AITA for refusing to see my grandson because my daughter refused to cosign an apartment for me?

A 56-year-old woman teeters on homelessness in Los Angeles, rejected from upscale rentals, and begs her 24-year-old daughter—married into wealth and living in a gated mansion—to cosign a modest apartment. The daughter refuses, citing her husband’s money and joint decisions. In retaliation, the mother boycotts Christmas and her 2-year-old grandson, accusing the young family of flaunting luxury while she faces a car or a chaotic co-living dump.

Simultaneous resentment boils from decades of perceived abandonment—cheating ex, alienated son, failed modeling career, 2020 investment wipeout. Beyond that, the mother demands “respect as an elder” from under-35 roommates she disdains. What makes the story more complicated, she frames refusal as betrayal after shared hardships. The knot tightens as entitlement clashes with boundaries, weaponizing a toddler in the standoff.

'AITA for refusing to see my grandson because my daughter refused to cosign an apartment for me?'

Financial freefall crept closer with every rent hike notice.

My (56F) daughter "Sofia" (24F) lives in a gated mansion, all the while knowing I am on the verge of being homeless. And if not homeless, then living in an...

I have been facing financial difficulties for the past 5 years and I just thought that if anybody would understand, it would be my daughter because of all the uncertainties...

A whirlwind romance with real-estate tycoon David unraveled into betrayal.

Her dad " David" and I got together when I was 29 and he was 33. He was already very successful in real estate. I had been married prior with...

My son and I are on comfortable terms, he treats me more like a friend than a mom. Meanwhile my daughter and I are closer and she has a husband...

and while he prefers handling business matters on his own, with regards to family matters, he mostly does what she says, especially after their 2yo boy was born.

Post-baby disinterest from David snowballed into desertion.

ADVERTISEMENT

David was perfectly ok with dating me and my post Baby #1 body, but after I gave birth to Sofia, he visibly lost interest in me. He reneged his proposal,...

This went on for 6 years until he left. Paid child support, but other than that iced us out. I have tried to move on, but after the events of...

Desperation peaked in a co-living nightmare and a cosign plea.

ADVERTISEMENT

I tried to negotiate but the manager said this was a fully staffed, access controlled building in a upper middle class area and that I was getting a deal compared...

I've been apartment hunting since and staying in a coliving situation. It is awful- everybody there is under 35 and I feel they don't respect me as somebody older as...

After a lot of rejections, I talked to a building manager who agreed to consider me if my daughter, one one half of a financial powerhouse cosigned so I asked...

ADVERTISEMENT

Instead of a constructive conversation she kept saying " So I am paying the rent? I have to ask my husband." I told her I was paying the rent as...

I was so distraught and now have to spend my holidays in this dump or my car. Somebody else got the apartment I wanted. Meanwhile my daughter comes asking if...

I was insulted that she'd essentially flaunt her and her son's life of luxury in front of me knowing I'm basically homeless. I told her just that and she said...

ADVERTISEMENT

Entitlement to adult children’s finances ignores basic contract law: a cosigner becomes legally liable for every missed payment, late fee, or eviction cost—potentially tanking credit and triggering lawsuits. Sofia’s refusal honors marital partnership, not cruelty. Opposing generational expectations—“honor thy parent”—collide with modern autonomy; no culture mandates financial rescue past age 18.

Parallel victim narratives (“everyone did me wrong”) evade accountability—modeling flops, risky 2020 investments, disdain for “lowly” jobs like retail or cleaning. Financial therapist Amanda Clayman notes in a 2024 CNBC piece: “Parents who skip teaching fiscal literacy then demand bailouts breed resentment; boundaries aren’t punishment, they’re oxygen.” Weaponizing grandson access escalates emotional blackmail, eroding any goodwill.

Societally, LA’s housing crunch punishes fixed-income seniors, yet cosigning isn’t charity—it’s a loan with teeth. Respect-as-elder rhetoric masks classism; roommates owe safety, not deference. Therapy, budgeting, and senior subsidies offer real exits—grandkids thrive on stable grandparents, not guilt trips.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Users unanimously branded the mother YTA, citing entitlement, zero accountability, and toddler punishment.

Bright_Again − YTA. Besides it sounding like you've never been very financially stable, she's right in that she can't just cosign away because if you fail to make payments then...

Sure, in marriage money is shared, but that's an agreement they have to come upon together. Also, nobody owes you extra respect because you're older. That's nonsense from a bygone...

ADVERTISEMENT

Age doesn't automatically make you more valuable or worthy. Sounds like you just think you're too good for the place and want better- maybe you need to live within your...

chaingun_samurai − Sounds like there's a reason that Sofia declined, and isn't all that worried about you not seeing her kid. But yeah, you sound like a self absorbed AH....

sekhenet − Sounds like you’ve never been financially responsible, I wouldn’t cosign a damn thing for you either. Yta.

ADVERTISEMENT

Hippy_Dippy_Gypsy − YTA there is probably a whole lot more you aren’t saying about what you have done to your kids and what you have done in the way of...

Starbucks, cleaned houses, wherever and whatever and saved your money. Then you would be a responsible 56 year old woman. And now you want your daughter who married well to...

She doesn’t want to for a reason…and it would be good to hear from Both your kids what the truth is. And now, you don’t want to see your grandkid...

ADVERTISEMENT

plantsb4putas − YTA Your daughter doesnt owe you anything. Those younger roommates you speak of? Respect is *earned* not owed to you or anyone else. Move somewhere (probably out of...

A few highlighted legal realities and suggested practical exits.

DaveWpgC − If you started a luxury sales job why can't you live in the s__tty place for 6 months & save money to get a better place?

ADVERTISEMENT

Two_Legged_Problem − Your child is not responsible for your life events. She is not obligated to do anything and if you had a hard life, she probably did too since...

She said its not her money, which is correct and she respects her husband enough to discuss it with him before saying anything. What is wrong with that? Just because...

You sound really petty and jealous because your daughter got her life together before you did and now you feel entitled to it. If i were her, i would not...

ADVERTISEMENT

Sarcasm sliced through the entitlement with surgical precision.

Van_Schwank − YTA. What did the grandson do to you? Using a child to hurt someone because you didn't get your way is very cold. Also parents have a responsibility...

Intrepid-Scarcity486 − I wouldn’t co-sign a McDonald’s cheeseburger Happy holidays

ADVERTISEMENT

Some other comments from readers.

theFCCgavemeHPV − Why don’t you ask your grandson if he thinks you’re the AH. Oh wait, he can’t. Cuz you won’t see him. Quit your s__t and grow the f__k...

ADVERTISEMENT

Your attitude is pathetic and hateful and it will rot you from the inside out until even your grandson won’t give you the time of day. Get a cheaper place...

SamiHami24 − I'm kind of stuck on this statement: *everybody there is under 35 and I feel they don't respect me as somebody older as they should* What do you...

You don't get respected just because you have a few more miles on you than they do. You earn respect. Your post reeks of a victim mentality.

ADVERTISEMENT

All the negative in your life is because of other people--husbands, landlords, roommates, daughter. ..when is any of it your responsibility and up to you to fix? Maybe it's not...

yeahyeahyeah6661 − YTA. Cosign means if you fail to pay they come after the signee. Yeah I wouldn't want to go sign with someone with your attitude either.

[Reddit User] − YTA. "Financial powerhouse"? This reads like rage bait written by ChatGPT. Everything is someone else's fault, never yours. There's no accountability from you anywhere in this post.

ADVERTISEMENT

You sound very materialistic and self-centered, like a very one-dimensional sit-com villain. I don't believe for a second this is a genuine post.

General-Belt-7909 − OMG. Yes! YTA. Grow up. Get your own life in order. Your financial issues are your responsibility. Not your daughters. Wth kind of grandmother and mother are you.

opensilkrobe − YTA. You’ve just been a victim all your life, haven’t you

ADVERTISEMENT

Cosign refusal drew a hard line; grandson boycott crossed it into emotional extortion. Overwhelming verdict: rebuild credit, swallow pride, take any job—grandma cards require deposits of effort, not demands. How early should parents teach kids financial literacy to avoid this cycle? Ever cosigned for family—regret or relief? Spill below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *