AITA For Rejecting My Father’s Apology After He Left Me In A Cult?

In a quiet corner of a college dorm, a 19-year-old student stares at her phone, heart racing as she types a fiery response to a Facebook post. The words spill out, raw and unfiltered, exposing a wound that’s festered for a decade. This isn’t just a family spat—it’s a public reckoning with a father who, in her eyes, abandoned her to a controlling, cult-like upbringing under her Jehovah’s Witness mother. The post goes viral, igniting drama and forcing her to confront the fallout.

Her story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, pulls readers into a whirlwind of betrayal, anger, and unresolved pain. As she navigates her father’s tearful apologies and his new family’s pleas, the question lingers: was she wrong to air her truth so publicly? With vivid emotions and a relatable struggle, her tale hooks us, making us wonder how far we’d go to reclaim our narrative.

‘AITA For Rejecting My Father’s Apology After He Left Me In A Cult?’

I grew up in basically a cult. When I was 9, my father got a divorce from my mom and eventually moved out to another state. He would come down and see me and my mom made it difficult as she could to facilitate our relationship. He remarried when I was 15 and didn't even try to get custody of me after I asked.

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I cut him off for a while because I felt that he abandoned me completely with my psychotic mother. I'm now 19 and I've gone no contact with my mother. I stayed for a few months with my father after I moved out at 18 but got my own place shortly after college started. My father has tried for a while to re-establish a relationship but I'm not really up for it.

I see him occasionally for dinner or holidays but other than that I don't really engage with him. I find him as bad as my mother because he left me with her. Earlier this year, I was tagged in Facebook post by my father's wife, wishing my father a happy birthday. It was also apparently a pregnancy announcement.

She had to nerve to say my father was an amazing man and father and mentioned me by name. I ended up replying 'I don't consider this man a good father. He's a c**ard who left me with an evil mother while he created a new family. He's going to run out on you and your kid like he did with me. He's truly a terrible human being.'.

It caused a bit of drama and his wife ended up deleting the post entirely. I have been since contacted by members of his wife's family, saying that they had no idea my father was that kind of man. I ignored the messages. My father and his wife both tried contacting me which I've refused to reply to. Their child was born with severe health issues but I haven't met her yet.

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My father has broken down crying and apologized a few times over the past year for leaving me with my mother. He claims he was abused by my mother and didn't know how to deal with her. But I was the child who needed protecting, not him. I told him as such and I have no plans to forgive him.. AITA?

Family estrangement stories like this one cut deep, revealing how past choices ripple into the present. The young woman’s pain stems from feeling abandoned, a sentiment that’s all too common when parents prioritize their own escape over their children’s safety. Her public outburst, while messy, reflects a desperate need to be heard after years of silence.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family estrangement, notes, “When children feel abandoned, they often carry a profound sense of rejection that shapes their ability to trust” . Here, the daughter’s anger is fueled by her father’s failure to seek custody, leaving her with an abusive mother. His claim of being a victim himself complicates the narrative, but as Coleman suggests, adult survivors must still protect their children—a duty he seemingly neglected.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: the long-term impact of growing up in high-control religious environments. Studies show that children raised in such settings often face emotional and psychological challenges, with 70% of former Jehovah’s Witnesses reporting trauma . Her refusal to forgive reflects a protective boundary, not pettiness.

For her, therapy could help process this trauma, as Coleman advocates for structured communication to rebuild trust—if she chooses.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s takes on this drama are as spicy as a family reunion gone wrong. Here’s what the community had to say:

[Reddit User] − NTA listen two things can be true here:. 1. Your dad was a victim. 2. Your dad was a terrible father. These are not mutually exclusive things. Plus his wife should not pretend that your dad was there for you. He got remarried when you were 15. Presumably for most of your adolescence she didn’t know you at all.

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So she couldn’t be under the delusion that your dad had a role in your life. Please if you can seek therapy. You don’t have to have a relationship with your dad. But therapy will help work through the very real trauma and disappointment you feel here.. Edit: thanks for the awards!

SaturnFirefly − NTA. Your father was a victim too, and he decided to get himself out, which is fair enough. But he also decided to do that at the expense of leaving you behind, alone, with a woman he knew was abusive. I don't know if I'd be able to forgive that, ever.

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As in, I wish you the best but don't ever talk to me either.  So, as far as I am concerned, any relationship you have with him should ALWAYS be on your terms, and he and his wife most definitively don't get to use you to display their happy family without your consent,

and they deserve to be called out if they do. I agree with everyone here saying that you should do therapy, but it should be for you, not in order to restore a relationship with your father that you are absolutely entitled to choose not to have.

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ReinaDulce − NTA. Your feelings are valid and her parading you about as a happy child is hurtful. She brought it out for everyone to see so were you supposed to just suffer in silence? Honestly with your sister having health issues things might get too hard for him and it’s possible he leaves them too because he’s not emotionally stable enough.

UnevenGlow − NTA at minimum he could’ve gone for custody when you were a teen old enough to tell the court what you preferred.

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goketchumall − NTA. This woman was using you to make her point when you clearly don’t agree about it. Maybe it wasn’t so nice to put your personal family matters onto a public platform, but what you said were your honest feelings about your dad. He did abandon you and he doesn’t get the right to pretend that he was the best father.

Maximum_System_7819 − NTA. She should not have tried to include you on a public Facebook post. He’s not entitled to your forgiveness and you are right that you were the child. Talk to him when you feel like it. You don’t have to deal with his baggage now when he didn’t deal with you and your needs when you were a child.

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Troper42 − NTA I don’t know why people are trying to come for you lol. I was raised JW too and remember having nightmares about going to hell especially in elementary/middle school so trust I can understand. The users don’t seem to realize that its much easier leaving as an adult than as a child (minus disfellowship and obvious emotional manipulation and guilt).

Like I remember one of the women in my KH divorcing her husband and taking her daughter, so it’s not unheard off and it wasn’t like you’d be disfellowshipped as an unbaptized kid. I don’t harbor the same intense emotions towards JW you must feel (I started distancing myself in hs and my mom’s still practicing but I make sure my little brother know he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to and I’ll back him but he seems into it rn).

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My dad wasn’t religious but let her do as she pleased cause he didn’t view it as harmful. But in the case of your dad he KNEW the harm and pain he went through and didn’t even bother to check if you might also want a choice in the matter?? That’s pure negligence. You have every right to be upset, indoctrination is a shittyy experience and these people don’t know your story to be trying to trivialize it

trip_the_darkness − NTA and, honestly, I’m shocked and horrified that anyone is trying to say otherwise. I’ve done a lot of research on JWs lately to tie into something I’m trying to write. We’re talking hundreds of hours of reading firsthand accounts and documents.

I don’t half-ass my information finding, as I am formally trained in how to do so. And I would NEVER think I knew enough to talk over the lived experience of a survivor. It just doesn’t compare. I wouldn’t want anyone speaking over my own lived experiences.

Even if your dad did everything he could (which it seems pretty clear that he did not), you would still be well within your rights to be pissed at him. Because, in the end, he, an adult, who had made a choice to be in the religion in the first place, got to get away and move on with his life and, as a child, you did not. There’s just no planet on which that’s okay or easily forgivable.

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Powersmith − It sounds like your dad was broken. Cults are as disruptive as a major mental illness to agency, judgment, and decision-making. So now you have a choice to stew in bitterness for years, decade, life... or open your mind to the possibility of growth, forgiveness, and inner peace. Re the post... having bad feelings for being disappointed in him is not AH,

but posting shaming him on FB was a little cruel... so I think the only fair judgement is ESH. Sure I’ll be downvoted ... this subreddit loves revenge and cheers on family alienation and grudgholding... but in this case you’re only clinging to misery, he’s not a toxic presence in your life, you only lose out by clinging to bitterness.

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cara180455 − NTA. He completely failed you as a father. He had a responsibility to you and couldn’t be bothered to take care of you. There’s something so disgusting about people who f**k up raising their kids and then decide to have a do-over family. He deserves for everyone around him to know what he’s really like and how he chose to fail you.

These opinions range from fiery support to nuanced takes on forgiveness, but do they capture the full complexity of her pain?

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This young woman’s story is a raw reminder that family ties can fray under the weight of neglect and unresolved trauma. Her public call-out may have been impulsive, but it gave voice to a child who felt invisible. As she navigates her boundaries, we’re left wondering: where does healing begin when trust is shattered? What would you do if faced with a similar betrayal? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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