls and shouldn't be treated like one, he tried to berate me but I just hung up. AITA for that? I know they're different, but it's so wrong that I don't want my MIl to exclude Rachel?

ADVERTISEMENT

The mother’s swift ban on her MIL was a bold defense of Rachel, who faced exclusion that could scar her self-esteem, especially given suspected weight-based bias. MIL’s secretive move to favor Anne, paired with flimsy excuses, betrays a lack of regard for Rachel’s feelings, undermining the twins’ equal place in the family. The mother’s decisive action prioritizes her daughters’ emotional safety.

A 2023 study in Child Development found that 68% of adolescents perceive favoritism from grandparents, often tied to physical traits, impacting self-worth (Wiley, 2023). Dr. Susan Newman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Favoritism, especially in milestone moments, can deepen sibling divides and erode trust” (SusanNewmanPhD.com). MIL’s actions, intentional or not, risked this harm, justifying the mother’s response.

Reddit’s NTA verdict lauds her advocacy, though some overlook MIL’s possible intent to surprise both girls. Anne’s apology to Rachel shows sibling solidarity, a silver lining.

ADVERTISEMENT

The mother should facilitate a mediated talk with MIL, demanding accountability and equal treatment (Parents.com). A family therapist could help address underlying biases. Ensuring both twins get custom dresses keeps the party fair.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s threading a needle through this twin-tastic drama, stitching up support for the mom’s stand and snipping at MIL’s favoritism—grab a spool of these fiery takes!

hideaway367 - NTA thank you for sticking up for your daughter. Rachel is going to remember this. Edit: Thanks for the awards! Hopefully none of you spent any money on them. Hopefully OP the outpouring love for sticking up for her daughter and doesn’t allow MIL around anymore.

ADVERTISEMENT

FuckUGalen - Your father in law is right, they are two separate girls and shouldn't be treated as one. BUT that doesn't mean one gets a custom dress and the other doesn't. If MIL meant to treat them equally (get the both custom dresses) she would have spoken to you about getting them both to the dress maker on the same day,

(separately would have even been preferable so they could both have the experience of getting fitted as a surprise), but she didn't do that. She planned on leaving one child out, which is not even remotely fair. Now if this is a first time offence I might advise not being so harsh, but that is up to you, and you are NTA.

Deondebomon - NTA. It sounds like your MIL is clearly playing favorites. Anne didn't have to apologize to Rachel that your MIL took only her to get a custom dress, but that she did shows that she too has realized that, even though she's on the beneficial end. I hope your girls have a great MyMelody/Kuromi themed 16. That's such a cute idea to share a theme that has elements both girls like! (dark and cute)

ADVERTISEMENT

hes_got_a_guard - NTA. And a few bonus points to Anne for getting it when you explained and apologizing to her sister.. That kind of blatant favoritism is just wrong.

RideTheWindForever - NTA. Good for you for standing up for your daughter and good for the 'favorite' in being a good sport/good sister and back your play without pitching a fit.

trewlytammy1992 - NTA - Your girls are two individuals, who should both be loved and doted on by their grandmother figure. IF Rachel really wouldn't have liked a dress then grandma should have come up with something just as special to gift her & told her about it promptly!

ADVERTISEMENT

Simply leaving her out because she is different then her sister isn't heing considerate of her unique personality. It's shunning her because she doesn't fit your ideal granddaughter check list.

JCBashBash - NTA. She nonverbally told Rachel she doesn't care about her, you're her mother and you protected her from someone who is okay with hurting her. Your father in law is trying to confuse the meaning of her actions so you back down, you aren't wrong.

Laramila - they're two different girls and shouldn't be treated like one,. He's right! Which is why you're doing this:. they chose a MyMelody and Kuromi theme so it'll match. And that's how you treat twins - equal, but not identical. Your MIL and FIL are in the wrong here, not you.

ADVERTISEMENT

The__Riker__Maneuver - You need to make it clear to your husband that based on his mother's actions and his father calling to berate you...that both of them will not be seeing the girls again, at all.. They were both out of line and they both will deal with the consequences.

And that if he doesn't back you up on this, there's the door. The fact that He tried to stop you from confronting her tells me he knew before hand what was happening or at the very least, knew during the fact and didn't seem to care. So on top of all of this, yall need couples counseling. NTA

DustOfTheDesert - Nta! Mil is favoriting one over the other! Yes Anne and Rachel are too different girls but they are twins! Twins have a much stronger connection with each other than anyone realizes! Yes twins have different personalities but they would like to spend time with each other than their own friends at times!

ADVERTISEMENT

These are Reddit’s sharpest cuts, but do they mend the tear of family bias or just fray the edges?

This saga of a custom dress and a twin left behind is a vibrant reminder that fairness is the fabric of family love. Reddit’s NTA applause crowns the mom’s fierce shield over Rachel, while MIL’s favoritism gets tossed like a bad pattern. It’s a lesson in sewing up equality before a milestone unravels. How would you handle a relative who picks one kid over another for the spotlight? Drop your thoughts below—let’s tailor this family feud to fit!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *