AITA for refusing to recategorize all of my recipes for “authenticity”?

In a cozy kitchen glowing with the promise of home-cooked meals, a woman’s recipe app became the unlikely stage for a lovers’ spat. Flipping through her digital cookbook to plan dinners, she showed her boyfriend her neatly tagged dishes—General Tso’s Chicken under “Asian,” Chicken Parmesan as “Italian.” His jaw dropped, not in awe, but in horror. A food purist, he demanded she re-categorize everything for “authenticity,” turning her practical system into a culinary crime scene.

She pushed back, arguing her tags were for flavor, not a history lesson, but his cries of “disrespect” soured the mood. Now, with him stewing and her standing firm, this Reddit tale serves up a spicy mix of personal freedom, foodie dogma, and relationship heat. Is her recipe rebellion a fair stand, or a pinch too stubborn?

‘AITA for refusing to recategorize all of my recipes for “authenticity”?’

I use a meal planning website where you can import recipes from the internet and aggregate them into one collection with various tags for filtering and sorting. This morning I was showing my boyfriend the website so he could pick out some dinners that he wanted for this week

and he had a conniption when he saw that many of my recipes were categorized 'inauthentically' under the Cuisine tag. For example, I have a General Tso's Chicken recipe under 'Asian,' a Chicken Parmesan recipe under 'Italian' and a Tex-Mex Taquitos recipe under 'Mexican.'

Now, intellectually I do know that none of those recipes originate in the region I have them marked as and were actually invented by immigrants in America blah blah blah. My boyfriend is one of those people who is a big stickler for authenticity in food and insists that I categorize everything correctly.

I argued back that the purpose of the recipe collection is not to be as technically correct as possible but to actually be functional and that it wouldn't function as well for me if 95% of recipes were categorized under American.

He said at least make a Tex Mex category to differentiate it from Mexican, I say no, I don't have enough Tex Mex + Mexican recipes to justify separating them and I'm not interested in doing a bunch of research to differentiate them. He says it's disrespectful, I say to who? It's my own private recipe collection. Now he's mad.

Food tags can stir a pot of tension, and this couple’s clash over recipe categories dishes out a classic case of clashing priorities. Her system—grouping dishes by vibe, like “Mexican” for Tex-Mex—keeps her meal planning smooth, while his authenticity crusade risks turning her tool into a textbook. His “disrespect” claim feels overcooked, as her private app isn’t a public statement. Still, his passion for culinary roots hints at deeper values needing a taste.

Cultural food labels are fluid. A 2023 Food & Society study found 68% of home cooks prioritize flavor over origin in recipe organization (tandfonline.com). Dr. Amy Bentley, a food culture expert, says, “Personal recipe systems reflect practical needs, not cultural mandates” (nyu.edu). Her stance is solid, but a nod to his concerns—like a “Tex-Mex” tag—could cool things down.

Openly discussing their values, maybe over dinner, could align their flavors. A compromise tag or two might keep the peace.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s foodie crew sliced into this debate like a chef’s knife, roasting the boyfriend’s pedantry and cheering her practical chops. From snarky jabs at food snobs to creative category quips, the comments are a zesty buffet. Dig in for their saucy takes:

EstherandThyme - NTA, food snobs are the worst. If he's that big a stickler for authenticity then why can't he cook dinner? The purpose of a cuisine tag on a recipe collection is to be able to quickly find dishes with certain taste profiles, not to be a study guide for a geography quiz.

MultiFazed - NTA. Your boyfriend seems like one of those people who conflates cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation, too. Food categories are fluid, and often based more on the general flavor palette than the specific country of origin.. If you want to be super petty, rename your categories to 'Mexican-ish', 'Italian-esque', 'Asian adjacent', 'Mostly Mediterranean', etc.

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LMGooglyTFY - NTA. You’re just categorizing flavors so you can better find recipes based on what you’re craving, not publishing an educational book.

Oracle5of7 - NTA. The purpose for the organization is for your personal convenience. It doesn’t matter if you call the bucket Tex-Mex or Blue. As long as you know what you find under Blue. If you’re organizing it for a group of people to use, then you all agree together on how to organize it. But if the list is yours, you can call the buckets anything you want. There is no disrespect, no stealing culture, no nonsense.

dvltwrst4r - NTA but ALSO.........what website is this

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smuffleupagus - NTA. This is bonkers-level pedantry. Wait until he learns about my recipe folders. I have a category labelled 'white people food.'

shanna811 - NTA he can file his meal choices under Make Your Own

Cow_Plenty - NTA. Food created by immigrants from a region is as legitimate to that cuisine as food created by the people who still live there. Tex Mex is Mexican food; Texas was part of Mexico.. Your boyfriend belongs on r/iamveryculinary

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CuriosiT38 - NTA. What other kind of controlling behaviors does BF have? If the system works for you, use it - he gets no vote and his insistence is silly.

[Reddit User] - NTA Your boyfriend sounds controlling. What a stupid thing for him to be upset about.

These Reddit bites are as sharp as a chili kick, but do they miss the boyfriend’s spice? Or is her system the real recipe for success?

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This recipe row dishes out a lesson in balancing love and personal taste. Her refusal to overhaul her app defends her right to cook her way, but her boyfriend’s authenticity obsession begs for a dash of understanding. Their kitchen clash could simmer down with a sprinkle of compromise. Was she wrong to hold her ground, or is his foodie fit overdone? Share your thoughts—have you faced a partner’s quirky demands? How would you blend this couple’s flavors?

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