AITA for refusing to pay for wine I didn’t even order and try?
Last Sunday, two lifelong friends met for dinner at a semi-posh restaurant, their usual “go Dutch” agreement in place. The mood was light, with clinking glasses and warm chatter, until one friend’s £126 bottle of wine turned the evening sour. The Reddit user (OP) faced a surprising Venmo request for £65, despite not touching the wine.
This clash over cash stirs up questions of friendship and fairness. OP’s frustration, laced with Italian swearing and disbelief, draws us into a relatable drama about boundaries and expectations. Let’s uncork the details and see who’s really at fault.
‘AITA for refusing to pay for wine I didn’t even order and try?’
This wine-fueled friendship fiasco is a classic case of mismatched expectations at the dinner table. As OP navigates their friend’s sudden demand for £65, the tension highlights a broader issue: how do we handle money matters in close relationships? According to financial therapist Bari Tessler, “Money conversations require clarity and mutual respect, especially among friends” . Tessler’s insight underscores OP’s frustration—without prior agreement, the friend’s wine order was a solo splurge, not a shared expense.
OP’s decision to abstain from alcohol, known to their friend, adds another layer. The friend’s insistence on splitting the bill ignores OP’s boundary, hinting at entitlement or perhaps external pressures, like a partner questioning her spending. Social psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes that such demands can stem from “cognitive dissonance,” where people justify their actions to avoid guilt . Here, the friend may feel foolish for her pricey choice and is deflecting onto OP.
This situation reflects a wider social trend: navigating financial etiquette in friendships. A 2022 survey by PayPal found that 38% of friends argue over splitting bills, often due to unclear expectations . OP’s firm stance is a lesson in setting boundaries, but it risks the friendship. Tessler advises open dialogue: “A simple, ‘Let’s talk about how we split bills next time,’ can prevent resentment.” OP could propose this to salvage the bond while holding their ground.
For readers, the takeaway is clear: discuss shared expenses upfront. Whether it’s wine or wings, clarity keeps friendships fizzy, not flat.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back on this one—here’s the tea, served with a side of sass:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. If she wanted you to pay for half of the relatively expensive wine she should have asked if you wanted to split a bottle before she ordered it. That’s proper etiquette.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/326452cm-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − Ugh, no - NTA. Her logic doesn’t even make sense. It’s not like you were splitting the bill down the middle - you essentially got separate checks if you each paid for what you ordered. If she wants to end the friendship over it, that’s on her. The polite thing would have been for her to ask you if you would split a bottle of wine with her.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/326452cm-03.png)
These hot takes from Reddit are spicy, but do they pour truth or just stir the pot? One thing’s clear: OP’s not alone in facing friendship finance fights.
OP’s wine woes remind us that even the oldest friendships can hit a sour note over money. While OP stood firm on their boundary, the friend’s pushiness uncorked deeper issues—etiquette, respect, and maybe a touch of wine-induced regret. As we sip on this story, it’s a chance to reflect on our own bill-splitting battles. What would you do if a friend demanded cash for something you didn’t touch? Drop your stories or verdict, or weigh in: is OP the hero or, here? Let’s uncork the conversation!
