AITA for refusing to use a “trading” system in my own home?

The faint clink of a locked closet door echoed through a modest three-bedroom home, where a 17-year-old stood, clutching a tattered piece of Monopoly money, denied toothpaste by their own brother. At 23, the brother had transformed their shared space into a bizarre marketplace, hoarding essentials like toilet paper and snacks, doling them out only for his made-up currency. For the teen, each “transaction” felt like a blow to their dignity, especially with frequent nosebleeds exhausting their “funds.”

Their mother, a retired Navy veteran funding nearly all household needs, tiptoed around the tension, sneaking supplies to her child to avoid conflict. When a torn Monopoly bill sparked a heated clash, the teen’s frustration boiled over, questioning the absurdity of this system. This tale unravels a family grappling with control, peace-keeping, and the cost of basic needs.

‘AITA for refusing to use a “trading” system in my own home?’

I’m [17] living with my [23] brother and my [45] mother in a three bedroom home. Every single aspect of our house is overseen by my brother. He’s extremely cheap with his money and requires us to use a system he created where we trade him monopoly money for goods in the house.

This includes, paper plates, paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, snacks, drinks and anything else that normally would be in cabinets in a house he stores in his closet. My brother works and contributes to about 5% of the groceries in the house, my mom supporting us with the other 95% from her retirement fund from the Navy.

He justifies him buying a couple items means he gets to control all the goods in the house. We’ve been doing this system for about 4 months now and I’m on wits end. I feel absolutely demeaned when I need to keep track and use Monopoly money when I need some dental floss or toilet paper,

I use a lot because I get frequent nose bleeds, so I often run out of money and need to use old rags from my garage. We’re by no means poor, my mom is just frugal, nowhere to the extent of my brother, but she buys anything we need and we have everything we need

but my brother holds it behind his closet and guards it like a security guard, it’s ridiculous. So earlier today I ran out of toothpaste so I went to my brother with a torn Monopoly money, (we’ve had this same game for 5 years so the money is worn as well) and he said it’s unusable because of its condition.

I told him he’s being a complete a**hole and he has a god complex for caring so much about a made up currency. My mom has this kind of keep the peace viewpoint with us so she goes along with the system and sneaks me snacks and things that she needs to buy secretly,

because my brother waits for our mom to get back from the store by the front door and helps her bring them all up to his room. She’s upset that we’re fighting and has kindly asked if this is something worth arguing for, after that I’ve been thinking about it a lot and need advice, so Reddit.... Am I the a**hole here?

Living under a sibling’s rigid control can turn a home into a battleground, as this teen’s experience shows. The brother’s Monopoly money system, governing access to necessities, reflects an unhealthy power dynamic, especially since he contributes minimally to household costs. The teen’s frustration is understandable—being forced to “pay” for toothpaste or toilet paper demeans their autonomy. The mother’s passive approach, while well-intentioned, enables this control, leaving the teen vulnerable to escalating restrictions.

Such dynamics can mirror coercive control, a form of emotional abuse. A 2023 study from the National Domestic Violence Hotline notes that controlling access to resources, even in non-romantic relationships, can erode well-being. The brother’s obsession with his currency’s condition suggests a need for dominance rather than practicality, particularly troubling given the mother’s financial support covering most household needs.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family therapist Dr. John Townsend advises, “Healthy families set boundaries where no single member monopolizes resources or power”. The mother could intervene by asserting her authority, redistributing essentials, and discussing fair contributions with both children. The teen’s confrontation, while heated, signals a need for change, but a calmer approach—perhaps a family meeting—might yield better results.

To resolve such conflicts, families should prioritize open communication. The teen could propose a shared budget for household goods, managed collectively, to dismantle the brother’s system. Readers facing similar overreach might consider involving a neutral mediator, like a counselor, to reset boundaries. This story highlights the importance of equitable access to home resources, ensuring all family members feel respected. Share your thoughts below.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users rallied behind the teen, labeling the brother’s system as absurd and controlling. Many criticized his minimal financial contribution while hoarding essentials, seeing his refusal of torn Monopoly money as a power trip. They viewed the teen’s outburst as justified, given the demeaning nature of “trading” for basic needs.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your family is crazy. The fact that your mother doesn’t tell your brother to knock off his b**lshit is absolutely ridiculous.

canttaketheshyfromme − NTA, your brother is an abuser and I wouldn't feel safe around anyone that controlling.

UniqueRooster − NTA, the over controlling system aside refusing money because it’s ripped makes no f**king sense, he’s power tripping.

ADVERTISEMENT

ca_agent − NTA - This is literally abusive and controlling to the extreme. He isn't your Dad. Tell him to f**k off and get whatever you want whenever you want. Those rules were made to be broken. Break them and keep breaking them.

StuTheSheep − NTA. Your brother is a d**k, and your mother's avoidance of confrontation in the face of you being denied basic necessities like toilet paper and toothpaste is downright negligent.. ​. Are you still in high school? I suggest telling one of your school counselors.

spookygirl1 − she’s upset that we’re fighting and **has kindly asked if this is something worth arguing for,**. Yes, it is! It's extreme and weird and is making life miserable for you and it HAS to end. NTA. You would be completely justified in calling CPS and letting them know what you're dealing with if your mom does not put a stop to this.

ADVERTISEMENT

bluehills29 − NTA. This system is abusive. Suggest to your mother that she give you an allowance and you will buy your own supplies to be kept in your own room. She and your brother can keep playing this game themselves.

artificialn0cturne − NTA. I cannot stress enough that this level of control is not normal and abusive. He is not in charge, he is not a parent. Even then you should not have to ask for permission for basic needs.

I'm not really sure if this would help since there may be reasons why this hasn't stopped already but maybe try sitting down with your mom and have a serious conversation on why this needs to stop and how to confront your brother about it.

ADVERTISEMENT

TheNonDuality − NTA. He takes your mom’s money and runs the household?

rp2865 − NTA. Your mom should step in to stop your young-adult brother from power-tripping you like you're a 12-year old, unless of course there's some other reason that kind of vigilance is required (but I do not see one, burning through toilet paper a bit quickly for nosebleeds doesn't seem like that kind of reason, and caring about the money's condition is ridiculous anyway).

Some also faulted the mother’s passivity, urging her to reclaim authority and end the system. Suggestions included the teen securing personal supplies or seeking external support, like a counselor, to address the unhealthy dynamic. The consensus was clear: no one should barter for necessities in their own home.

ADVERTISEMENT

This teen’s stand against their brother’s bizarre trading system exposes the strain of control within a family. The brother’s grip on essentials, enabled by their mother’s peace-keeping, clashes with the teen’s need for dignity and access. As they navigate this surreal home life, their story prompts reflection on setting boundaries and reclaiming fairness. How would you handle a family member’s overreach in your home? Share your experiences or advice below—let’s keep the conversation going.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *