AITA for rehoming the pets my mom got me for my birthday?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a teenage girl’s face lighting up as she’s handed three fluffy chinchillas, her dream pets, on her seventeenth birthday. The joy is palpable, like a burst of confetti in her heart—until she notices their cramped, flimsy travel cage, barely fit for a hamster. Determined to give them the life they deserve, she plans to buy a spacious cage with her hard-earned savings, only to be stopped by her mom’s surprising refusal.

The tension brews like a storm in their cozy home, as her mom insists the chinchillas don’t need more space and won’t live long anyway. Caught between her love for the animals and her parents’ disapproval, the girl makes a bold choice that leaves her questioning if she’s the villain in this family tale.

‘AITA for rehoming the pets my mom got me for my birthday?’

I am 17 and a Female my birthday was 2 weeks ago and my mom got me 3 chinchillas. I had been saving up money through my job to buy my own supplies and chinchillas. I was surprised when my mom handed me the animals on my birthday. I was excited as they are a dream pet of mine.

she gave them to me in a really small travel cage sorta thing. (think one of those really s**tty hamster cages little kids keep their hamsters in). with the money, I got for my Birthday including the money I had saved up I had enough to get a multi-level cage and all the supplies and toys I would need and still have around 100 or so dollars left over.

I didn't want to keep the chinchillas in the small cage they came with for long so after checking over my budget one my time and clearing a space in my room. I told my mom I was heading to the pet store to grab a bigger cage and some supplies.

My mom stopped me dead in my tracks and said I wasn't allowed to go. this started an argument between us. my mom was going about how she thought chinchillas only live a few months and she didn't want a huge stinky cage in her house and how I was wasting my money on something that's probably not going to live that long.

Since chinchillas are like a dream pet for me I've done a lot of research about chinchilla care and I kept telling her they live for around 10 years and need lots of room to play. but she kept saying 'well in the pet store they said they'd be fine in that cage I got you'

or 'In the wild, they don't live that long I'm sure they get eaten anyway' It got really frustrating for me since I want to be a responsible owner and care for the animals properly by my mom kept insisting I was being overdramatic.

Since I wasn't allowed to get the stuff I need for the chinchillas I told my mom I was going to rehome them. she went off and called me dramatic, selfish, ungrateful, and rude. my dad came home later that day and told me I should apologize to my mom and keep my pets that I was being unreasonable and acting like an a**hole towards my mom.

I refused to apologize to my mom and got into contact with a friend of mine who I know takes great care of her chinchillas and had an extra cage I offered her the animals and she took them and paid me.

I went home and tried to give the money to my mom to pay her back and she got mad and called me an ass and said I was ungrateful and acting like a terrible daughter.. ​. Am I the ass for hurting my mom's feelings?

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This family showdown over chinchillas is more than a birthday gift gone wrong—it’s a clash of values over responsibility. The teen’s instinct to prioritize the animals’ welfare, while her mom’s resistance stems from a lack of research and control over household decisions.

This situation underscores a common issue: impulsive pet gifting. According to the ASPCA, nearly 20% of pets are surrendered due to unprepared owners (source: ASPCA). The mother’s belief that chinchillas live only months ignores their 10-15 year lifespan, a fact easily found on pet care sites like PetMD)]. Her insistence on a tiny cage dismisses the animals’ need for space to thrive.

Dr. Laurie Hess, a veterinarian specializing in exotic pets, notes, “Chinchillas require large, multi-level cages to support their active nature and inadequate housing can lead to stress and behavioral issues” (source: Vetstreet). Here, the teen’s effort to provide proper care was blocked, leaving rehoming as a responsible choice. Her mom’s reaction—calling her ungrateful—may reflect hurt feelings over a gift rejected, but gifts don’t excuse neglect.

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For resolution, open dialogue could clarify intentions. The teen could share research to educate her parents, while acknowledging her mom’s gesture. Families facing similar conflicts should research pets together before gifting, ensuring everyone’s on board with care responsibilities to prevent future disputes.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew dove into this pet saga like it was a backyard debate, tossing out cheers and jabs with gusto. Here’s the raw pulse from the crowd, buzzing with support and a dash of snark:

9okm − NTA. Whoa. Your Mom scares me a bit.

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Readalie − NTA. The welfare of the animals was the top priority here. It seems like your mom forgot that these were living creatures and not toys. Even if they did only live a few months, they would have deserved to live those months in a comfortable environment.

The fact that she didn't even bother to research them enough to learn how long they live and what kind of habitat they need before buying them for you makes her even more of TA. Your Dad is also TA for siding with her on this.

Also, a small cage would smell just as bad as a large one, if not worse due to the animals being crammed together. EDIT: Wow, did NOT expect this to get such a big response. Thanks so much for the awards, but if you’re thinking of adding to them please consider donating to your local animal rescue instead.

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Kythsharra − NTA. Your mother is refusing to allow you to enrich their lives and provide proper housing for them. Your father is clearly not hearing the whole story and since it's *your* money, she really can't stop you. But since she's trying to prevent you and everything else, do what you need to do to give them a good home.

RVFullTime − NTA. Your mother has no feelings other than pure selfishness. Your father is no better. Someone who abuses animals and who tries to force you to go along with it is a cold hearted monster. And then she tried to guilt trip you for refusing to participate. Don't feel guilty about her poor little fee-fees being hurt.. Move out as soon as you are old enough.

ComfortableZebra2412 − NTA not sure why in the world your mom thought they only lived a short time?. That's truly bizarre, you did the right thing, no animals should be neglected

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asdrfgbn − NTa. she went off and called me dramatic, selfish, ungrateful, and rude.. 'Ok.' my dad came home later that day and told me I should apologize to my mom and keep my pets that I was being unreasonable and acting like an a**hole towards my mom.. 'I will not torture animals to make my mother happy.'

backaritagain − NTA. I run an exotic pet shelter and I thank you for being mature and responsible. Your mom, well, that is another story. I hope you get chinchillas i. The future. They are awesome pets!

dawizrardking − NTA. This reminds me that my boyfriends mom bought a pug thinking they only lived a few years and asked us when he was going to die since he’s already 10. You did what was right for the animals...your mom should never buy pets again if she isn’t going to actually take proper care of them.

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ecto412 − NTA. I normally don't like people getting rid of pets but these circumstances are a little bit different. This wasn't your bad decision, it was your mothers. Your mom is a HUGE AH. A pet is a living animal and not an object. I'm sure that she wouldn't like to be confined to the bathroom for her entire life.

HelpMeUpPls − Wow, does your mom do this often? Give a gift but be so controlling about it that it makes it impossible to enjoy? NTA, and thank goodness you are kind, responsible pet owner. Too bad your dad enables your mom.

These Redditors rallied behind the girl’s choice, applauding her maturity or shading her mom’s cluelessness. Some saw the tiny cage as a recipe for cruelty; others urged her to stand her ground. But do their fiery takes nail the full story, or are they just stirring the drama pot?

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This tale of birthday chinchillas and family friction reminds us that doing the right thing can spark unexpected battles. The teen’s choice to rehome her pets wasn’t about rejecting a gift but embracing responsibility—a move that deserves applause, not shade. It’s a story that invites us to reflect on balancing family expectations with personal values. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!

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