AITA for Resisting Ex’s Sudden Strict Parenting of Our Grown Sons?

Picture this: a quiet Canadian evening, a mom sipping tea with her new fur baby snoozing nearby, when her phone lights up with a barrage of texts from her ex-husband. After 19 years of barely showing up, he’s suddenly playing Super Dad, barking orders about their grown sons like he’s auditioning for a reality TV show. The tension’s thick enough to cut with a butter knife, and she’s left wondering if she’s the bad guy for sticking to her guns.

For two decades, she’s been the steady hand guiding her boys—now 21 and 19—through life’s ups and downs, from mental health struggles to teenage tempers. Then, out of nowhere, her ex swoops in with his wallet and a rulebook, trying to rewrite the story. Readers, you can practically hear the collective eye-roll—how’s this going to play out?

‘AITA My ex husband is now all of a sudden interested in co-parenting after 19 years without and I refuse to adapt his parenting style?’

Navigating family dynamics with an ex can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield—especially when he’s been MIA for 19 years. This mom’s clash with her ex-husband over their adult sons’ freedom is a classic case of too little, too late. She’s built a parenting style on mutual respect, while he’s swinging in with control tactics that’d make a drill sergeant blush.

The sons, at 21 and 19, aren’t kids anymore. Legally, they’re adults, and as she points out, Canada’s mental health system isn’t exactly rushing to help. With waitlists stretching months and private care costing up to $100k, her hands-on approach makes sense. He, meanwhile, thinks grounding a 21-year-old is the answer—spoiler: it’s not.

This isn’t just about curfews; it’s about autonomy. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, once said, “The goal of parenting is to raise kids who can function independently” . His take? Control breeds resentment, not solutions. Here, the ex’s power play risks pushing the sons away entirely.

Broadening the lens, Stats Canada notes 1 in 5 young adults face mental health challenges, often worsened by family stress . The mom’s fostering independence; the ex’s stifling it. She’d be wise to keep her boundaries firm and let the sons mediate their dad’s demands themselves—after all, they’re not toddlers anymore.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Here’s the Reddit crew chiming in with their two cents, dishing out opinions like they’re at a family reunion potluck—some spicy, some sweet, all unfiltered. The crowd’s split between applauding this mom’s chill vibe and scratching their heads over why two grown men still have curfews. It’s a wild mix of sympathy, sass, and “wait, what?” energy that keeps the popcorn popping.

These are the loudest voices from the Reddit echo chamber, but do they really get the whole story? Maybe they’re onto something—or maybe they’re just yelling into the snowy Canadian wind. What’s your take on this family circus?

So, we’ve got a mom holding the line, an ex flexing his dusty dad muscles, and two grown sons caught in the crossfire. She’s betting on respect over rules, while he’s banking on control—guess who’s winning the popularity contest with the kids? It’s a messy family tango, but one thing’s clear: after 19 years, you don’t get to waltz in and call the shots. What would you do if your ex pulled this stunt? Drop your thoughts below!