AITA for reminding my accountant he is professionally obligated to keep my tax and work history confidential, especially from his son?

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A routine Zoom call with her accountant took a sharp turn when a young woman’s past surfaced in her tax returns, revealing her brief stint as a cam model during college. The accountant, a trusted family friend, pressed her to share this with his son, her casual partner, hinting he might not keep it confidential. Stunned, she firmly reminded him of his professional duty to protect her privacy, a stance that left him bristling. The exchange exposed not just a clash over ethics but a web of personal ties complicating their professional bond.

The fallout rippled through her thoughts, as she grappled with her right to control her narrative and the accountant’s unsettling overreach. With family and friends unaware of her past, the stakes felt high. This story unravels the delicate balance of trust, confidentiality, and personal autonomy in a tangled relationship dynamic.

‘AITA for reminding my accountant he is professionally obligated to keep my tax and work history confidential, especially from his son?’

I have been working with CPA who is a close friend of my dad’s. He does my taxes and helps me put together documents when I need them. Recently, he needed to go over my previous tax returns for something but I didn’t have the copies, so I just paid for a form 4506 or something to get the IRS transcripts to him.

After we went through my tax returns, he discovered something in my employment history that I had never mentioned to anyone. In college and grad school, I was a cam model for an agency that is completely legit and 2257 compliant. But it does show up in my tax returns because I paid taxes on the earnings.

So I told him the cam model work history, and he looked visibly upset (through zoom anyway). Part of the reason is that he knows his son and I are fooling around (strictly f**k buddies) and that his son is really into me, and wants things to be serious. I already get the sense that he is not into our friendship.

I think this work history just confirmed whatever fears he had. So he asked me if I told his son about this work history, and I said no. He suggested that I should disclose this to him, and I told him if and when I think it is appropriate for me to tell him, I will do it and it will come from me, not anyone else.

Then he followed up with a thought that really shocked me. He doesn’t think he can keep this information from his son because it is such a big deal. I reminded him my tax forms and information within those forms are confidential, and that he has an obligation to maintain my confidentiality.

He was not happy, to put it very mildly. I really don’t think he is in any position to disclose my work history to anyone, including his son, and that when and how I chose to disclose my brief cam modeling side job to my s** partners is my prerogative. Am I thinking this the wrong way??

Update/edit: Hi, thanks for all the private messages. Some were very kind, some...not. Many have urged me to update this to include my past relationship with my accountant because it is highly relevant to them,

and people were digging through the comments to find it. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about the history with my accountant when I composed the post because it was so long ago. When I was in college (like freshman to junior years), I used to give him fellatio regularly.

He divorced his ex wife as soon as his son (my age) left for college and was just super horny. But I ended that and it has been more than a few years, and certainly I have not agreed to any of his d**k since I hired him as my accountant after grad school.

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My accountant threatened to tell his son about this if I didn’t disclose my work history, after I had posted. Sorry that it only came up in the comments.. Also, I’m surprised by all the new followers. I guess follower notifications is a new thing?

This confrontation illustrates how the line between personal and professional can be easily crossed when the relationship is complicated. The woman was right to ask the accountant to keep her past as a webcam model, a sensitive piece of information from her tax records, a secret. The accountant’s duty of confidentiality is absolute, and his suggestion to reveal it to his son, even if it was out of concern, was a breach of professional ethics. The situation was further complicated by the fact that she had a personal relationship with him, but this did not relieve him of his duty of confidentiality.

Privacy is paramount, especially when it comes to financial information. The accountant has no right to judge or pressure her into revealing her past, especially when she has decided when to share it with her sexual partner. His threat to reveal the information shows a lack of professionalism, which could have legal consequences if confidentiality laws are violated.

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Ethics experts advise that accountants must separate their personal feelings from their work. The woman should consider changing accountants to avoid conflicts of interest, and document all communications to protect herself. A frank conversation, highlighting the legal consequences, may prevent him from acting rashly. She also needs to decide whether to share her past with his son, given their relationship.

To avoid a similar situation, choose a professional service with no personal contact. Readers facing this issue should consult local privacy laws and seek legal help if necessary. The story highlights the importance of protecting privacy and setting clear boundaries in professional relationships. Share your thoughts below.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users were divided, with many supporting the woman’s stance on confidentiality, condemning the accountant’s unprofessional threat to disclose her cam modeling past. They urged her to switch accountants and explore legal options, especially if her state requires two-party consent for recordings, emphasizing that her privacy rights trump personal biases.

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Shwop87 − NTA - But my paranoia over him now having that sort of info about you weirds me out and Id be going somewhere else for accounting help. I’d also be asking the lawyer Reddit’s about this.. Edit: Old cam porn tax returns are the least of the weird mess OP is in.

Princess_Crunchy − NTA. He is being incredibly unprofessional and if he discloses secure tax information i would hope that you would take legal action or at least make sure everyone of his clients knows hes a blabbermouth. Confidentiality agreements exist for a reason.

Grizzledumps − No way to say this without sounding judgemental, so I'll just say it. You stated in the comments that you are also hiding from your boyfriend the fact that you were giving his dad oral s**.. That seems like a pretty important fact to hide from a partner. If I found out my GF was blowing my dad at any point in time, that would be a huge deal breaker. ESH

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somedayillfindthis − ESH. Your accountant, whom you previously had s**ual relations with, is also the father of your bf. And a friend of your dad's. Can see why he can't separate work and personal life when you two are connected in multiple ways.

You should not have hired him at all. Plus, most people do not want to sleep with someone who also had s** with their parent. Hiding what you did with his dad is worse than hiding a job from long ago.

ET318 − NTA. I think you need a new accountant.

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hellnospyro − So you used to blow this guy. Now you're f**king his son??. YTA get a new accountant jesus christ

GreyOlson − NTA at all - he absolutely should NOT be sharing that without your permission. He shouldn't even be talking to you about that, that's none of his business, and none of his son's business.

[Reddit User] − I was going to say NTA, but after reading your comments ESH. You need a g**damn therapist, not a lawyer. There's a fine line - but still ***a line*** \- between being s** positive and f**king with people. I'd never castigate someone for being a cam model - f**k it - even if they were a s** worker.

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Peoples lives are their own. That being said, I have some huge f**king reservations if you were blowing his dad for a year and now you failed to tell him that -then you're kind of a f**king monster.. ​ I am sure you can connect the dots; they're a family. They're father and son.

They had a relationship before you were in the picture. Sure, **by law** he cannot/should not disclose any of your information to anyone. But reading between the lines here, this doesn't seem to be so much about the 'duty as a CPA' as it is about you maintaining some serious leverage over him.

You sound like you're on a sick power trip here/have some serious s**ual issues to work out. 'If you tell your son \[whose in love with me and who you probably valuable above your own life\] my employment history, then i'll tell him I used to suck you off'. 1. you should probably have NEVER used him as a CPA in the first place

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2. On some level you must know its not okay to hide your previous relationship with him from his son - especially if you two are hooking up and he wants to be in a relationship with you. This is DSM-V personality disorder territory. Go f**king see someone before you ruin this kids life - and probably your own.

[Reddit User] − Info- does your current fuckbuddy know you used to do stuff with his dad? If you’re considering being anything serious with him you need to tell him you used to suck his dad off and that you used to be a cam boy. He needs to know because he may not want to be in a relationship with someone that has done these things.

IsThisRealLife201520 − Good learning moment. Don't ever do personal business with people you know, if there is anything that you wouldnt want them to see. Awkward.. He is wrong, he can't disclose it. NTA.

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However, some criticized her for not disclosing her past relationship with the accountant to his son, calling it a significant omission in their casual relationship. They felt both parties blurred professional and personal lines, complicating the situation, but agreed the accountant’s duty to confidentiality should remain inviolate.

This woman’s clash with her accountant over her private past reveals the fragile line between trust and professional duty. Her firm defense of her confidentiality, shadowed by complex personal ties, left their relationship strained but her autonomy intact. As she navigates this ethical minefield, her story prompts reflection on safeguarding privacy in professional spaces. How would you handle a breach of trust in a professional relationship? Share your experiences or advice below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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