AITA for Revoking College Funding Because My Son Wants an Art Degree?

A 52-year-old father proudly watches his 30-year-old daughter thrive with her master’s in business and booming startup. Meanwhile, his 17-year-old son announces he’s applied to art universities—and the dad responds by yanking his offer to pay for college unless the boy picks a “practical” degree.

The father admits he once chased an art degree himself, only to crash into debt and homelessness before switching to business on his parents’ dime. Determined to spare his son the same pain, he laid down the ultimatum. The teen exploded, called him a terrible dad, and threatened to move out.

‘AITA for Revoking College Funding Because My Son Wants an Art Degree?’

The dad has two kids—a successful 30-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son far less interested in traditional academics:

I (52m) have one son (17m) and one daughter (30f). my daughter graduated from her local university with a masters degree in bushiness and has a small start-up that has...

My son on the other hand... he is less academically interested. throughout high-school he wanted to take only art and music courses. i didn't allow him too, and unfortunately had...

Now heading to university, the son declares independence and reveals he’s already applied—and been accepted—to art programs:

However, he says now that he is going to uni, he doesn't have to listen to me, and that he'll move out to one of his friends if i try...

so i did the only thing i could... revoking my offer of paying for his university. it breaks my heart, but i feel like i have no choice. i told...

My son was understandably pissed when i told him this. he called me an s__tty father, and stormed off to his room.. **before you flood the comments with yta, hear...

Explaining his stance, the dad recounts his own disastrous art pursuit that ended in debt, eviction, homelessness, and crawling back to parents for a business redo:

i did the same thing my son wants to do, got an art degree, against the wishes of my parents. i was young and excited, but it was not to...

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i had to drag myself back to my parents and beg them to pay for me to go to uni again, this time to get a business degree. i got...

*so you see, i just don't want my son to make the same mistakes i did. i want him to be able to hold his head high, knowing he can...

Parents naturally want to shield kids from hardship, especially when they’ve lived it themselves. Sharing personal failures as cautionary tales makes sense—the father’s story of debt and homelessness is a stark warning about the risks of pursuing unstable fields without backup plans. Guiding toward financially viable paths reflects genuine concern in a tough job market.

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Yet overriding a nearly adult child’s passion can backfire badly. Forcing disinterest often breeds resentment and poor performance, while supporting genuine talent—even with practical safeguards—can foster motivation and success. Modern creative industries offer viable careers in graphic design, digital media, animation, music production, and more that blend art with employability.

Research shows college outcomes depend heavily on engagement: students in fields they love tend to persist and excel, even if starting salaries vary. The father’s daughter thrived in business, but that doesn’t mean art is doomed for his son—he might possess talent or strategy the dad lacked. Conditional funding feels like control, especially after years of restricting high school electives.

A healthier approach involves open dialogue: explore hybrid options (double majors, minors in marketable skills), discuss debt management, and set clear expectations. Revoking promised support at the last minute risks permanently damaging trust. Ultimately, at 17 going on 18, the son deserves autonomy over his path—with loving guidance, not ultimatums.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The vast majority online brands the father controlling and projective, insisting he can’t dictate his son’s future based on his own regrets:

[Reddit User] - YTA you're controlling and it sounds like you've been this way for a long time. It doesn't matter that you failed at your art career. Maybe he'll...

But being forced to study sth he has no interest in wont help him and having to take on a bunch of debt to follow his dream also wont help...

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nhannon87 - I love the end I don't want to be controlling, but you are being very controlling. YTA Let him pursue is passion. If he fails and didn't listen...

If this is how he wants to spend is one free try let him. And based on your wording it sounds like you love your daughter more and show it....

wanderingmind47 - YTA. Your experience as a failed artist is worth sharing with him so that he can make an informed decision, and of course it’s natural that you’d worry...

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and that didn’t affect your willingness to pay for your daughter’s business degree. As long as your son understands he gets one chance to spend the money you saved up...

Beequeenboi - YTA: hear me out, just because you failed in the arts doesn't mean your son will. Does he have a game plan of sorts? Thats what will help...

For example I am training to be a professional vocalist but I know that I might need another musical talent to rely on which is why I am also studying...

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There are many Musical and Artistic jobs that do pay well and are in demand, might I suggest looking into these with your son instead of shutting him down entirely?

nemixa - YTA. the fact of the matter is that you're projecting your failures onto your son. if you genuinely want to see him succeed make sure he knows that...

depending on WHAT art he's studying, he could actually end up in a pretty lucrative field! finally, you promised you'd pay for his schooling, so none of the above really...

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EDIT: also your post literally starts with "i promised to pay for my sons university" but then a later edit said it was just assumed. why are you making edits...

YMMV-But - YTA & not a very good parent. You’ve had years to help your son figure out ways to make a living with art & music, & instead of...

There are lots of art & music related careers - art & music therapy, industrial design, producing, advertising, graphic design, to name just a few. Did you help him investigate...

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Doesn’t sound like it. It’s the last minute, & you’re playing your only trump card, which is money. Enjoy your money since “your rules” will probably cost you your son.

_atomic_garden - YTA - You say your mistake was going to art school, but your mistake was really racking up astronomical debt. Just because your son is making some of...

Rather than offering him guidance to avoid the pitfalls in your shared interest you're telling him you don't believe in him. Often when you tell someone you don't think they're...

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Your other mistake is apparently being unaware that there are other job opportunities for art majors other than famous oil painter. There's work in galleries, museums, graphic design, event/wedding photography,...

And all that's just assuming visual "fine" arts. Beyond that a business degree isn't a prerequisite for all office jobs. A college degree in general displays that you have the...

An art degree generally requires a fair amount of language and communication skills, creative problem solving, and a lot of self direction, which tend to be attractive for many positions.

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As an art major who works in an office I will say that my major may make me perhaps less appealing for some positions especially the uninteresting ones that admittedly...

but it also makes me stand out for the types of positions I find more interesting. It's totally reasonable to encourage him to get a well rounded education.

Work collaboratively to think what other areas of study would fit with his skills and interests, be that a dual major, a minor, or training in a trade - but...

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I wish someone had suggested minoring in the area I was working for fun and spare money). At best it'll give him a good start for a good day job...

JackNotName - YTA All you are going to accomplish is to make your son hate you. Art can be a viable career path. Just because you failed does not mean...

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[Reddit User] - YTA You're exactly what he called you. You don't get to decide his future, and shame on you for shaming him for his life choice.

Ctdstryr1 - YTA. The time to attach stipulations was when you made the promise. All you're doing now is holding him accountable for your lack of foresight and proving yourself...

poodlecon - YTA my mom did the same s__t to me. Now I'm about to turn 29, 24k in debt, and quitting jobs that i don't want. Im about to...

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A smaller group sides with the father or calls it reasonable given real-world statistics on art degrees:

terrapharma - NAH. Research is very clear. A degree in arts generally results in a person being worse off financially than if they never got a degree at all and...

He can go to school for whatever degree he wants to and you can choose to not pay for it.

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heathergrey15 - NTA He can chose to finance the tuition or not. There are several ways to attain student loans. Or. . possibly chose a program that has creative attributes...

AnonB30 - NTA, it's your money, and you're correct about the probability of an Art degree resulting in a good job. You're trying to prevent him making the same mistakes...

All the people in here saying YTA have no idea how many people out there with an Art degree end up taking a low paying job because they can't get...

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[Reddit User] - NTA I don’t think you should have to pay for something you think is a bad choice, but do consider carefully whether your son might have better...

Most commenters see the father’s move as heavy-handed projection that could cost him his son forever. A few defend his caution, citing tough employment stats for creative fields and his firsthand experience.

These parent-vs-passion clashes hit hard what happens when “protecting” feels like controlling to the kid? Would sitting down to map realistic creative careers together have bridged the gap, or is tough love the only way to steer clear of financial ruin?

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One Comment

  1. Well, good thing you’re so proud of your daughter – she’s the only child you’ll have in a year’s time.
    Or, maybe, five years’ time – if your son bows down to get ‘letters after his name’ and no debt.
    But he’ll be gone after one of those time periods.
    *”I don’t want to be controlling, BUT…”? You are and you’re also willing him to fail in what HE wants because YOU did.