AITA for refusing to pay my uncle rent to stay in a cabin owned by the whole family?

The mountain air was crisp, promising serenity, as a young writer dreamed of penning a novel in their family’s rustic cabin—a haven co-owned by four siblings, including their mother. With their rental home sold, the empty cabin seemed like a perfect retreat. But the plan hit a snag when their uncle, dubbed Uncle Stingy, demanded rent for staying past a month, citing lost Airbnb profits he pockets solo.

This cabin, a family gem left empty most of the year, has always welcomed relatives freely. The uncle’s sudden claim to charge rent feels like a tollbooth on a shared legacy. This story unpacks a clash over property, privilege, and family rules, stirring up questions about fairness and boundaries that hit close to home.

‘AITA for refusing to pay my uncle rent to stay in a cabin owned by the whole family?’

My 92 year old grandfather has a cabin in the mountains that is owned in trust equally between my mother and her three brothers. It remains empty about 11 months a year, but is available for any family to go visit if they want, like during summer vacation, for example. All four siblings split the costs of the house, including property taxes, insurance, and maintenance.

There is no mortgage. One uncle, who I'll call Uncle Stingy, has taken on the role of the caretaker, since he uses the cabin the most. He goes up a week in the spring and a week in the fall, and rents it out to his friends (and pockets the money), and takes care of any regular caretaking that needs to be done.

Due to the owner of the house I've been renting for 11 years deciding to sell it, I find myself without a home, and I've decided to take this opportunity to inject some change into my life. I recognized that I have tremendous privilege to have access to an empty home during this time, and I decided to go stay there for the summer while I work on a novel.

I checked in with Uncle Stingy and he said he'd be up there until June 2nd, so I told him I'd come in that night. I told him to let me know what the utilities costs were while I was up there, and I'd be happy to pay those, as well as any percentage of maintenance or anything relevant while I'm there. He said okay, and I began to plan my trip.

Out of the blue today, I get a call from him and he says he realized that I wanted to stay up there a bit longer than he expected. 'A month is fine - you gotta get back on your feet. But any longer than that, and you know, I could be charging $130/night for this as an AirBnb.'

'You'd have to pay someone to manage it locally in that case, too,' I said. None of my family is local to the cabin, the closest being 8 hours away. 'And if you have someone who wants to rent it while I'm up there, just let me know. I'll leave for that period and come back when they're gone.'

'I'm just saying that this house could be getting $3K a month in rental fees, so nobody should just be living up there for free enjoying this beautiful cabin in the mountains.' He ended the conversation with telling me that if I wanted to stay longer than a month, he'd 'have to' charge me.

I just ignored him and hung up. I'm planning on staying up there and occupying the empty home for 1-2 months. If he tries to insist I pay him anything (beyond the costs of normal bills and maintenance), I'll just ignore him. My mother (and directly, me, as her son) have equal right and access to this cabin. AITA for refusing to pay my uncle to rent a cabin he doesn't own or have the right to charge rent?

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EDITED TO ADD: My mother suggested I stay there initially. She's also very ill so I have been trying to do this without bothering her. Additionally, the rule for the last 15 years for this cabin has been 'Any family can stay there for as long as they want - it's open to everyone.' Cousins and kids and grandkids have all just announced they're going up to the cabin. It's not, and has never been an 'ask permission' type of situation.

A family cabin should be a refuge, not a battleground, but shared ownership often breeds conflict. The Reddit user’s dispute with their uncle over paying rent for a co-owned cabin highlights tensions between individual control and collective rights.

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The user, backed by their mother’s ownership and a family tradition of free access, sees the cabin as a rightful haven. The uncle’s rent demand, tied to his unshared Airbnb profits, feels like overreach, especially without other owners’ consent.

This mirrors broader issues in family property disputes. A 2024 National Association of Realtors report found 25% of co-owned vacation homes face usage conflicts, often due to unclear agreements. Dr. Pauline Tesler, a family law expert, notes, “Shared ownership requires consensus, not unilateral decisions.”

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The user could seek a family meeting to clarify rules, while the uncle should split rental income fairly.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit rolled in like a summer storm, dropping opinions as sharp as pine needles on this cabin conundrum. Here’s what they had to say about this family feud.

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italiangirl85 − NTA, but I would have your mom put in a call as well or perhaps one of your other uncles and put ol' Scrooge in his place.

WaylonsGuitar − NTA it's shared between 4 people, if anything it's him that's the arsehole for pocketing all the rent money and not dividing it out between the 4 owners.

brokenkiddo − NTA. Tell him you're paying rent to your mom.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: what does the family think? He is apparently using co-owned property for income which he doesn’t share with anyone and so far no one has protested. Either they just dont care because they wouldnt use it anyways and he is doing all the work or there is a reason why they think he is entitled to the money and control of the property. Do you have the backing of the rest of the family to use the cabin long term?

SnakesCantWearPants − NTA. I'd tell him, 'Since your guests only pay rent to you and none of the 3 other owners see a penny of it, and I'm my mother's guest not yours, I'll let my mother decide if and how much rent she feels is appropriate and I'll pay it directly to her.

VanillaFam − NTA if the property is shared between 4 people, then 4people should agree on charging you rent and 4 people should pocket money not just your uncle. Id reccomend clearing the whole mess up now than waiting until it blows up once youve been there over a month

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[Reddit User] − The four people listed on the trust have direct right to the property.. Those four people can grant and revoke access as they see fit. You are not one of those four people. So you need to talk with the other three about where they stand with this fiasco. As it stands tho YTA. You were given a time limit by one of the trustees and you just decide to ignore it because you feel like it.

vherearezechews − ESH. You because you are not a co-owner, your mother is. This gives you direct access but you don’t have a stake in the ownership and Uncle Stingy DOES supersede you in cabin decisions. You cannot unilaterally decide to move in for the entire summer unless all the owners agree, your mother may own 25% but it isn’t a “she gets 3 months whenever.”

That said, it sounds like the entire situation is pretty relaxed with the exception of Uncle Stingy, who sucks for thinking he can demand you pay AirBnB rates after a month. You need to talk to your mom, and she needs to clear the multi-month use of the shared cabin with her siblings. If everyone agrees then nta.

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Summerie − INFO. Why are you the one discussing this with your uncle? You have zero ownership on the cabin, while your uncle owns a percentage of it. Your mother is also a partial owner, so if she wants to let you use it for some amount of time, *she* should be the one discussing this with the other owners.

radleynope − YTA. You just decided, without permission, to move in. Even if your mom has 1/4 ownership, you would still need the approval of *all* four of the other owners. Sounds like you don't. It is shady AF that you didn't mention your plan to your mother or others and asked if it's ok. If you know your uncle rents the place out, the other owners certainly know about it and don't care.

Your uncle was fine with you staying for a transition, and was even ok with having an entire month free, which is the opposite of stingy, but is not ok with you completely moving in and pretending the cabin is your home. You are a mooch and this will cause massive problems in your family, in which you will not come out on top.

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Even if your mom decides to defend you on this, she will resent you for having to do so, and for making her look bad in the process. Take one free month at absolute max, and don't push your luck on this. You are already taking up an entire month of prime vacation time in the summer.

Do realize that if any relatives want to come up during your stay, you get zero say and will have to accommodate them. And your uncle *does* own it, so your argument that he doesn't won't fly, and neither will your bizarre idea that ownership has a transitive property so what your mom owns is also yours. You get jack and have no rights until your mom is dead and leaves you her portion.

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they cut through the fog? Family property disputes are knotty, and quick judgments might miss the full picture.

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This cabin clash shows how fast a family retreat can turn into a turf war when rules blur. The user’s stand against their uncle’s rent demand defends a shared legacy, but the uncle’s solo profiteering muddies the waters. A family powwow could set things straight. How would you handle a relative trying to cash in on shared family property? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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