AITA for refusing to swap airplane seats with a mother with young lap-child?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Imagine settling into a carefully chosen airplane seat, ready for an 11-hour flight from London to New Delhi, only to be nudged by a flight attendant to give it up for a mother with a lap-child. For this 58-year-old Redditor, her Premium Economy aisle seat was a haven for her bad knee and travel comfort. But when asked to swap due to an oversold flight, she held firm, unwilling to fix the airline’s mistake. The attendant’s guilt-tripping and thinly veiled threats of poor service only sharpened her resolve.

Now, with the mother and child behind her and the crew’s icy glares, she’s left wondering if her refusal was selfish. Readers feel the tension—her right to her seat versus the family’s need for space. Was she wrong to prioritize her comfort, or did the airline’s overbooking put her in an unfair spot?

‘AITA for refusing to swap airplane seats with a mother with young lap-child?’

I (58F) was travelling with friends (80M & 62F) from London to New Delhi on a major airline. My friends were seated in Upper Class and I had an aisle bulkhead seat in Premium Economy. The flight was oversold.

A flight attendant asked me if I would swap with the lady behind me who had a lap child as she was supposed to be in Upper Class with her husband but one of them had been bumped back because the flight was oversold.

There were multiple things going through my mind that I did NOT voice, like - why wouldn’t one parent and the child remain in Upper Class where there is more room with perhaps the parents swapping places throughout the 11-hour flight; or why not buy three Premium Economy seats and let the child have their own seat

(and yes, I have had three children of my own in a five-year time span and travelled long-haul with them when they were young and we always bought a seat for each person, usually in economy); also, knowing by this stage that any of my concerns would be deemed less important than the mother-child combination,

I did not explain to her that my bad knee was one of the reasons I chose the seat I did. I simply replied that I did not wish to swap seats. The flight attendant persisted in trying to guilt trip me and I said ‘so, let me understand something, your airline has overbooked the flight

and you are having to deal with disgruntled passengers and you want me to help you out for the company’s poor management practices?’ She replied: ‘yes.’ I said I’m sorry but no, I wish to remain in this seat. 

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She then told me that I could expect to not receive friendly or attentive service from the flight crew and that I’d better not complain if the kid behind me kicked the seat. I did not argue as I could tell she was trying to provoke me in order to threaten me with being booted from the flight if I did not give in.. I remained in the seat.. So AITA for not wanting to swap seats?

Refusing a seat swap on a flight can spark heated debates, especially when a child is involved. The Redditor’s decision to keep her seat, chosen for her bad knee, was rooted in practicality, not malice. The airline’s overbooking created the mess, and the flight attendant’s pressure—complete with threats of poor service—crossed a professional line. The mother’s situation was tough, but the husband’s choice to stay in Upper Class suggests a lack of teamwork on their part.

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Airline overbooking is a persistent issue, with 1.2% of passengers bumped annually, per a 2023 U.S. Department of Transportation report. Aviation expert Mary Schiavo notes, “Passengers aren’t obligated to fix airline errors; clear communication and fair compensation are key”. The Redditor’s refusal was within her rights, though a calm explanation of her knee issue might have softened the exchange.

For solutions, airlines should offer incentives, like upgrades, for voluntary swaps. The Redditor could report the attendant’s unprofessional behavior to ensure accountability.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out support with a side of shade for the airline and the husband—here’s what they said:

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IHaveSaidMyPiece − NTA. What a cheek from that attendant. She asked and you said no, that should have been the end of it. These people sometimes let the power go to their head, she should never have threatened you. Friendly and attentive service is what they owe you as a paying customer.. I'd report her and make a complaint, she went way over the line in my opinion.

MommaGuy − NTA. Unless they were willing to refund you the cost of the ticket and let you fly for free it’s not your job to fix someone else’s poor planning. The mother behind you could have just left the kiddo with the parent in Upper Class. Then she wouldn’t have needed the extra room.

HavePlushieWillTalk − NTA, I would have said 'You can expect me to take your name and the names of any of your staff who treat me with poor customer service and to report you to your employer and also to report you for making threats' so you were much nicer than I would have been.

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JGH75 − NTA. Why couldn't they just offer you the husband's seat so he could be with the family?

CthulhuTim − NTA: Its your seat, you bought it, its yours. I would however make a complaint about the flight being overbooked. Thats their mistake. Not yours.

Savings-You7318 − So the Father gets to sit in First Class and the Mother has to sit in Economy with a child? WOW!

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BankshotMcG − Nta. As you say, the airline is the one that oversold the flight. This is on them. Even if you didn't have a bad knee you have a right to the seat that you paid for. It's not your responsibility to fix the airlines mistake for them. And while it's always nice to help people who are carrying a bigger load in life, I'm unsure why she didn't get the premium seat while her husband came back to your section.

ForwardPlenty − NTA. Airline flights have become a cattle car experience. Even paying for the coach upgrade doesn't mean that the airlines won't do everything possible to make your flight as miserable as possible, and a bag of pretzels, and half a can of soda is supposed to make everything all better. So you are going to get surly and inattentive service because you don't change seats?

I am not sure you would be able to tell the difference. Now it is probably not the flight attendants fault, because the airlines themselves are driving most of the incivility in order to remain 'profitable,' but the days of fling being a pleasurable experience, even in first or business class are long gone.

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OTFYogiGirl − NTA but the husband sure is. Did he not want to be bothered taking care of his own child during the flight? If not, then give his wife and child the comfort of the first class seat. As far as the flight attendant, she is one too and needs to relearn her job. The job is hard and full of disrespect, etc but NO is a complete sentence and that should have been the end of it.

AllTheUnknown − NTA. Of course the husband is the biggest AH for taking the good seat.

These Reddit takes are a lively mix of cheers and critiques, but do they capture the full turbulence of this in-flight drama?

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This airplane seat saga shows how quickly a flight can turn into a battle of priorities. The Redditor’s refusal wasn’t about ignoring a mother’s needs—it was about holding her ground against an airline’s blunder and an attendant’s overreach. Your seat is your space, especially when health is at play. Have you ever had to defend your spot in a tight situation? Drop your stories below—how would you handle this high-flying standoff?

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