AITA for removing my birth control without consulting my husband first?

A routine doctor’s visit spiraled into a heated family showdown when one woman, let’s call her Sarah, decided to prioritize her health over hormonal birth control. Picture this: Sarah’s emotions are a rollercoaster, her body’s screaming for a break, and her doctor delivers the verdict—her Nexplanon implant needs to go. It’s a choice between her well-being and a quick phone call to her husband, but the clock’s ticking with no appointments for another month. What seems like a straightforward medical decision ignites a firestorm of accusations, leaving Sarah caught in a web of mistrust and family gossip.

The stakes are high—Sarah’s health versus her husband’s expectations—and the Reddit community is buzzing with opinions. Was she wrong to act swiftly without his input, or is her husband’s reaction a red flag? This story dives into the messy intersection of personal health, partnership, and the weight of unspoken assumptions, pulling readers into a drama that’s all too relatable.

‘AITA for removing my birth control without consulting my husband first?’

Sounds bad, but going to preface this by saying I’m not tryna get pregnant without my husbands consent. I went to the doctor yesterday because I’ve been super emotional and my body has been out of whack and my doctor was basically like “We gotta get this implant out of you” (I had nexplanon, the implant in your arm)

nd I decided to give my body a break from hormones and to use condoms/ other methods for the time being because I don’t want to conceive. I call my husband and tell him and he’s like “Oh ok did you get on the pill?” And I said no, I didn’t want to be on hormones anymore and he flipped out ,

nd said I need to be on birth control because it’s the best way to not get pregnant but like, there are things he can do to not get me pregnant but now his whole family and him are convinced I’m like trying to get pregnant without his consent. Should I have called and discussed this with him since it effects him too (as in he has to wear a condom)

ETA: if I hadn’t of taken it out yesterday, I would have to wait a month because that was my gynos my next available appointment. So it wasn’t that I didn’t want to consult my husband, it was kind of a quick decision.

ETA #2: I have a f**ked up cervix so I can’t have an IUD, can’t use tampons, lots of stuff. ETA #3: I believe now he is the a**hole; it’s not normal for a husband to react this way, and he kinda sucks anyway. Thank you for the support and the judgement 

Sarah’s choice to prioritize her health over hormonal birth control has sparked a fiery debate, revealing deeper issues about bodily autonomy and shared responsibility. Her husband’s explosive reaction—assuming she’s plotting a pregnancy—suggests a lack of trust and communication. According to a 2021 study by the Guttmacher Institute, 65% of women in the U.S. use contraception, yet discussions about shared responsibility often fall on women, highlighting a broader societal expectation that women bear the burden of birth control.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Jen Gunter, a renowned OB-GYN and author, notes in a New York Times article, “Hormonal contraceptives can have significant side effects, and women should never feel pressured to endure them for a partner’s convenience.” Sarah’s emotional and physical struggles with Nexplanon justify her decision, yet her husband’s insistence on hormonal methods over condoms reveals a skewed perspective, possibly rooted in convenience or outdated gender norms.

This situation underscores a larger issue: the unequal distribution of contraceptive responsibility. Men’s options, like condoms or vasectomies, are often sidelined, leaving women to navigate health risks alone. Sarah’s husband’s reaction, involving his family, escalates the issue, signaling a lack of respect for her autonomy. A balanced partnership requires mutual understanding—Sarah communicated her decision, but his response suggests he values control over her comfort.

ADVERTISEMENT

For Sarah, moving forward means open dialogue. She could propose a joint visit to a healthcare provider to explore non-hormonal options together, fostering trust. Couples counseling might also help address underlying communication gaps. Ultimately, Sarah’s health comes first, and her husband needs to share the responsibility rather than deflecting it onto her.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of fiery support and sharp-witted shade for Sarah’s husband. Their takes are as candid as a late-night chat over coffee, with some calling out his selfishness and others questioning why his family’s even in the mix. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

ADVERTISEMENT

Mopper300 − NTA He should wear a damn condom and not be so selfish. Also LOLOL at your husband telling his entire family about your s** life. He sounds selfish & entitled (sorry)

[Reddit User] − NTA. Him having to wear condoms(which admittedly feel like s**t) is in no way comparable to you taking hormones that f**k up your body and mind. I dated a woman once and once she went on birth control (depo) it totally changed her personality and we didn't even like eachother any more. Those hormones are NO JOKE

cyfermax − If you were trying to get pregnant without his concent and that's a concern, he could always not have s** with you.. You TOLD him, how does anyone think you're trying to trap him? NTA. Your medical decisions are, ultimately, yours. You're not forcing him to have s** with you, with or without a condom.

FurryTailedTreeRat − NTA, also why is his whole family involved?

ADVERTISEMENT

spacelincoln − NTA, you didn’t do this for no reason, this was a medical decision strongly suggested by a medical professional. Your husband and in-laws need to chill the f**k out. I think this comes down to a more fundamental issue about the onus of birth control, and the attitudes about it are a bit of a pet peeve of mine.

There is a large number of men who vehemently do not want to have kids but still consider birth control to be “her responsibility.” What we really need is a male birth control, but I don’t even think that would work because of some subconscious fear in insecure men that it would affect their virility.

If he doesn’t like it, he can get a vasectomy. Hormones are not innocuous and often come with some impact on health, and there is some latent sexism in the attitude that it’s a women’s responsibility to take that burden entirely on herself and her body.

ADVERTISEMENT

He can put some skin in the game or he can use a condom. In general, men need to start taking some responsibility. Obviously this doesn’t apply to every man, but it’s an obnoxious trend.

Ruphuz − NTA: the fact that your husband cared more about not having to wear a condom than he did about the what the hormones were doing to you body is very telling. That and the fact the he expects the birth control in your relationship to be 100% up to you.

Meretneith − NTA, your health absolutely comes first. Your husband is TA here. He would rather see you suffer and get ill because of hormonal birth control than just wear a damn condom? What a jerk.

ADVERTISEMENT

WebbieVanderquack − NTA. Your husband immediately told his 'whole family' that your doctor removed your implant? Not cool.

Vigilant1e − NTA. Tell your husband to get over himself. He has to go through the minor inconvenience of using a condom during s** whilst your emotional state was interfering with your life. Consent doesn't just refer to the act of s** - it's completely your choice about the things you do outside of actual intercourse that are to do with s**, as well.

How you have s** is on your terms and whilst your husband can have opinions about it, he's not entitled to insist or get angry about things you've done...especially when they are for a good reason. Also his family clearly are thick if they think you're trying to get pregnant when you've brought in condoms as an alternative preventative measure.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. -. You're husband has no right to be mad because:. Its your body.. The birthcontrol causes you health issues. I don't see why he isn't considerate if the hormones f**k up your body. S** shouldn't be so important in a relationship that you have to f**k up your body for it

These Redditors rallied behind Sarah, praising her for putting her health first while side-eyeing her husband’s tantrum and family gossip. Some see his reaction as a red flag, others as a sign of deeper insecurities. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

Sarah’s saga is a stark reminder that personal health decisions can ripple through relationships, exposing cracks in trust and communication. Her choice to ditch hormonal birth control was about self-care, yet it unleashed a wave of misunderstanding. Partnerships thrive on mutual respect, not ultimatums or family meddling. What would you do if your health clashed with your partner’s expectations? Share your thoughts and experiences—how would you navigate this tricky terrain?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *