AITA for Resenting My Girlfriend’s Friend Who Pushed Her to Cheat?

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On New Year’s Eve, an 18-year-old hoped for a night of joy, but his girlfriend’s friend had other plans, urging her to cheat—right in his home, near his little sister. The betrayal cut deep, a sting that lingered through every argument tainted by her toxic advice.

Now, as his girlfriend reconnects with this friend, he’s torn between love and self-respect. It’s a relatable clash of loyalty and boundaries, leaving readers wondering: how do you hold onto love while protecting your peace?

‘My girlfriend’s friend tells her to cheat on me constantly. I don’t like her and don’t want to be around her anymore, but I suck up to it anyway. AiW?’

Me, 18M, and my girlfriend, 17F, have been together for almost 2 years. We went through a bit of a rough patch a few months back, which resulted in a lot of bickering. We got into a small fight on New Year’s Eve. While upstairs with my sister in the room, my girlfriend’s friend decided to tell her to “break up with me for the night, and get back with me tomorrow.”

And to cheat on me. This went on with pretty much every argument we got into. I found the new years situation particularly disrespectful, because it was in my own house that I allowed her to stay at for the night because she had no where else to go, and right next to my 13 year old sister.

After these situations, I had a conversation with my girlfriend about how I very much don’t appreciate her acting that way, and how disrespectful and immature she was for the things she was saying about us. She started to distance herself from the friend, and as the friend got better and stopped talking that way and saying those things, they have started to get closer again.

I still really don’t like the whole situation and would rather not see her. It may seem immature holding this grudge but I can’t shake it. She just seems like a terrible influence on her and I don’t like it. At the same time I’m not a controlling person so I don’t want to tell her she can’t be around her, because she is her own person. Do I just live with this? What do I do.

Navigating a partner’s toxic friend can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. In this case, the young man faces a friend who’s not just overstepping but actively undermining his relationship. The friend’s bold suggestions to cheat, especially in his own home, signal a lack of respect for both him and the couple’s bond. His discomfort is valid—nobody wants a saboteur lurking in their love story. Yet, his hesitation to dictate his girlfriend’s friendships shows maturity, balancing respect for her autonomy with his own hurt.

This situation highlights a broader issue: the impact of toxic influences on young relationships. According to a 2023 study by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, peer influence significantly shapes romantic decisions in teens, sometimes amplifying conflict or insecurity. Friends who encourage betrayal can erode trust, making open communication crucial. Here, the girlfriend’s willingness to distance herself briefly suggests hope, but her reconnection raises red flags.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of boundaries: “In healthy relationships, partners protect each other from external threats, including harmful influences.” This applies directly—by not firmly shutting down her friend’s behavior, the girlfriend risks signaling that disloyalty is tolerable. The young man’s grudge isn’t just a grudge; it’s a gut check on whether his emotional safety is valued.

For solutions, he could initiate a calm, honest talk, framing it around his feelings: “I feel disrespected when your friend suggests cheating, and it makes me question our trust.” If the girlfriend can’t set firm boundaries, he may need to prioritize his well-being, even if it means stepping back.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of tough love and sage advice with a side of humor. Here’s what they had to say:

CockroachStrict2469 − You're not wrong. Your girlfriend has a toxic friend playing into her ear and encouraging her to do harmful things to you. If your girlfriend won't d**p this friend and you don't want to come off as controlling, the best option for you is to walk away from the relationship.

I feel hurt and disrespected by the things she says. I don't want to tell you who you can and can't have in your life, but my emotional well-being matters, too, and I need to do what's best for me. I think it would be best if we go our separate ways if

Good luck with the situation. I hope it goes well for you, buddy. Remember there's literally billions of other girls out there, if this relationship doesn't work out, it may hurt for a while but there will always be chances to find someone who shows you more respect and kindness. Keep your head up.

Basso_69 − Why are you allowing a toxic person to have this power over you?

[Reddit User] − You tell her you don’t deserve to be treated like this. You are breaking up with her because you don’t allow people treat you like you’re a consolation prize. Do it for your sister so she sees that actions have consequences.

classyjoe − In my own personal experience with this my girlfriend always framed it as

and was wanting to get ahead of me finding anything out and trying to get control over the situation taking something that if I was aware of it would destroy my trust in her and twisting it so my trust in her was instead reinforced. Not sure at all if this at all fits for your scenario but just throwing that out there

Shade5259 − Grow a backbone and break up with her

etownguy − look at all the stories where it's the Female friends that convince the gf/wife to cheat. you're only 17 ditch her and move onto someone who isn't gullible as play-dough

PathlessDemon − Dude, you’ve got YEARS ahead of you and you already wasted 2 on someone that should be your ex and her bimbo friend.. Move on, find someone with less baggage and a willingness to respect you as a human being.

Salt_Cube − Reddit is like that toxic friend, but for you. Be careful with the advice you receive here.

kswitch5022 − Youre young AF, cut her loose, and move on.

MikeyHatesLife − You’re not wrong to have boundaries, and her friend is disrespecting your girlfriend AND her relationship with you. As others have said, have a quiet conversation about how she’s speaking about you, and that if the friendship is that important, you’d rather not be a part of it.

(I’m not telling you to break up, just that communication is one of the most important things you need to have with a partner. You can avoid so many misunderstandings, fights, bad situations, and whole toxic relationships by talking early and often.) *The rest of what I’ve written is from an old fart’s perspective, so make what you will of some of what I’ve learned as a 53 year guy.*

Because here’s two big things to keep in mind: firstly, nobody knows what the future holds. This could be the love of your life, and you’ll be married for 80 years. But with her friend constantly interfering with the relationship, you’ll never know. Or you’ll break up and eventually meet the person you want to spend your life with *for real* for real.

Secondly, you’re eighteen. Two years is a long time to you, but your life is just beginning. You’re just starting out. It would be great to have a partner along the way, but forging your own path by yourself is just as exciting and terrifying and fun as hell.

Two years is legitimately a long time for you, but my longest relationship was twenty years. And it still felt like a blip in time. It hurt like hell when we were breaking up, and if you break up with this current girl, it’s going to feel just as terrible. But every day it will feel a little bit less painful. You won’t necessarily ever get over it 100% because there will still be good memories associated with her.

It might feel like it, but you’re not going to die if you break up. You’ve learned things about yourself, and learned about being in a relationship, that you will apply to yourself and your next partner. Regardless, you will get to a point where you’re ready to date new people, and things will feel better.

Use each breakup as they happen to become a better person and a better partner. “I didn’t like who I became, so I should avoid X in other people.” “This part was good, so someone who has Y quality should be prioritized.” This is how you get to the really good relationships: when you’ve both figured out what you need for yourselves, and what you want in others, and there’s absolutely zero need to change the other person.

If things don’t work out with your girlfriend and the evil cricket chirping in her ear, just know that tomorrow’s another day. Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world compared to having a partner who doesn’t set boundaries against someone trying to sabotage her relationship.

You have to do what works for you first, and then your relationship. If You First means not dating someone, then so be it. Your peace of mind is more important than what others think of you.. Good luck, and be safe.

These hot takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames? One thing’s clear—Reddit’s got no chill when it comes to toxic friends!

This tale of young love and meddling friends leaves us pondering the delicate art of balancing loyalty and independence. The young man’s struggle resonates with anyone who’s ever felt caught between love and self-respect. Should he trust his girlfriend to handle her friend, or is this a sign to walk away? It’s a question that lingers like the last note of a bittersweet song. What would you do if a friend tried to derail your relationship? Share your thoughts and stories below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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