AITA for removing the lock from the door of my rental property?

Picture a modest family home, now a rental property, standing quiet in a neighborhood where crime isn’t exactly a stranger. Its owner, a 39-year-old dad hit hard by a COVID job loss, relies on rent to keep his kids fed and bills paid. But when his tenant—an ex-coworker with a steady paycheck—stops paying for months, exploiting local eviction bans, the family’s stability wobbles. Desperate, the landlord yanks the door locks to jolt the tenant into paying up, a risky move in a dicey area. It works, but now the tenant’s crying foul, claiming his family was endangered.

The drama feels like a high-stakes poker game, with trust and money on the line. Was the landlord’s lock-removing gambit a clever way to protect his family, or a reckless step too far? Readers are left weighing the ethics of survival against the safety of a tenant’s kid in a tense standoff.

‘AITA for removing the lock from the door of my rental property?’

I (39M) lost my job due to COVID. Luckily my wife still got hers and I have inherited my parents' house 3 years ago and converted it into a rental property, so we have enough income to provide for bills, food and school supplies for the children (10M and 6F). Moreover, I occasionally do gardening for the neighbours in order to earn something.

The tenant living in my house is an ex coworker of mine. He did not lose his job since he joined the company many years before me. In addition, his wife also has a decent job so they have a solid income every month. Now the problem is that my coworker just stopped paying the rent some months ago because in my country (not US btw) it is not legal to evict someone atm and he wants to take advantage of the situation.

Clearly this is a problem since not only we lost a crucial income, but we also have to cover bills for the rental property out of our pocket and this is making us struggle. I am furious, so I asked my brother (who is a lawyer) what could I do to force the tenant to pay. He told me that, since he has not been paying for more than 6 months, the house is legally mine (even though I still can't evict, law is law).

Therefore I can do whatever I want, so I just removed the locks from every door (the main one and the one on the back) in order to scare my ex coworker (criminality is not exactly low here). It took a week before the tenant started paying again in order for me to add the locks again. However, he has been blaming me a lot since I put the life of his family (he has a 5yo son) at risk.. AITA?

EDIT: I want to thank everyone for your judgement and I wanted to give an update. After what I read on the comments I realised that I am entitled to the missing payments of the past 10 months, so I created an excel file and shared it with my tenant and told him that all the money he is going to give me are going to FIRST pay for the previous months of rent and

ONLY AFTER everything is paid off I will use that money for the bills, so that he will give me everything back if he likes heating and electricity. As for his kid, I offered housing for him in my house (we have a spare room) if he does not have enough money to pay me back now so that he does not freeze (the tenant will though).

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Last thing last, I wanted to say something to all the people saying 'YTA BECAUSE LANDLORDS ARE THIEVES': go buy a house if you hate landlords so much, and if you can't afford it ask yourself where would you be now if landlords did not exist :)

Landlord-tenant spats can turn into financial cage matches, especially when a global crisis like COVID tightens the screws. This landlord’s lock-removal stunt was a wild card, but was it justified? Let’s break it down with a smirk and some expert insight.

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The tenant’s refusal to pay, despite a solid income, wasn’t just a breach of contract—it was a gut punch to a struggling family. A 2021 Forbes article noted that 20% of landlords faced non-paying tenants during COVID, with eviction moratoriums tying their hands (Forbes). The landlord’s move, while extreme, was legally permissible per his brother’s advice, and it worked—the tenant paid up. But removing locks in a high-crime area risked escalating a financial dispute into a safety hazard, especially with a 5-year-old involved.

Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship and ethics expert, wrote in a 2023 The 5 Love Languages blog, “Desperate actions often stem from survival instincts, but they must be weighed against unintended harm to others” (The 5 Love Languages). The landlord’s focus was his kids’ security, but his tactic could’ve endangered the tenant’s family, souring any chance of trust. The tenant’s delay in paying after the locks were removed suggests he was testing the landlord’s resolve, not prioritizing safety.

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This highlights a broader issue: navigating financial disputes when legal systems lag behind real-world needs. The landlord’s follow-up—demanding back payments and offering the tenant’s kid a room—was a savvy way to keep pressure on without further escalation. Advice? He should maintain clear records of communications and payments, consult his lawyer brother for legal next steps, and consider mediation to avoid future stunts. Offering a payment plan could ensure steady rent while rebuilding a professional tenant relationship.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew jumped into this landlord showdown like it’s a courtroom drama, serving up hot takes with a side of righteous indignation. Here’s the raw scoop, straight from the thread:

DogsAreMyDawgs − NTA- all these other people saying E S H / Y T A because you endangered his family are ignoring the fact that he could’ve called you the day you removed those locks to start paying rent and have them put back on. He didn’t need to wait a week... he *chose* to wait a week to see if he could keep getting by without paying you. *He* endangered his family by playing this game of chicken with you, in which he was definitely in the wrong.

[Reddit User] − NTA, This is the s**t that pisses me off. I am in the US and there are plenty of people who are doing the same as your tenant. The protection that was put in place was to protect you if you couldn't pay the rent, not if you won't pay it.

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There needs to be some type of recourse for the landlords to collect the rent when people are scamming the system, landlords still have bills to pay, mortgages aren't put on hold for the pandemic, water and sewer bills still need to be paid. I realize a lot of people have been affected by the pandemic but scammers will always find a way to scam. **Sorry for the rant.**

Madame_Cheshire − NTA even a little bit. He knows you have kids and was willing to potentially let them starve (okay, maybe l’m being a bit over-the-top with this part) or go without basic necessities because he’s selfish.

Your kids and wife are your first priority and he should respect that since he has a wife and child. But he doesn’t. He’s dishonest and greedy and has no room to complain to you about “endangering” his child when he was more than willing to potentially endanger yours.

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[Reddit User] − NTA your coworker is a shady a**hole. You aren’t some faceless mega corporation, he knows you and still screwed you!

melympia − Oh, right. He knows you lost your job, and decided to add insult to injury by not paying you the rent he is obliged to pay. Only his brilliant idea backfired - eventually. I'd probably also have tried to stop their access to water, heat and electricity and not just the locks.

He himself is to blame for the fact his family got endangered. Had he not acted like a s**tty human being, he would not have had to face any consequences. However, he made his bed, and you made him lie in it. NTA. While your behavior sucks, too, it's more than justified.

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zmodine − NTA. He put your family at risk as well by not paying...

cobylg − NTA your tenant had the means to pay for rent but didn't some laws might have changed in his favour but not all of them, so you had all the right to remove the locks since he didn't want to pay for the safety that a home provides.

[Reddit User] − You tenant is a horrible human being, taking advantage of the pandemic to stop paying his bills. NTA.

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mmousey − NTA Kicking people when they are down and borderline helpless is vile behaviour. Your coworker was in a financial position to pay rent and not cripple you in desperate times, but he took advantage of the circumstances and left you in a terrible position. You did what was necessary in a desparete situation. Going through legal channels might have taken months and money to resolve that would further hurt you in your position.

u53rn4m35d0n7m4773r − NTA. You were doing something you were legally allowed to do, in order to provide for your family. Your ex-coworker is the real a**hole here and he really is in no place to talk badly about you.

Redditors largely backed the landlord, cheering his bold move against a “shady” tenant but noting the risk to the tenant’s family. Some called out the tenant’s week-long delay as proof of his gamesmanship. Do these takes hit the mark, or are they just fueling the fire?

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This rental row is a stark reminder that desperation can push people to extreme measures. The landlord’s lock-removal ploy got results, but it danced on the edge of ethics, risking a family’s safety to secure his own. It’s a messy clash of survival and responsibility. How would you handle a tenant exploiting a crisis to skip rent, especially when your family’s struggling? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this high-stakes property puzzle!

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