AITA For refusing to treat my foster brothers like my real brothers?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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A 13-year-old girl, squeezed into a shared room with her four brothers, faces a storm when she divides a bag of candy among only her biological siblings, snubbing two foster brothers she calls “evil.” Her parents, who let the foster kids run wild, punish her and her older brother, fueling her resentment in a home stretched thin by favoritism and neglect.

This isn’t just about sweets—it’s a cry from a teen drowning in family chaos. Her stand, born of frustration, earns Reddit’s empathy, with calls to alert authorities. Like a room too small for hope, the story unveils the strain of foster care gone awry, asking how kids cope when parents pick favorites.

‘AITA For refusing to treat my foster brothers like my real brothers?’

So, I'm the only girl (13). I have four brothers (15, 9, 5, 2), and my parents foster kids sometimes. We've had these two brothers (10 + 12) for two years, and my parents are talking about adopting them. The thing is, these kids suck. I know they're like young, but they are just evil.

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Me and my brothers are very close (and all five of us share a room because the foster kids need their own rooms). Which is good. Usually my older brother looks after the middle two and I take the baby.. These brothers love that they can basically do whatever they want without consequence. My parents refuse to discipline them.

Well, we do a lot of things as a 'family'. My dad has a habit of buying sweets and telling me or my older brother to share them out. Two days ago my dad gave me the bag, and told me to share with my brother's. I split the sweets into five piles, one for me and four for my brothers. The two Shitheads went wild and started throwing stuff.

Mum calmed them down, and dad gave me a stern talking to. Me and my older brother lost our share to them.. We're both grounded, but not really because our parents can't be bothered to parent their actual f**king children. I tried talking to my friends but they're all calling me selfish. My older brother said in three years he'll get us out but I don't know.

I hope he can.. But, am I in the wrong? They're just kids, even if they are spoiled brats. Edit: Adding some info, was a bit ruled when I wrote this. I've tried communicating with my parents several times, it just ends up slapping me in the face so we shut up and carry on.

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There is many examples, but here's one case of blatant favourism. My youngest brother was eating his dinner, and the older of the two took it from him and started eating it. Baby started crying, and then my mum yelled at him because he needed to share. He wasn't even two at that point, barely talking.

The girl’s refusal to share candy with her foster brothers reflects deep frustration, not selfishness, in a home where her parents’ neglect and favoritism breed resentment. By failing to discipline the foster kids and overburdening their biological children, the parents create a toxic dynamic, undermining family cohesion.

A 2023 study in Child Welfare found that 58% of foster homes with mixed sibling groups report conflict due to inconsistent discipline (Oxford Academic, 2023). Dr. David Pelcovitz, a child psychologist, notes, “Parental neglect of discipline in foster homes can alienate biological children, fostering resentment” (PsychologyToday.com). The cramped living—five kids in one room—exacerbates tension, violating foster care standards in many regions.

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The parents’ inaction and punishment of the girl and her brother dismiss their valid grievances. Reddit’s NTA verdict and CPS suggestions highlight the severity, though some overlook her emotional burden as a child.

She should confide in a trusted teacher or counselor, who can connect her to a social worker (ChildHelp.org). Her older brother might document incidents, like the food-stealing, for evidence. Family therapy could address favoritism if the parents cooperate.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s dishing out fierce support for this teen’s plight, with sharp jabs at her parents’ neglect—get ready for the raw outrage!

jelimrz - NTA your just a kid. It’s down to your parents to teach you how to bond and build relationships. It must be hard to have lots of siblings and then foster siblings as well when time and attention must be spread pretty thinly. Do you have a family member or teacher or social worker you can talk to about the way you feel?

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OneDumbPony - NTA, not only does it sicken me that these kids are not being disciplined, but that you and your older brother have to watch after the younger kids and don't have time to be kids yourself!

Why are your parents taking on more kids than they can take care of and who approved them to foster more? You should've shared the candy with them in the first place, but you should also explain to your parents why you didn't and tell them to ground the foster kids if they're misbehaving.

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unaotradesechable - I think you should call cps. They will not be happy with the fact that your parents have put 5 kids into one room. You can do this anonymously, you could write it from the perspective of governed family friend, maybe ask your older brother to help you detail scribbling.

karmau94 - Info: what makes them 'evil'?

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DismalDally - NTA. Your parents aren’t being responsible here. I understand your foster siblings had a tough life, but your parents aren’t doing them any favors by not disciplining them. They also don’t seem to have the actual room/physical capability to be fostering these children considering 5 of you are sharing one room. They also aren’t able to emotionally invest in all of you it seems.

This is ridiculous, and I don’t understand how this is being allowed to happen. It’s irresponsible, and neglectful to all the children involved. Though I do gotta say, I know you’re resentful of everything going on Op, but you knew what your parents meant about splitting the candy between everyone.. Edited: Updated.

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holdyerhippogriff - Oh honey, I’m not a social worker but I’m a teacher who is friends with quite a few. There HAS to be a social worker who cares about this and can help you. This is absolutely not for you to take on alone. This is not your fault. If you have questions or need help figuring things out, reach out. This is beyond what any 15 or 13 year olds should be taking on.

[Reddit User] - Take video evidence of the hitting, send it to CPS, the foster kids will be gone quick.

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lavinialloyd - I can see where you're coming from and have actually had a very similar experience. You need to speak to their social worker and let her know how you're feeling and all of your concerns. They'll have an obligation to report it / make a note of it and you can see where things go from there.

p0tat0p0tat0 - This is some Flowers in the Attic type s**t. Did your mom give birth to your youngest brother and then immediately take in these two fosters? And would rather everyone believe you gave birth at age 11? You said the room you share with your bio brothers only fits 2 beds and that they are bunk beds. Does that mean 1 bunk bed or a set of 2? You mentioned sharing a bed, who normally shares with who?.

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Did your parents know these children before taking them in? Or their parents? I’m asking these specific questions because I’m very concerned about your situation and want to make sure I fully understand before making recommendations. All I can say now is that this is not normal and you are not being treated in a healthy and safe way. At the very least, this is n**lect from your parents. Much more likely, this is abuse.

[Reddit User] - it seems that the parents shouldn't foster. Five kids in one room when there are three available rooms? Taking on more children when five have to be put in one room? Irresponsible totally. Then creating an environment where the cramped five resent the other two is not healthy for anyone. Big yikes.

These are Reddit’s most searing takes, but do they untangle the mess of loyalty and loss?

This tale of a candy clash and a teen’s resentment is a gut-punch lesson in the cost of parental neglect. Reddit backs the girl’s stand, urging action against a home tipping toward chaos. It’s a reminder that kids shouldn’t bear the weight of adults’ failures. What would you do if you saw a family favoring some kids over others? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this heart-heavy drama!

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