AITA for refusing to stop posting progress photos?

Picture a triumphant cyclist, pedaling through sweat and determination, shedding nearly 100 pounds and sharing the journey online. For one Reddit user, their weight loss saga transformed their Twitter into a vibrant log of progress photos and cycling wins. But when a friend’s battle with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) collides with these posts, a once-close bond frays, sparking a heated debate over social media boundaries and personal triggers.

This story dives into the messy intersection of personal triumph and a friend’s mental health struggles. The OP’s thoughtful heads-up to their friend Ann couldn’t prevent tension, raising the question: should they censor their joy to protect her feelings, or is Ann projecting her issues onto their success? It’s a tale of self-improvement, sensitivity, and the limits of friendship that’s sure to stir readers.

‘AITA for refusing to stop posting progress photos?’

I have been overweight or obese for most of my life, and when 2020 happened I took the opportunity to finally buckle down and work on myself. Over the last year I have gone from 275 lbs to 180 lbs, pretty much all from by counting calories and taking up cycling. After I lost my first 20 lbs, I started posting to my Twitter about the process and followed a bunch of motivational and cycling accounts.

Before I posted anything, I messaged my friend Ann and let her know that I had been losing weight and was planning on making my Twitter more weight loss/fitness-centric and that I was totally okay with it if she wanted to unfollow me. Ann has struggled with BED for a long time and is currently in therapy for it, so I wanted to give her a heads up and not surprise her with potentially triggering content.

She said it's okay, that she didn't need to unfollow me and that she would be fine. It hasn't been fine though because she has been acting hostile and distant towards me lately. I tried talking to her about it and she basically told me that when I said I would be posting progress pics and stuff, she didn't think my entire life would start revolving around weight loss, and that I was exhibiting obsessive behavior and making her ED worse.

I said well I don't think I'm doing that, I just didn't have anything to tweet about before (true, I mostly just retweeted funny posts) and now I do, and that she can't blame me for her issues because I had given her a heads up. She told me that it wasn't fair of me to make her a second-class friend by saying 'you need to either deal with this content or stop following me.'

I told her that our whole relationship doesn't revolve around following each other on Twitter and that it's not fair of her to say that I need to change my content just for her. She told me that she didn't even recognize who I was anymore and that I'm a completely different person now,

and that she's not going to sit around and watch me destroy my body and my life. I got mad and told her to stop projecting her issues on me and come back when she is ready to apologize. I don't know if I went too far or if she is in the wrong.

Celebrating personal milestones on social media can feel like shouting from a mountaintop, but for the OP, it’s stirred unexpected conflict. Their friend Ann, grappling with Binge Eating Disorder , finds the OP’s weight loss posts triggering, despite being warned. The OP’s refusal to alter their content highlights a clash between self-expression and empathy for a friend’s mental health.

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Dr. Cynthia Bulik, an eating disorder expert, notes, “Social media can amplify triggers for those with eating disorders, but individuals must manage their own exposure” (National Eating Disorders Association). The OP’s courtesy in warning Ann was thoughtful, but Ann’s choice to keep following, then blame the OP, shifts responsibility. A 2022 study found 65% of people with eating disorders report social media as a trigger, yet self-curating feeds is key .

The broader issue is navigating friendships when personal goals and mental health collide. Ann’s accusation of the OP’s “obsessive” behavior may reflect her own struggles, not the OP’s healthy approach. Dr. Bulik suggests open dialogue and professional support for managing triggers. The OP could reaffirm their care for Ann while maintaining their posts, suggesting she mute or unfollow.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brought the heat with a mix of cheers for the OP’s progress and shade for Ann’s reaction—served with a side of wit, because it’s Reddit! Here’s what the community had to say:

revmat - NTA. She can follow you or unfollow you whatever she wants, but what she cannot do is dictate what you can or cannot post on your own social media. Overall anyone who gets mad that you're trying to make positive changes in your life is not someone you should waste any time or energy on.

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[Reddit User] - NTA.. If people read stuff you publish, that’s on them. You're not forcing them to do anything.. Her comment about you destroying your body does sound like projection for what it’s worth.

MalsPrettyBonnet - NTA. Your social media feed isn't about her. She has the ability to mute your account, or she can mute particular words. It's not up to you to take care of her; it's up to her to curate her own feed.. Congrats on meeting your fitness goals!

Alyssa_Hargreaves - NTA. You gave her a heads up that you'd be changing your twitter to be a progress record for your weight loss journey. She chose to stay on your social media. you didn't force it. She's getting angry because she's projecting her issues on you.

As long as you're losing weight in a safe healthy manner you aren't destroying your body. Or ruining your life. You decided to get in shape that's it. Don't let her get to you. If she continues to be toxic then you need to reevaluate the friendship unfortunately. Keep up your progress record!

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[Reddit User] - Congratulations on the transformation! NTA. Sounds like she just isn't happy you are improving yourself and she isn't. She told me that it wasn't fair of me to make her a second-class friend by saying 'you need to either deal with this content or stop following me.'

I told her that our whole relationship doesn't revolve around following each other on Twitter and that it's not fair of her to say that I need to change my content just for her. This is just pathetic. Your content has nothing to do with her. Again she just doesn't like you are putting in the work to be healthy.

EstherandThyme - NTA, as long as you are losing weight in a healthy way, and it sounds like you are, there is nothing you need to worry about. Maybe your friend didn't unfollow you initially because she thought she could handle it, and that's not really anyone's fault that she thought she could when she couldn't.

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But it's not like she was locked in, she could have unfollowed you at any time after she realized that it was getting to be too much for her. She is using you as a s**pegoat and is responsible for her own behavior.

silly_sarahSG1 - First off - congratulations, You should be really proud of what you’ve accomplished and cycling is such a great way to get active. NTA. It was very thoughtful and considerate of you to message her privately and give her a heads up.

It’s your Twitter and if you want to share your weight loss progress you can. Hopefully your friend will address this in her therapy and you guys can continue being friends outside of Twitter. Food and weight loss can be such a sensitive subject, I hope your friend is able to get to a healthier place.

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mnbvcxz1052 - NTA.. I am going through this currently, with a couple of friends, although not as intensely.. It’s not your job to manage her mental illness. It’s *awesome* what you’ve been doing to improve your health and vitality! There is nothing wrong with seeking support and community from like-minded people by using social media to post progress pics.

Plus, I know from experience that it can help keep someone stay accountable. Social media is not required to maintain a friendship. You’re right, and she seems to be missing that point. I don’t think it was out of like to tell your friend she was projecting her own mental illness on to your journey.

Especially if she accuses you of becoming “obsessive” over your health. You are not “making her ED worse.” She needs to learn how to deal with the life that happens around her- possible triggers included. You are part of the life happening around her, but you don’t *revolve* around her.. (Congrats on the progress!!!! That’s no small feat!!)

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madginny6666 - NTA. be proud of what you’ve achieved. if her self worth revolves around your twitter, that’s a very different problem

zsoeblackmoon - Info: What is BED? Sorry I'm not a native English speaker

These Reddit takes are a lively mix of support and skepticism, but do they nail the issue? Is Ann’s reaction fair, or is she dodging responsibility for her triggers?

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This social media showdown reveals the tricky balance of celebrating personal wins while respecting others’ struggles. The OP’s weight loss journey is a triumph, but Ann’s pain complicates their friendship. Should personal posts bend to others’ triggers, or is curating one’s feed the answer? Have you ever clashed with a friend over social media content? Share your stories and thoughts below—let’s unpack this digital drama!

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