AITA for reporting my sons doctor?

Picture a worried parent, watching their 6-year-old son zone out for minutes, shun playmates, and crumble at loud noises. For two years, they’ve begged his doctor for answers, only to be dismissed as a “helicopter mom” with “lax” parenting. When a science camp meltdown prompts another plea, the doctor’s snide referral to a far-off therapist is the last straw. Reported for negligence, he’s now under investigation, but a friend calls the parent a “Karen” risking his career.

This Reddit tale is a gripping clash of parental instinct and medical arrogance. Was reporting the doctor a bold stand for a child’s needs, or an overreach in a strained system? It’s a story that pulses with the urgency of advocacy and the sting of being unheard.

‘AITA for reporting my sons doctor?’

This Reddit post lays bare a parent’s fight for their son’s well-being against a dismissive doctor. Here’s their story, raw and urgent:

My son is 6 and his doctor is one of those self absorbed 'I know everything and you know nothing' type of people. My son has a lot of behavioral problems. I wont get in to it all here but it's not normal kid behavior. Spacing out completely for easily 10 minutes and not being able to get his attention AT ALL.

Refusing to hang out with kids, ever. He just sits and watches them play by himself. He is far beyond kids his age education wise but well below on the social aspect of it. He gets anxious easy, scared easy, hates loud noise, doesnt really talk, etc. His teachers want me to get him evaluated. They've raised concern multiple times.

I have told his doctor this repeatedly for 2 years. Something isnt right. His doctor always brushes me off and tells me that it's because I 'give in too much' or I'm 'too easy on him and let him get away with it so now it's a normal'. He basically says my parenting is lacking or I'm a helicopter mom and that's why he acts like this.

He only sees my kid but once a year. 2 weeks ago while my son was enrolled in advanced science camp achieve his teachers brought up his behavior again. Apparently a kid tried hanging out with him and my son started crying uncontrollably and they couldnt calm him.

I brought it up with the doctor AGAIN and his doctor gave me a wicked attitude and said 'Fine, all I can do is offer a referral for OT but not the one in this clinic because I'm not wasting my colleagues time. You can go to the one in Belfast.' Belfast is 2 hours away. I immediately reported him.

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I have dealt with a lot for the past 2 years from this guy and asked for a doctor change multiple times just to get ignored and I've had enough. So I reported him and now he is being investigated. I have had multiple people calling me and asking details of the appointments because apparently this man hasnt noted anything in my sons file.

My friend, who is also a doctor, said that I'm a f**king AH for 'acting like a Karen' because this guy will lose his doctorate if they find anything and we are already 'short on doctors due to the pandemic'. AITA?
This medical drama underscores the critical role of listening in healthcare. The parent’s concerns—spacing out, social struggles, sensory issues—suggest possible neurodevelopmental conditions like autism or ADHD, or even absence seizures, as some Redditors noted. The doctor’s failure to document these concerns or refer for evaluation over two years is a red flag, delaying potential support for the child.

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Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson, a pediatrician, states, “Dismissing parental concerns without investigation risks missing serious diagnoses” (Source). A 2023 study in Pediatrics found that 55% of parents of children with developmental delays faced initial dismissal by providers, prolonging diagnosis by up to 18 months (Source). The doctor’s lack of notes and condescending referral suggest negligence, justifying the report.

The friend’s “Karen” label ignores the stakes—a child’s health. “Advocacy isn’t entitlement; it’s necessity,” Swanson notes. The parent should seek a new pediatrician and push for a developmental evaluation, possibly through a neurologist or psychologist. Reporting may protect other families.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit weighed in with takes as sharp as a stethoscope’s chill. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

Front_World205 − NTA. Your son might have adhd or something of that sort. doctors are supposed to help you. and people like him made it hard to get an diagnosis. Edit ; he could have seziure or be on the spectrum. either or. he should got an new doctor.

BlueCarnations12 − NTA, crappy doctors do crappy work, as shown in your sons medical record. Your 'friend' isn't a friend, stop sharing info with that one.

[Reddit User] − The doctor has not taken what you said about your son seriously. This is indicated by the fact that he has kept no records. Meantime your son is spending years of his short life without any investigation leading to a potential diagnosis and support. If the doctor did not feel your son needed any intervention, the least he could have done is investigated and ruled things out.. The doctor was the a**hole not you. NTA.

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Finalbladestyle − NTA. Report that doctor if he’s doing this to you he’s doing it to others. Also sorry for backseat diagnosis here but it sounds like he has autism and adhd like I have. His behavior sounds like how I behaved when I was roughly his age. If it helps try to get him a tss worker for him it helped with me.

whiskeygambler − NTA. If he loses his job its because he failed to actually do it properly. He should not be allowed to fail other children like this. The fact that he noted NOTHING in your son’s file proves that the doctor is focused on taking the easy way out instead of, you know, actually HELPING the kids that he’s meant to.

You’re potentially saving so many other kids from suffering/helping to get adequate help by reporting him. I hope that your son can see a behavioural therapist or better doctor regularly (if necessary) and get the help and support that he needs. I’m sorry that you and he have not been listened to for years.

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uhhhhwhat22 − NTA, but I find it a tad odd you didn’t go elsewhere the first or second time he dismissed your worries. It sounds like your son is on the spectrum but as teachers said you should get him evaluated.

The doctor was an ah and same for your doctor friend. They should have taken you seriously and written a referral. If anything, should have gone on your own. Next time, trust your instincts. Don’t let someone dismiss them.

DustOfTheDesert − You are not TA! He isn’t a good doctor for brushing you and your kiddo off! I wonder if he done that to other parents?. Do research on good doctors to find a new doctor for your kiddo.

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rapt2right − NTA.. Your son needs a thorough evaluation and you are being a good advocate for your child. I am especially concerned about the 'spacing out' . I would suggest looking into 'absence seizures '. These are typically of much, much shorter duration but can , rarely, last for extended periods.

NonnyMaus2020 − NTA. He’s only there to get a paycheck, not attend to patients. For all the responses he gave you, it’s quite clear he has no interest in his profession. I would recommend switching to another doctor’s office, but research it first. You child’s health matters more than his job. What good is a doctor if they aren’t helping with their patients. Your friend can buzz off, sounds like they have the same bedpan attitude.

tentbeast − NTA. Dude has had 2 years to do or say something about your justifiable concerns. At the very least, he should have written down your concerns on your son's medical file. If I were you, I would change doctors immediately if that's a possibility for you.

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He's proven to be rude and dismissive. A dismissive doctor absolutely deserves to be reported, if you can't even listen to your patients then how can you care for them properly? Hope you and your son can get proper medical attention soon.

These Reddit opinions are as fierce as a parent’s resolve, but do they miss the systemic pressures on doctors?

This story is a potent mix of love, frustration, and accountability. The parent’s report was a cry for their son’s needs, but the backlash questions their approach. Could an earlier switch to a new doctor have avoided escalation, or was reporting the only way to spark change? What would you do if a professional dismissed your concerns about a loved one? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to fight to be heard in a medical setting?

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