AITA for requesting to be called my name instead of “mama”?

Why do some terms meant as affection feel diminishing instead? A pregnant mother of two visits her family doctor regularly, yet the nurse insists on addressing her as “mama” despite repeated corrections. The patient seeks simple respect through her actual name.

Cultural habits around nicknames vary widely. In professional settings, personal preferences often clash with assumed warmth. This encounter reveals how refusing to adapt can escalate minor discomfort into confrontation. Standing firm on identity prompts questions about politeness and boundaries.

‘AITA for requesting to be called my name instead of “mama”?’

The situation begins during routine medical visits.

I’m a mother of two and pregnant. My family doctor’s nurse was repeatedly calling me “mama” whether I came in about my pregnancy or for one of the kids. I...

I asked to be called by my name, to which she said she was being nice and I didn’t need to be rude. I said I don’t mean to be...

She tried arguing that it’s nice of her to call me that and I should be proud and happy I’m a mama (mamma? momma? not even sure) and that she’s...

The exchange intensifies with differing views on parental terms.

So I also told her that when it’s needed to address me as a parent she can call me mother because I don’t like variations of the word.

She said that’s terrible because only kids who don’t love their mothers call them that and that normal families use mom or mommy or mama etc.

but we’re not native English speakers and my kids call me mother in our language, which is for us normal and common. So I prefer the direct translation because words...

I wouldn’t have said this otherwise, I’d let it go as it’s probably a normal word to her but figured if we’re already having tension might as well get this...

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The doctor intervenes, but reactions from others vary.

The doctor heard us and told her to call me what I told her, but during the appointment said it’s strange what I requested and she sees why nurse was...

My husband says I was unnecessarily rude as well and so does my sister. She agrees I should be happy to be called so. My mom says she’s glad for...

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The conflict centers on professional address and personal identity. The nurse uses “mama” as endearment, while the patient views it as reductive outside her children. Repeated refusal to adjust ignores a clear preference, turning courtesy into imposition. Cultural differences in parental terms add layers.

The patient asserts autonomy over her name, feeling objectified. The nurse interprets correction as rejection of warmth. Family splits reflect societal pressure to accept maternal labels graciously. Communication breaks when intent overrides explicit requests.

Psychologist Deborah Tannen notes that “respecting how people want to be addressed acknowledges their identity” in professional interactions. This principle holds here. Ignoring preferences erodes trust, especially in healthcare.

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Patients can state needs firmly yet politely upfront. Professionals should note preferences in records. Switching providers ensures comfort if unresolved. Discuss cultural norms openly to bridge gaps, prioritizing mutual respect.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Social media reactions overwhelmingly supported the patient’s stance on name preferences. Users emphasized professionalism and personal boundaries in medical settings. The thread sparked shared experiences of similar discomfort.

Most commenters sided firmly with the original poster, highlighting respect for individual identity.

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zeiche − NTA. in a professional environment, you should be called your name, particularly when you ask to be called by your name. if the doctor cannot understand this, it...

KittlesLee − NTA. I’m a physician, and I think it’s weird and unprofessional to call someone by anything other than their preferred name.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I kind of hate that too. “Mama” is something my baby can call me. Anyone else calling me that as if that’s just who I am...

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Awkward_Badger7516 − NTA. We have a lot of meetings with professionals (medical and education) regarding my daughter. I often get called Mum. I hate it.

I will gently at first say ‘oh sorry, my name is (name) ‘ and play it like I forgot to introduce myself. If it is people who I know, know...

In a meeting our Lead professional did it to introduce me to our group and I jumped in with ‘no actually only two people in the world call me Mum,...

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Lexi_The_G − NTA. You asked to be addressed a certain way, and people should respect that. She may have meant nothing by it to start, but after you made it...

Stella_Wildheart − NTA and that seems weird to me to call a stranger mom or dad, i woulda been very uncomfortable too

Others reinforced the importance of names and shared strategies for enforcement.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Names are important. You are a sperate human from your children, you do not lose your identity when you become a parent. To me it is...

I have had the same conversation with doctors, school staff and others. From the get go I would stand firm and even now my adult/almost adult children's friends call me...

Stand firm. It is gonna take work and persistence but hopefully it will get corrected. When patients have called me sweetie/honey/dear/etc a quick and simple That is not my name...

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homovore_ − NTA! that’s really creepy and upsetting that she refused to give you the most basic respect, which is using the name you tell her. she should not have...

i find that if people can’t even respect your name they don’t respect anything else about you. especially a medical professional? ? i would leave a review so that others...

[Reddit User] − NTA. You set a clear boundary for the nurse to call you by your name, and she overstepped that boundary. Repeatedly! Sounds like she was just upset...

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Honestly, I share your sentiment here. I know for a lot of people “mama” is a term of endearment but I absolutely hate it, it makes me uncomfortable when people...

Doesn’t happen often but when it does, I do the same as you. I have a name, call me by it. Not even my friends have a nickname/pet name for...

imarebelpilot − NTA in any way. You asked not to be called something and she should have respected it. She, however, is a huge a__hole for a few reasons but...

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She said that’s terrible because only kids who don’t love their mothers call them that and that normal families use mom or mommy or mama etc. F__k her forever for...

Why would I get mad? That's literally what I am to her. And it didn't bother ME, the person who is being addressed. That's the ONLY person who should care...

8LeggedHugs − NTA This lady calling you mama instead of your name is kinda weird albeit probably well intended,

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but when she keeps calling you that after you asked her not too, that's where it becomes disrespectful and she's the a__hole. Asking to be called by your preferred name...

Secret_Mango5085 − NTA. She was out of line to say anything else about it once you brought up your preference.

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Mr_Ham_Man80 − NTA. This is some babification language nonsense. "Oh, how is mama today? " "Is mama ok? " Unless she's rolling up to sing the "Shortening bread" song then...

You're a human being, she should address you like that and she's being mind numbingly irritating when she doesn't.

You're a human with a baby, not a care bear fully of twinkle stars and glittery joy. Next time she asks you "How's Mama today? " just respond with "How's...

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A few offered mild nuance or related experiences.

DeliciousMeet4638 − Meh. ..they see so many patients that it's common for doctors and nurses to call parents mom or dad. It should not have been that big of a...

However, once you corrected her, she should have called you by your name. I just wouldn't be surprised if she forgot at the next appointment.

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yepanotherjennifer − NTA. I was a surrogate for my last pregnancy, I wasn't biologically related to the baby AT ALL,

so I'm NO WAY should I have been referred to as mom, momma, or mother, and yet, I kept being called momma by my OB nurses (and occasionally the doctor)...

This experience illustrates how becoming a parent does not erase individual identity. Requesting professional address by name upholds dignity, especially when casual terms feel impersonal. Persistence paid off with intervention, though mixed family views show cultural expectations linger.

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Healthcare thrives on respect for patient preferences. Simple adjustments build trust, while resistance risks alienation. Do terms like “mama” feel endearing or infantilizing from strangers? How direct would you be in correcting unwanted nicknames in professional settings?

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