AITA for requesting that my fiancee kick her sister (twin) from position of maid of honour in favour of my sister?

In a whirlwind of wedding planning, where invitations pile up and dress fittings loom, a groom’s unusual request turned a joyful engagement into a tense standoff. With just eight weeks until the big day, he’s clashing with his fiancée over her choice of maid of honor her identical twin sister fearing guests might mistake her for the bride in matching white dresses. This Reddit tale unfolds like a sitcom gone awry, brimming with bridal drama and stubborn convictions.

It’s not just about dresses or titles it’s a clash of control, trust, and wedding-day visions. With 400 guests on the horizon, the groom’s plea for clarity feels like a desperate bid to keep the spotlight on his bride. But is his worry warranted, or is he stepping on toes in a dance that’s not his to lead? Let’s dive into this matrimonial mess with a chuckle and a wince.

‘AITA for requesting that my fiancee kick her sister (twin) from position of maid of honour in favour of my sister?’

Ok so my financee eva 28 and i 29 have been together for 5 years and are due to be married in 8 weeks time.. However an issue has arisen because eva chose to make mia her twin sister her maid of honour.

originally she wasn't going to be in the bridesmaid party at all due to a complicated pregnancy but she ended up with a c section and she and baby are doing well now. Now in what i consider to be a horrific desicion eva has chosen long white dresses for the bridesmaids including her sister..

Evas dress is similar to this. and the bridesmaids are like these So not only will they all be in white i am worried as my wife and her twin are identical people will be confused all day who the bride is! we have over 400 guests and alot of people will be thinking that mia is the bride..

eva really really doesn't seem bothered by this at all and said she absolutely won't change the bridesmaids dresses. so i suggested asking mia to step down as (bridesmaid or moh honestly don't understand the differnece) so she could wear a different colour to avoid confusion.. eva was literally disgusted by this idea and shot it down immediately .

i aksed why she wouldn't consider my sister and she said seeing as my sister lived across the country and they had only met a handful of times she wasn't comfortable with it. i said she needed to come up with an alternative because I'm just not comfortable with the entire thing,

the bridesmaids being in white makes me feel like its some crazy multi wife wedding and im marrying them all, including her twin! i put my foot down and refused to do it all her way but its an unstoppable force againt an unmoving object.

finally mia called me up to ask me to drop it and said that i was stressing eva out and upsetting her but i stick by my desicion, it will make the wedding a confusing mess AITA fot wanting our wedding to make sense?

Wedding planning can turn lovebirds into sparring partners, and this groom’s dress-code crusade is a prime example. His fear that guests will confuse his fiancée with her twin sister in white bridesmaid dresses seems far-fetched, but it reveals a deeper need for control in a chaotic process. His fiancée’s refusal to budge keeping her twin as maid of honor—underscores her right to choose her closest ally, especially someone so integral to her life.

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This spat reflects a common wedding woe: clashing visions. A 2022 survey by The Knot found that 30% of couples argue over wedding planning decisions, often due to differing priorities. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, notes, “Wedding stress often amplifies underlying issues of trust and autonomy”. Here, the groom’s insistence on swapping his sister in suggests a lack of trust in his fiancée’s judgment, while her firm stance protects her bond with her twin.

Orbuch’s advice points to compromise as key. The groom could propose a subtle distinction like a sash or accessory for the bridesmaids to ease his concerns without upending his fiancée’s choices. She, in turn, might acknowledge his anxiety to foster teamwork. Open communication, perhaps over a relaxed “wedding reset” dinner, could realign their shared vision. Forcing his sister into the role, however, risks alienating his fiancée and her twin.

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Practical solutions include involving a wedding planner to mediate or agreeing on minor visual cues (like different bouquets) to distinguish the bride. This story reminds us that weddings aren’t just about the day they’re about building a partnership. By respecting each other’s priorities, this couple can turn their tug-of-war into a dance toward compromise.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s community didn’t hold back, roasting the groom for his overblown concerns and “groomzilla” antics. Many saw his demand to replace his fiancée’s twin with his sister as controlling and absurd, given the clear differences in dress styles and the twin’s deep bond with the bride.

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Others noted that white bridesmaid dresses, while unconventional, are increasingly trendy and unlikely to cause confusion. The consensus leaned heavily toward supporting the bride’s autonomy, with a few choice laughs at the groom’s “multi-wife wedding” fears.

Tr3bl3F0rt3 - YTA. Those dresses are not similar. If you truly can't tell your wife-to-be from her sister, just follow the one with the poofier skirt and the veil on her head and that should avoid confusion.

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Maid of honor is just that--the woman closest to the bride. Asking your fiancé to kick the person closest to her out of that position and putting in someone she hardly knows is a d**k move.

fourbearants - Are you a troll? Kudos for effort if so.. If not, YTA.. makes me feel like its some crazy multi wife wedding and im marrying them all Lol what? The colour of the bridesmaids dresses makes you feel like you're marrying the whole wedding party? Chill the f**k out dude.. i put my foot down and refused to do it all her way

Is the entire wedding 'her way'? Because all you've mentioned is the maid of honour (her choice) and the colour of the bridesmaids dresses. Your wedding is 8 weeks away with 400 guests. Surely you've had much longer to have a discussion about this than 'putting your foot down' with 8 weeks to go?. wanting our wedding to make sense

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Your wedding makes perfect sense apart from you throwing a s**t fit over some made up scenario in your head where people will think that Mia is the bride, instead of the woman in the giant wedding dress. Aside from the colour, the wedding dress is nothing like the bridesmaids dresses.. eva really really doesn't seem bothered by this at all

Good, so your wife to be is fine with all this, and isn't bothered by the idea (which you concocted) that people might congratulate Mia because they think she's the bride.. so i suggested asking mia to step down

Way over the line. This is Eva's choice and it's completely natural that she would choose her sister. On top of that, why the hell would she make your sister, who she only even met a few times, her MOH? It was a tactless suggestion.

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While I agree that both parties should have a say in things like wedding dress code, colours etc. you kind of throw that reasonable argument out the window with the nonsense you've been spewing about feeling like you're marrying all of them just because the dresses are the same colour.

With 8 weeks to go, the dresses have probably all be bought already no? And the wedding theme and colours are planned and (Eva thought) agreed. Seems your real probem is that Eva's sister looks like her, and that's just something you're going to have to get over considering *she's her twin*.

TheMNdude - YTA - totally, completely and without reservation this is a groomzilla move. You need to get your head on straight and apologize quickly.

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[Reddit User] - What is this preoccupation with 'making sense?' Do *you* know who you're marrying? If you're inviting people to your wedding who couldn't actually pick the people getting married out of a lineup, you've overdone the guest list.A MOH is supposed to be someone close to the bride and her sister is the obvious choice.

Making her install your sister, who she barely knows, in this role for a purely aesthetic reason would be ridiculous. Ask her to go with the dress in a light grey or wear a not-white shawl or something if it really upsets you this much. People will know who the bride is without your help, I promise.. YTA

queenofthera - YTA You serious mate? Nobody could look at the bridemaids dresses and the big poofy white one your fiance is wearing and be confused about who the bride is. What a weird thing to imagine. It's certainly an unusual choice to dress the birdemaids in white, but if that's what she wants then that's what she wants. You get to choose what the groomsmen wear.

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[Reddit User] - YTA. First of all, white bridesmaid dresses are becoming fairly popular. Second of all, your wife’s dress looks nothing like the bridesmaid’s dresses. Third of all, there are a few things you have no say in in your wedding. The bridal party- and what they wear- is one of them. Back off.

megatronsaurus - YTA for every single grievance and solution in your post. People are not going to confuse a bride for his sister. People aren’t that stupid. And kicking out for your sister is majorly a**hole level.. You’re legit freaking out for no reason at all. This is all incredibly irrational.

Northern-lurker1 - YTA you want her to replace her twin, who's likely her best friend in the world, with your sister who she's barely met, a virtual stranger. If you make her do this you'll ruin your wedding day. how would you like it if she asked your best man to sit it out so she could replace him with an uncle of hers you barely met?

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This isn't the type of thing you pull on a bride right before the wedding... the white dress thing is clearly been going on for a while since they've all been ordered so where was your opinion back then? I know they don't all look like her, like her sister will, but your whole sister wives argument should have been made way back then.

Nonojuststopthat - YTA - I’m pretty convinced that this is a s**t post as I can’t fathom anyone not getting what’s wrong with this.. But just in case this is genuine (really don’t believe so) here you go: You are the groom. Other than deciding on the budget to be allocated to that area (Together with your bride),

you don’t get a say in the bridesmaids / MOH/ dresses. At all. This is her friends with her that she is choosing. You get to choose your groomsmen. You don’t get to control the Bridal Party too. The dresses are totally different. That’s like worrying people would confuse a tux and a wet suit because they’re the same colour.

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newaxcounr - YTA. did she get to choose your groomsmen? don’t think so. she chooses her bridal party not you. why would she pick your sister who she’s only met a handful of times over her own twin just because you’re uncomfortable with the maid of honour dress. get over yourself

This wedding-day drama proves that even the happiest occasions can spark unexpected battles. The groom’s fixation on dress colors and roles reveals the stress of wedding planning, while his fiancée’s resolve protects her vision and her twin’s place by her side. It’s a reminder that love requires compromise, not control. Have you faced wedding planning clashes or tough family dynamics? Share your stories below let’s unpack how couples navigate these big-day battles!

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